epidemiology | (closed)

[Unsurprisingly, it takes less than a week for Riza to realize that living with a 12 year old boy right on the cusp of puberty is vastly different from living with a scholarly man more interested in the workings of his own mindscape rather than the workings of a slowly decaying household. Surprisingly, it's not until quite a bit later (think: several weeks) that Riza finds herself with enough time to do a thorough cleaning of their inn room. The single dresser's been moved to the middle of the room and, along with a hastily requisitioned separator, forms the basis of the division separating Dipper's half from Riza's half.

One side's neatly arranged while the other looks to be halfway through its transformation into a pigsty, and Riza can't help but wrinkle her nose in distaste as she delicately picks up an old sock and tosses it into the laundry pile. A shirt joins it, followed by a well-worn scarf - hers, actually, brought over one night by an exuberant puppy - though the book she picks up next ends up being barred from the laundry pile.]

Dipper, is this yours?

[The heavy book looks quite cryptic though, more akin to a goblin's sacred texts than the journal of a rather ordinary boy. She flips it over once in her hands, eyes speculative.]

[With her room finally clean - admittedly for all of a day but she'll fucking take it - Riza heads towards the local bathhouse, determined to indulge in a nice bath. She'd already scrubbed herself twice after crawling through the disgusting innards of the nearby cave, but now that no danger appears to be immediately visible on the horizon she figures she can spare half an hour for a good long soak.

Upon entering, she finds she's not the only one. There's a curtain of soft pink hair before her that leads her to raise a hand and smile in greeting.]

—Hello, Olivia.

[It starts small, with a single innocuous remark about the sad state of Gintoki's hair - unkempt and overgrown, littered with small twigs and leaves and only a pale mockery of its once former glory. From there it snowballs, the verbal barbs flung at each other elevated to a physical level when Riza wheedles a local innkeeper for a pair of scissors. Soap, a comb, and a small hand mirror join her arsenal not long afterwards, though in the end the hardest part turns out to be convincing Gintoki to let her anywhere near his precious hair with a sharp object.

Her patience might run long but it still wears thin, and eventually she's holding up the scissors, lips flatlining across her face.]

If you keep arguing, I'll cut it all off.

_{[ She was so rude. With the sun being gone, not even Gintoki had really looked in a mirror much, but he was realizing that it was proving very difficult to see through his silvery bangs.. not like this bothered him too much, but it did get him thinking about maybe seeing a local barber much to his agonizing thought.
So, he put it off. It costed money anyway.

Gintoki has backed himself in a corner, palms covering over his hair as if that were going to protect it any. ]}

Oi! It's a new look! Leave it alone! You'll make it look like R*ck L** when I'm going for a cool look!

_{[ It wasn't that Gintoki hated haircuts. He actually really enjoyed them. But back in Edo, he had a specific barber he went to who made it just perfect. It wasn't the haircut that was the problem, it was the person who wanted to give him a haircut. ]}

[ that curtain of hair sways slightly when olivia glances over her shoulder, brows raised and lips parted on mild (but pleasant!) surprise. ]

Oh — Miss Riza!

[ her penchant for formality seems to fluctuate given the situation, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯... she smiles a little bashfully, turning to face the other woman with one hand raised in a meager return of that wave. her other hand fiddles with the fold of her towel, seemingly the only thing keeping it wrapped firmly around her. ]

Is this your first time here too...?

[ that at least explains why she looks so uncertain and lost... ]

[ Now that there's actual daylight outside, Dipper's been taking it upon himself to be more adventurous than usual; the entire world is certainly more visible, giving it an entirely different look, and he wants to see it.

So that's where he's been for a good portion of the time when Riza decides to begin cleaning. Eventually he returns, slipping back into the room in time to spot a smelly sock tossed over her shoulder, and briefly wonders if he should try fishing for its other half that fell behind the bed the other night. (But it's such a tight squeeze...) As Dipper carefully makes his way back towards his own bed and out of Riza's way, he's barely sat his backpack down before her query comes. ]

... Oh, my journal! I forgot to put it back in my bag before I left—sorry 'bout that.

[Don't be such a wuss, Gintoki.

Unfortunately for him, his protests fall on deaf ears, Riza's expression not changing an inch as she continues to bear down on him. Lord knows she's as fussy as any girl when it comes to getting her hair trimmed but this is just getting ridiculous.]

I'm not sure you know what's cool or not any longer.

[Being the old man he is and everything. But fine, she'll relent the tiniest bit and try to put him at ease..]

It'll just be a small trim, there's no need to worry.

[Isn't 'uncertain' Olivia's default state of being most days....

But the sight of a friendly face - especially belonging to someone as sweet as Olivia - is enough to put Riza at ease and there's no reluctance or hesitation in her movements as she shrugs off her coat and starts undressing, clothes all folded into a neat pile next to her.]

I've been here a few times before, when things were calmer. Bathing in a river or lake might rouse less suspicion but sometimes only a hot bath will do the trick.

[Olivia's a fellow girl, surely she understands...]

[Good timing, Dipper!

She turns at his approach, though her eyes quickly dart back to the book in her hands as he freely claims ownership to it. Looks like there's a great deal she's let to learn about her small friend.]

I didn't know you kept a journal.

[Obviously but it's either say that or accuse him of not being the type to dutifully scribble in records of his daily life.]

_{[ You're also about his age? Riza, please. Don't call him an old man.
Gintoki stands firm, not budging a muscle. ]}

What do you know? You have straight hair. You don't know crap about this curse! A trim and you'll have me looking like Kr*llin! A MAIN CHARACTER ISN'T ALLOWED TO LOOK LIKE KR*LLIN!

_{[ please somebody tell him about One Punch Man. ]}

You can't thin it out like the barber always does, either. Are you really wanting to touch it that badly? Are you that curious of wavy hair? It's not an easy life with it.
_{[ Apparently all of his problems are deeply rooted in his hair. ]}

Heh, I, uh—normally don't.

[ Dipper turns to take a step closer, watching as she examines it. ]

Technically, I didn't write most of that, but I've put some of my own notes in there.

[That explanation makes even less sense than the one of him keeping a journal, and her eyebrows fly up almost instantaneously after he finishes elaborating.]

So you have someone else's journal?

[The ~~Force~~ soon-to-be judgement is strong with this one.]

[Wow, don't be rude and bring her age into this!!

She has no idea who (or what?) the fuck Kr*llin is but immediately throws the protest out with the trash, along with the rest of his nonsense words. Wavy hair and straight hair might be different, true, but she's got enough experience with both.]

My hair might be straight but I've cut wavy hair before. I used to cut my friend's hair in the barracks, back when we were younger and didn't have time to get our hair done in town.

[She casts another critical eye over Gintoki.]

Though I don't think even she would date you, looking like that.

_{[ What the hell was that insult? Gintoki can only stare at Riza for a moment. Who the heck was she talking about and why should he care? ]}

Her taste is lackluster, probably like her appearance.
_{[ Gintoki. ]}

Riza-san, if you wanted to just date me, you could of just said so instead of implying it like this.
_{[ He's horsing around with her, for the record. But some good news: his hands have crept away from his kinky hair, showing he might actually be complying.
Besides, doesn't he get a shampoo first? A shampoo is fine. He loves those. ]}

[ And he'd swear the judging is already happening. In an instant Dipper shrinks back, hands flying up defensively. ]

... Did that come out creepy? That came out creepy.

[ Please stop giving him that look it's intimidating..... ]

It's just—complicated. I found it out in the woods one day and I kept it all summer but even after I found out it belongs to my great uncle Ford he's let me keep it ever since and that's basically the whole story in a nutshell, promise!

[ r00d. ]

Heh, that's true... I've always passed by this on my way to the market, but I was never really brave enough to come in until today. [ she figures now is as good a time as any to take advantage of the town's general good mirth? she doesn't usually indulge in luxuries, but there's no denying the appeal of a good, hot soak. ]

Um... Would you mind if I tagged along?

[ isn't it more fun as a group?! ]

[In reply:]

It is a public bath.

[Even if Riza were to say no, there's no rule stating Olivia wouldn't be able to follow right after regardless. But the thought of having a companion as sunny as Olivia's a pleasant one and Riza's quick to append a few more words.]

But of course not. I'd like the company very much.

[Her hair's unclipped and the rest of her clothes shucked off and replaced by a towel. Even with the extra covering, there's a bare patch of her upper back revealed, and decorated with a series of elaborate lines in varying thickness.]

[That story sounds so far-fetched it's making this whole thing sound even creepier, not even gonna lie. But Dipper's seemed like a good and honest kid for the time she's known him, so Riza dials that suspicion down for the moment and hears him out.

After she makes sure there are no holes in his story.]

Did he lose it out in the woods?

[Like a million years ago.]

[Ah, good thing Rebecca's not here to hear that. She'd probably shoot Gintoki's balls for real.

Riza, meanwhile, holds off on shooting Gintoki anywhere, largely because her hands are full and it'd be a waste to use a bullet on this pathetic sack standing in front of her.]

I prefer to make men work for it.

[Does she actually?? Stay tuned to find out. For now, there's some hair to be cut, regardless if the person it belongs to is willing or not.]

Or in this case, sit through a haircut for it. [Look, she has standards, she's definitely not going to date him while he looks like that.]

[ What an interrogation... Dipper shifts on his feet awkwardly, inwardly wondering if she's going to keep the book hostage until she's satisfied with his responses. C'moooon... ]

I think it was hidden. [ Locked up in some weird chamber that he stumbled upon purely by accident. ] It... wasn't supposed to be found, I guess. But there's nothing in there that says who wrote it, so I spent forever trying to figure that out.

[Never mind, this is going back into the 'sketch as fuq' territory, though she supposes she has absolutely no reason to hold onto the journal while she asks all these questions. It's held out towards Dipper even as Riza keeps talking.]

Your great uncle must have led quite a life if he felt the need to hide his personal journal.

[If only she had any idea of the absolute scope of that life.]

[ At long last, it's in the safety of his hands once more! Dipper's shoulders ease up once it's handed back to him, and at her statement, he can't help but break into a small grin. ]

Actually... Yeah! Look— [ He folds the book open in his hands, settling on a page at random; detailed drawings and cursive script cover the pages as old and worn as the cover itself, aged into a yellow. Dipper doesn't stop there though, slowly turning the pages that go into more detail of monsters and myth, artifacts and magic, ciphers and alchemic symbols. ] It's more like a catalog of Gravity Fall's hidden supernatural side than it is a personal diary—he studied it all for years and everything!

[Is that book the key to Dipper's happiness or something? His transformation into excitable kid the second the book touches his hands is a little alarming.

Book successfully passed off, Riza continues her sweep of Dipper's side of the room, though she makes it all of a step further before she's drawn back into the neat script and nonsensical images printed on the pages held out to her. And so many pages there are, the pageturns seeming endless as Dipper flips through the book.]

And these are all real things?

[Her voice is incredulous, though not disparaging.]

[ Yes, actually...

When she grows skeptical, Dipper pauses (on a page about ghosts, categorized by their danger levels). Oh, he hates that tone. ]

Yeah, it's real! I've seen so many of these things already—I dedicated my entire summer to this journal!

[The tone'll go away soon....promise. Even if it's still difficult for her to believe in things she can't see right in front of her face (and no, pages in a journal don't count).

She's still not ready to believe that there's an entire catalog of creepy creatures hanging around a single place, but she soldiers on valiantly despite that.]

Chantes must not be very exciting for you then. There don't seem to be too much by the way of the supernatural here.

(closed)

DIPPER

OLIVIA

GINTOKI

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