epidemiology | [closed] heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why.

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[closed] heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why.

CHARACTERS: Gilgamesh and Rin
DATE: Several days following the conclusion of the battle with Ryba.
WARNINGS: Hurt/comfort ahead. Potentially some disturbing imagery; will update as needed.
SUMMARY: In the absence of a Master and with the loss of a lover, Gilgamesh returns to one who might fill the void.

[For some time, Gilgamesh simply stews.

He buries himself in bed and doesn't come out. He drinks wine by the gallon, even more so than usual; he huddles under the sheets and pictures arms around him that are no longer there. He sleeps and sleeps and sleeps, because there's nothing else for him to do. Nothing else worth doing anymore. He doesn't weep. There are no tears left to shed. In fact, he doesn't feel anything at all. Just empty.

Just alone, as the King has always been and will always be. He was a fool to believe otherwise.

He awakens one evening with a strange sensation in his head; some boon from ALASTAIR, no doubt, which has him grumbling. But there may be use for this. Gilgamesh was still a social animal, still suffers with no one around to prod or to pester. He reaches, and reaches, and reaches...

And so eventually touches the mind of Rin without really thinking about it. Not on purpose, at least.]

Are you awake?

[She won't find the contact too startling, hopefully. It's his voice, but it feels about the same as Archer's would over their bond.]

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[she doesn't. rin is curled up on the edge of the beach somewhere, in a darkened alcove she's shaded off just for her in the rare moments she decides to seek rest. the tap of gilgamesh's voice into her mind is initially so similar to archer that a reply pops out automatically, half-finished and slightly irritated because if this is her servant, he should be aware he's wasting her time.]

Of course I'm awake. You should still kno—

[... oh. realization dawns on her. the quality of the voice is different. this isn't archer, but,]

Gilgamesh.

[she hasn't seen him since the battle. too busy devoting everything she can to the nalawi, rin naturally hasn't stopped to worry much over it. it's only his contact that reminds her they'd made an agreement to meet up afterwards, and she silently curses her forgetfulness as she answers him.

a skilled magus, rin could rebuff any attempt to influence her mentally. she doesn't, here.

in fact, she sounds worried and concerned, like she's comforting her own servant sick in bed.]

I am. If you need me, come to me. You don't have to say anything more.

[it would arguably be wasting more valuable time to suggest a different possibility.]

[Were he in a better mood, he might've laughed at that familiar flare of temper. As it stands, Gilgamesh waits with almost undue patience for her prosper response. When it comes, he hedges, and it can be heard quite obviously over the link despite his sincerest attempts to stifle it back down.]

I am very ill.

[It's not said to garner sympathy, but rather because it's the truth, and indeed, he wouldn't waste her time with such pitiful company. Knowing Rin, however, she will insist upon it, so he caves before an argument can even begin. Also unusual, for the stubborn King of Heroes, but he just wasn't up to maintaining his usual layers of resistance today.]

Where are you? If you ask, I will abide.

[He sounds... tired. Defeated, despite their victory. Something was very clearly amiss here.]

[yes, what she hears and feels as gilgamesh isn't quite the gilgamesh she's most familiar with, either. at his weakness, his admission of illness, immediately her thoughts jump to the worst. her compassion for him is situated so deeply it's impossible for her to keep any of it from flavoring her transmission. he wouldn't be sick if he had a master. he wouldn't lie to her like this.]

You will come here immediately! [her declaration is trembling. a master giving a shrill order.] Search for my location. You can, can't you? Along the coast of Komo. If you're having trouble, hunt out the gem heavy with my mana.

[as she "speaks", she seamlessly places a bright ruby into the sand at her feet, blessing it to shine and bleed heavy mana into the air—an easy draw for a master-less servant.]

Yes, Rin.

[He throws on his clothes and heads out, following the trace of her mana as only a Servant can.

It takes some time. Of course, Gilgamesh can move when he has to, but right now it's an issue of not really wanting to. He's just so sluggish, and in the absence of a Master it is as if all his energy's been ripped out of him. It's nothing as bad as Chantes, of course, when he foolishly wasted his magic with no means to replenish it, but even so...

Even so, the trek to her shady little spot proves arduous. He does find Rin, eventually, and he wastes no time in sitting beside her. His eyes shut almost immediately. The heavy rings beneath them serve as further proof that Gilgamesh has been suffering for the past few days.]

I have returned to you, as requested.

[It's hard to resist the pull of the enchanted gem; to Gilgamesh, in his state, it's effectively a snack. But he refrains.]

I return in victory. As you've undoubtedly seen, Ryba has been vanquished.

[it takes so much time, on rin's frail nerves, that she begins to worry about whether she should have decided to head out to find him, instead. but more often than not, servants are faster, and he plops next to her just when the anxiety reaches its sharp peak, sending numbing relief through her.

rin is silent, shortly after he arrives. it doesn't suit her, even if she was distracted. it isn't that she's not moving; quick and nimble, there are the gentle sounds of grains of sand scuffing against a hard surface, and rin's fingers slipping over the gem, picking it up and putting it somewhere.

the instant he might believe it's strange, the light weight of a body is half on top of him. she delivers a command that's a single word, slightly mumbled, enunciating it as best she can and drawing out the syllables so he could never refuse her.]

O—pen.

[without anything else, rin presses her mouth to his, and between them, nudging against the part of his lips, is his "snack"—the gem.]

Edited (repetition) 2016-06-06 02:06 (UTC)

[He obeys without a second thought, without ever realizing it; or if he does, it comes far too late.

Even if his exhaustion did not give his dreary mood away, his immediate reaction here does. A Gilgamesh in his right mind would take this as blatant invitation, and so pursue her, shove her down and make his claim. As it stands, he's alarmed. Frightened, as a man of his status could ever be. Scared of intimacy and scared of the abandonment that will inevitably follow. No, he doesn't want this, even if once he very much did.

Nonetheless, he holds still. He accepts the "kiss" that isn't quite. And ultimately instinct takes over. More so than Rin herself, the scent of the gem, of raw magic appeals. He snaps his teeth and swallows it whole like it were just another piece of food. Of course, he doesn't chew. It's absorbed near instantly and he feels peppier as a result.

And now he's been left with Rin on top of him. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know if he should do anything at all. He shakes a little, uncertain as to whether or not he should bring her closer or shove her away. But maybe it's better he keeps someone close, so that he doesn't drift too far away from everyone else.

Surely, this is Gilgamesh in defeat. If she wants to have him, so be it. He lacks the defenses to fight her any longer.]

[it was never about that.

rin pulls back eventually, likely around the moment he begins shaking because she's no fan of torturing an obviously rattled man, scowling but he could receive the feeling her irritation is directed less at him and more at whatever circumstances placed him in such a sorry state. whatever she says on the surface, she knows deep down only some things are really under a servant's control.

as a result, she shifts off of gilgamesh easily. it was all a practical measure, to supply him with mana so he didn't fade and at the same time sweetening the delivery with the spike a kiss would provide. plus, what gilgamesh in his right mind was going to deny a smooch?

what a joke. that was barely a kiss.

rin sits beside him while she wipes her mouth, close enough for her bare thigh to brush him (she's in beachwear, a simple wrap around her waist), but she ignores that contact as though it doesn't exist. accept her comfort and don't make fun of her, gilgamesh.]

What's happened to you...? Tell me all of it. I deserve to know. [there's the brisk opening of a pause as she stares across the expanse of ocean in front of her.] You aren't leaving until we solve this.

It is punishment.

[After or moment or so of eyes flickering frantically back and forth, Gilgamesh settles coldly upon this truth. Becomes more like the Gilgamesh Rin knows, or at least used to know, looking upon the world with a callous gaze. He turns to the sea and talks more to himself than to her, rambling out loud in a distant sort of mutter.]

I have strayed... I have grown too soft in my stay here. Surely it is a curse of some kind, perhaps inflicted by insufferable gods, that I should have both of them taken from me at once. It is woeful, and regrettable, but nonetheless a fate I have sewn for myself. And so, I can blame no one but myself.

[Gilgamesh regains enough awareness to remember he isn't alone, so he tilts his head back towards Rin and adds:]

And what can you solve? What is it you truly deserve? Nothing. You are simply a girl who meddles beyond her place.

[However, that does raise the question of why he's here... and why he even reached out to her to begin with, especially considering Gilgamesh never acts without reason.]

[yeah, it does raise that question. rin never has any doubts about her actions even if he entertains them, and so it's her fiery self-reliance that earns him a pointed glare for his comments about her.]

You'll stop saying things like that immediately, about me, or I'll slap you.

[woo, scary. but she can link the dots together and figure out roughly what he's talking about.]

So you lost Pearl, your Master, as one. Who's the other? Save me the "woe is me" sniveling.

[she's not devaluing his losses; rather, she reminds him he's strong.]

My brother has also been lost.

[There's only one person Gilgamesh would ever refer to in such a way. With this truth in hand, it becomes obvious why he's so forlorn.]

Gilgamesh...

[that would explain everything. gilgamesh, magnificent king of heroes, would only refer to one soul as his beloved brother. and although rin hadn't spoken to him or known of him in his time as a heroic spirit with alastair—

it's enkidu. there's no mistaking that.

without her noticing it, an indescribably compassionate expression falls over rin's features. sympathy shimmers in her eyes. she touches fingers to his arm.]

You're mourning. How will you last without a Master?

[This time, the contact is better received. Gilgamesh sags beneath it, almost seems to melt in place. He has no defenses here; if she wished, she could cut into him for every wrong ever committed against her, and he would offer nothing in the way of argument. He would let tear into him as he has been utterly torn apart already.

His eyes are so exhausted resting upon her own, yet they do not waver now.]

Blood or bodies. Those are the only choices available to me, in the absence of draining the soul directly.

[He shakes his head. He sighs.]

But I've no wish for any of that. Not even the pleasures of the flesh might interest me any longer.

[she curls up her legs beneath her and nudges herself towards him while she's kneeling, allowing her fingers to skim along his arm until she's resting them over his wrist. rin doesn't ask for him to hold her hand in his, but to let her linger where she is, feeling his warmth and the magical pulse point of energy that might slow sooner than she hopes.]

... No, they aren't the only choices...

[her gaze drops, however, and she doesn't elaborate any further.]

Are you this lost, yourself, that you cannot see reason to hope again?

[Gilgamesh's wrist turns over, extends outward—and it is revealed that he continues to wear Rin's ribbon, even after all this time.]

Am I lost? No. To the contrary, my path has become clearer than ever. I have remembered what it is I must do... what I must always do, in service of my station. And what will happen should I wander once more from the proper path.

[What a laughable idea that he can even forget anything. It's more like he'd opted to willfully ignore what had been beating in his chest since the beginning, and so paid the price for it. Even if he looks sorrowful, he will continue on. The individual known as "Gilgamesh" shall remain, as he will until the end of time.

Rin's implication has not gone unheeded, however. He turns a curious eye to her.]

What else would you suggest?

[Because it's obvious to him, even in this state, what she'd intended to say.]

[what's obvious? she stays quiet, and she doesn't bother to answer his question. instead, her attention is drawn by the ribbon, her fingers floating across his skin to brush against the familiar material. for some reason, now it's as if it feels foreign—but it's still a part of her.

she has given him her magical energy. from the beginning, she remembers. would it really be that different if she...? no. she can't say that, yet. it isn't the right time. he wouldn't listen to her.

a nebulous understanding passes between them that he isn't going to charge off and get himself murdered, though, so rin considers that a relief.]

What is your role, Gilgamesh?

[archer has one, as a servant. she's beginning to trust that the great gilgamesh is also an example of these "honored" agents of their world, or the universe itself and beyond, the root.

she doesn't question it because she knows roles are quite serious things. she hasn't thrown hers away even after talking to uruz. maybe she never will.

but that doesn't mean her life hasn't changed, here. with alastair, with him.]

Humanity.

[What more could be said? To look after them, to see to their success, to support their endeavors and to condemn them as necessary—that single word defined his entire existence, who he was, how he functioned. He doesn't explain beyond that, because she wouldn't understand anyway, but his eyes are so striking now and seem to relay the rest: they are mine, I am theirs, so it shall be forever.

In this regard, he's similar to her own Archer. Stubborn as anything, a guardian to a power much higher than himself, though in this case Gilgamesh is that power. Chaos and order. Overwhelming law and peerless rule. A King of Kings, the highest of Heroes. And yet here he sits with her, as low as anything, and mutters as if he's something to be ashamed of.

Well, he thinks, no use in dawdling any more.]

You would help me, then.

[Gilgamesh rephrases it as a command rather than a request to preserve his pride. His dignity.]

I cannot call you Master... but I can aid you in return.

[she may not understand all the intricacies of it that he does, that's true, but rin grasps enough anyway, through the ruby sheen of his eyes. this only makes her response easier to submit, however.

her hand sinks to his, palm against palm. her fingers would curl between his if permitted.]

Humanity will ever exist. So there will always be a need for Gilgamesh. But it isn't right if you can't have a life of your own in the form you're in now, and enjoy all the pleasures of living.

[surprisingly, she's smiling. as perhaps just rin herself can, she ventures a few fingers forward to playfully tap his arm. even if it's a command, she would deny it, depending on what it is.]

I won't give of myself to a Servant who has given up.

[There's no reason not to allow it. He can put up a facade all he likes, but as she's already seen through it, it would only be out of petulance at this point... and even Gilgamesh can tire of that when he's this ragged. He nods, almost dumbly, to something he barely even hears, and squeezes at that hand. He's still alive. He hasn't given up. That's what he means to say but can't quite find the words for.]

I hereby submit myself to your service.

[It is, effectively, an admission of defeat. She can have him, for whatever he has left to give.]

Keep me living and breathing, so that I may continue to carry out my purpose. In return, I will follow your directives.

[so it's like another contract between a servant and a master, is it? if only through spoken word. rin blinks at him for the oath, but it doesn't appear to be anything all that distasteful for her to accept. instead, she clarifies:]

You would have me guide you.

[is that it? he would be hers, and another servant sheep would enter the master's fold.]

I do not require guidance.

[Just so they're clear on that.]

I require a means of sustenance. Consider yourself an anchor, if you must, but do not assume me some bumbling child in need of a firm hand.

[way to go erasing that smile, gilgamesh. rin's face turns sour, and it may be childish but she doesn't care, pushing his arm with her free hand almost in punishment.]

You want me to be food—!

[she's so offended. granted, he might not mean literally "food", but equating a magus to sustenance sends a pretty clear message. her soul, her blood, her body. he doesn't know about her transfer spell yet (right?), so she can't be certain what he intends to say with this.]

It's a little much to assume I'll sleep with a Servant who doesn't even want it, everyday...! Or I'll cut my wrist and let you lap at the wound. You know the way things are now, we can't form a contract! What are you getting at? How should I keep you "living and breathing", you cruel oaf?

[the insults are only because she loves him, she promises.]

I do not know.

[Which essentially confirms, no, he's ignorant of any greater capabilities. However...]

But I do know you to be sharp enough to come up with something that would suit us both.

[...arguably he manages to guess at it anyway, through the strength of his belief. And there's real praise, lurking in those words, that he would compliment her wisdom before her beauty. Her father may have been the lowest of trash, but even Gilgamesh cannot deny the Tohsaka ingenious that ran strong in the family blood.

He looks to her with hope. Hope for a hopeless man. A sliver of respect, which he offers to this woman, as he all but debases himself in his own eyes.]

[it works. the praise has an impact. she's struck by the true insinuation lying in his words, of course, and it leaves her blushing and shy, stroking over his arm where she'd rudely pushed him.]

Um—

[rin ducks her head. there's no covering for it, now.]

Just as you say, with so many Servants around, it was a while back that I asked ALASTAIR for a spell to remotely channel my mana to a Heroic Spirit. It's designed to keep you going in the absence of a Master. B-But...

[how embarrassing.]

It's like if I transferred part of my Crest to another magus. I can only do it if you're intimate with me... probably.

[This is a matter of survival. Put in those terms, Gilgamesh can set aside his own grievances with it—namely, he's not at all in the mood to be intimate with anyone, to any degree—and focus on what's important. However, he does remember why Rin may hesitate in these circumstances. He hadn't forgotten the incident under the mistletoe.

And while he may never apologize for it, he has made strides since to imply it likely won't happen again. At least not to those who have earned his favor.]

I respect your body. I respect your will. I respect your consent.

[It is, in essence, reassurance that he will not push and shove to get what he wants. Or rather, what he needs.]

It is my cordial request to receive this "Crest" from you, by any means you are willing and able to provide.

[she isn't actually thinking of the incident with the mistletoe, or any other time when gilgamesh was with her that he implied he could do whatever he wanted to her (though maybe she should be). rin's worries are immediate, honest, and true to a young woman who's still very new to this sort of thing, just as she confessed to him once. her fingers trembling, she turns her head—but he'll note she keeps their hands linked—complaining to the sand.]

Here...?

Edited (added a word) 2016-06-19 03:28 (UTC)

[In any other moment, at any other time, Gilgamesh may have been lecherous. He may have cooed to her that of course here was fine, that she'd enjoy herself regardless of venue; he may have touched her face, he may have run fingers through her hair, he may have whispered in her ear to hush her. He may have done many things, then, but now, he just looks at her with utter placidity. One might even confuse it for a docile state if they didn't know better.]

I would take you back to cozier quarters, if you prefer.

[It was a little isolated. Freer of the usual comforts for this sort of practice, not that he really minded. Though he probably should clarify what that even meant.]

What degree of intimacy does this require? A kiss, or...?

[truth be told, rin's little corner of the beach is distant from just about everything save the comforting rush of water, sand, and more sand. they are alone out here. they won't be disturbed. a tarp held up with a frame shields them from view and magical lighting makes even the waning sun's light not a problem.

swallowing as if to summon her strength, rin unties the sash at her waist before she climbs on him without asking, in her bikini.

still, her eyes don't meet his. but she straddles him in the same way she did with archer only a short time ago. here is fine.]

To be in tune with each other is enough. My body's rhythm, and yours.

[which means there needs to be a lot more skin to skin contact.]

[There's being unwell and then there's just being himself, and ultimately even in his duress Gilgamesh can't quite refuse an attractive young woman endearing herself to him—especially if that young woman happens to be Rin, who he's had eyes on for some time now. It would be foolish to deny that some buried part of him wanted this, though the timing could've been better.

But again, this wasn't an act of pleasure. It was an act of urgency. He will do what needs to be done, no more and no less. Gilgamesh eases beneath the pressure of her weight, however light it proves, and does what he can to make her comfortable.]

I see. Very well, then.

[Gilgamesh focuses, and the majority of his clothing melts away, leaving in him just a satin wrap about his waist. The rest of him lies exposed, tattoos and ancient markings and all; if skin was required, skin she would have. Although he strives not to make it awkward, offering his palm extended outward to her.]

Here. Take it.

[A good first step, right? Besides, Archer would destroy him if he abused the privilege here. Not something to look forward to.]

[it's so ridiculous that even with a servant's ability to manifest and dismiss clothing at will, rin raises an eyebrow at him slightly—this is how he undresses for her. but she's distracted by his exposed skin; of course, as a hero, his form is unnaturally perfect. and she's not lifeless, she's enticed by the hard muscle beneath her.

tentatively, rin rests her hand in his anew and brings up her eyes to flutter at his, scooting forward as her thighs somewhat bump away the corners of the wrap. she settles directly on him, then. she sits on his lap and their hips are almost joined. like this, rin confronts him.]

If we do this, I'm going to be very weak afterwards. You may have to carry me. Archer will also feel the strain. Do you still want me to do this?

[It's quickly become apparent to Gilgamesh that this was a situation that needed to be handled with utmost care. And, because he has classified it as a necessity rather than an indulgence, he's able to lend it the focus it requires. He remains very still beneath Rin, careful not to shuffle or otherwise jostle her in an unpleasant way.

In an almost ceremonial gesture, Gilgamesh raises their joined fingers, resting his forehead against them. His eyes, while far from shy, are purposely lowered, and his tone kept low. He is making a blatant show of courtesy to her, as his prospective partner. A silent vow that she will not be hurt, as he has often extended to her Archer to settle him. It is all the more important to offer this person, who has been done such harm at his hands.]

I shall look after you, as you look after me.

[It is as firm and resounding a yes as he can provide.]

F-Fine...

[nervously, she raises her chin, steadying her position on top of him as though she really wants to be there—as though it fits, and it's natural. he called her queen, once. he'll see that resolve reflected again in her.

it is difficult to deny the importance of him bowing to her. he's done it so much lately, hasn't he? he's become gentle and agreeable in her presence, even if he's still insufferable when he desires to be. she knows she's inexperienced, and that's probably why almost any sweet words uttered by a man will make her heart lift. gilgamesh, especially, is an expert. so it's okay that it works, it's all right that she's falling for his efforts...

it is enough to give him the chance to prove himself. it always was, even before this meeting started.

a queen must declare her decree.]

If you... go for that, I think I'll lose my concentration, and it will last a really long time...

[he understands what she's saying, doesn't he? it's embarrassing for her to admit, but for gilgamesh—a servant of hers—she won't screw this up. nothing too scandalous will be happening out here, but there remains the matter of her nerves to take care of.]

We just have to be very connected.

[why is this so frustrating?]

Y-You... You know how to butter someone up, right? Just do it! —Uh, you have my permission for whatever it takes.

[she's asking him to lead.]

[What an unfortunate request. Perhaps it was too much to hope for that Rin's bark would match her bite. Leading isn't a problem, not for someone of Gilgamesh's caliber, but he's... he isn't not into this, not after more consideration, but getting warmed up will take time, so to speak. He's been avoiding contact for several days now for a reason, so the idea of throwing himself into a very intimate variety of it does gnaw at him a little.

But Rin has invested trust in him, and that's important. If he disappointed her here, it's likely she'd never quite forgive him. After all, she's exposing herself. For a Tohsaka, apparently, that was quite a big deal. So he doesn't laugh at her, or poke fun. And when she says just do it... well, he does it.

Before reaching for her face, her chest, anywhere else, he reaches for her hair. He undoes the ribbons to let the waves fall free over her shoulder, long and thick.]

Look at you.

[His hands slip then, to her chin, to hold it high.]

Smile for me. Be proud, for there is much to be proud of. Who but you could hold my reins here?

[Buttering up: check. Ego stroking: double check. But it's not all false flattery. Gilgamesh had seen for himself that Rin was a seriously talented magus, and he was attracted to that. She was powerful, down to her very blood. He almost envies Archer, because if he hadn't been here, he would've snapped her for sure as a Master.]

Who but you would show such kindness, such compassion? I need not lead you; you can simply walk with me, instead. I will allow it.

[And so he plants a single kiss, just above her brow. It tingles.]

[it's a very big deal. untying her ribbons is still taking down some of her defenses, and if he has the sense that no one else would really see rin like this unless they were bathing or sleeping with her—hair completely free, dark waves running over her shoulders—he would be correct.

perhaps it's no surprise, then, that he doesn't receive his smile. she's not so easily directed. —no, it's more that it's impossible for her to curl up the corners of her mouth, even to pretend, right now. the heat in her skin and the rosy color of it prove she's happy; how she remains motionless, lording over him, proves she's proud.

who else but you could hold my reins here?

she wonders if he means it, and that just makes everything a little more right. rin can't be sure what she's thinking when she does it—her head is filled with "kindness" and "compassion" swirling around. she frowns at his teasing kiss and lunges in for a better one, lips smashed to lips.

... in the process, she practically bowls them both over, but it's the sentiment that counts. the kiss is every bit as awkward and fresh as rin herself, clumsy like she's only kissed one person in her life so far (and she pretty much has, that lucky bastard who left).]

[He's about to interrupt, to ask what's wrong, but then Rin rushes forward and he's forced to respond in some way—if only in surprise, at first, because he hadn't expected her to launch into something quite so intimate quite so soon. Of course, he should've known better. She'd "fed" him with the same, seemingly fearless strategy, and thus had proven she was a girl dedicated to doing whatever it is she wanted to do. Embarrassment or humiliation appeared to play no part, so long as her heart was set on it.

Rin had trusted him to lead, and he leads. He grasps for a better hold on her shoulders, to keep her steady, and slows the kiss down. Not that he minds it fast, but she'll have more time to adjust at an easier pace, more time to find her own rhythm with more space between the pushing and pressing of their lips and tongues. He alternates between her mouth and her neck, which he nips at with the blunter edge of his teeth. It won't hurt, but she'll know he's been there, just as the imperious King prefers. She won't bruise, but she will feel the remnants of him lingering, of his unique warmth as a Servant.

Meanwhile, he shifts their positions a little, moving one hand to support her back and the other to rest at her hip. Her thighs have always been the most enticing aspect of her body to him, and he rubs there, trailing the ends of his nails along her skin to just where it ends at her bikini line. Hopefully it's a fair combination of stimulating without being too scandalous, which would lead them both into trouble.]

[he's right. nothing will hold her back, and even her worries are forced to fade into the background as she commits herself to branding gilgamesh with her seal. it's all a remarkably new process because she doesn't know exactly how this spell will turn out, or if it will fail. she has to have gilgamesh guide her in the heat of the moment, but sooner or later he'll realize she continues to overreach.

she really doesn't find her own pace as much as she tags along with his, attempting at what a good kiss should be or what she guesses he would like. predictably, it's not very pretty—but it's probably not without its unique charm, too. she makes a small noise in her throat every time he winds his tongue around hers, and it's almost impossible not to read it as her protesting at the intrusion with her typical huffiness, seconds before she reciprocates.

it's worse when he marks her neck—if not physically, with bold bruises blooming on her skin, then just with the hint of ownership. rin would slap him for the gall, but instead she gasps. her breath hitches. she moans. whatever it is, she doesn't hit him.

honestly, it's a little too much to bear even if he tries to avoid overstimulating her. she wriggles her hips, silently asking him to dial it down. it appears she's more sensitive than he expected?]

St-Stop...

[rin follows it up with yet another kiss, and this one is honeyed with greater magic. it won't be so difficult to figure out that she's dosing him with a heavy aphrodisiac, which also won't be wonderful if she allows it to go too far, but it's all to heighten their bond. he will likely feel as though he's being filled with warmth, and her inept kisses are suddenly irresistible.]

Edited (repetition) 2016-07-05 04:55 (UTC)

[None of her inexperience bothers him. It's cute, as to be expected of a virgin, and he rolls along with it with ease; at least one of them has to. He has to try not to laugh, too, at her earnest efforts, which endear her to him. She will feel a slight smile against her now, and if she looks she will see the light of amusement in his eyes, half-open, half-shut. No, Gilgamesh doesn't judge her here. He might even be envious of Archer, in these moments, for all the intimacy they must have shared. How freely, he thinks, they must be with one another behind closed doors.

But there's a snag. She stutters stop, and it halts him. Was he hurting her? Did she not want this any longer? Like a runaway train, it's hard to leash in his libido once it gets going, but he has absolutely no interest in bringing harm to Rin. Especially sexual harm, which her Servant would never, ever forgive him for. He makes to draw back and to offer some alternative, but then Rin plows on ahead and inflicts him with... something.

Something's making his mind go hazy. Is she drugging me? What a bold sort of brat. However, he can't deny that it helps. It dissolves much of any reluctance that remains and pushes him to push against her all the stronger. He asserts himself over her, grabbing her by the waist and forcing her flat with how he leans in and steals many, many more kisses from her, more powerful than before. Even so, Gilgamesh retains his legendary will, and mutters beside her ear:]

You must do it soon.

[For reasons that are quickly becoming obvious. He's only a man, in the end, being seduced by a very attractive woman. The predictable will result.]

[she has to be prepared for it, when she resigns to the casting of the spell... and she is. servants are simple creatures. because they're made of magic, they'll respond intensely to magical energy designed solely to lure them close. in many ways, this is another case of rin dabbling with risks to earn the reward.

he reacts as expected. it's perfect. to say he reacts as she expects, though, is to tempt the more aggressive, passionate lover gilgamesh immediately becomes underneath her. he bucks. he moves. she rocks on top of him, being pulled flat against him unable to fight it, and she takes the barrage of kisses. gilgamesh warns her. he doesn't need to do anything else; diving into this as she had, she knew she was playing with fire to an extent—and with the servant she least should.

it's ridiculous of her, but her heart swells with something soothing and satisfying. once again, it appears her plan will be successful. she allows herself to sink into one last kiss, and her hand presses boldly into his chest, fingers gripping his pectoral muscles, situated directly over the center of his core: where his heart would be. and the second her palm touches his flesh, a fiery, electrifying connection opens up; raw tohsaka mana rushes forth, a voice demands a contract of sorts be established, the broad curve of a circle not fully closed singes his skin like a burning iron. what's inside her pours into him, overflowing.

and gilgamesh is hooked to a tohsaka for the second time.

she falls limp in his arms, nearly fainting.]

[Maybe it's a mistake for both of them. Maybe this wasn't meant to be. Maybe they shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be together, shouldn't so much as speak to one another, but it's far too late for that now. Gilgamesh may yet walk away from it all with a new respect for Rin, who threw herself at a wolf and endured its fangs while sinking in sharp teeth of her own. She may be very foolish, but she is also very brave, and Gilgamesh can appreciate that.

He's not sure if he appreciates the branding so much. It's pleasant, perhaps overly so with the rush of mana that follows and invigorates him, but it's also overwhelming, and it also burns. A connection that shouldn't exist has been forced upon him, and it takes his mind and his muscles several moments to adjust. Pupils blown, for an instant it would be terrifying to look upon him, as he's no different from a wild animal being tempted with particularly enticing bait.

Eventually, his mood does settle, and he becomes cognizant of the fact Rin requires his attention. He shakes her some...]

Rin?

[...and when that doesn't seem to work, he offers his own mana back in the form of a healing spell that will calm and soothe. He can repay favors, on occasion.]

[or maybe it just feels right.

that's what rin is overcome with, a thought like that, when her eyes gently flutter open and she stares up at a gilgamesh who's whole, again. if he's not completely supplied, he's much better off than before. and, to herself, she muses that the look of being alive and alert suits a king like him far more than moping ever could.

that's not to reject his moping as misguided, or to force herself to believe he will never become saddened by his losses in the future.

but he has her, now.

she smiles—a warm, incredibly intimate smile that he can imagine only archer would see, if anyone—and it's as though she's waking from a nap in the morning. she places her hands on his face, caressing him with her fingers.]

... I'm fine.

[she's red, disheveled, and a little too hot. her lips are still shiny with a hint of saliva. she reassures him, however, and with a single glance it would be obvious she is well—healthy, if exhausted from the unexpected labor.]

If I couldn't do something to save you, too, I really couldn't live with myself. I'm... happy. Don't you realize, Gilgamesh...?

You've let someone else in.

[with all that entails—this isn't just his word anymore, but a physical bond.

one of her hands glides almost instinctively over his chest, where her command seal lingers. this, he'll recall, was entirely his will.]

Did it work okay? You aren't... in pain or anything, right?

[she seems too elated to admit failure. of course, the casting of the spell itself was magnificent.]

[What's right, what's wrong, what's up, what's down... truthfully, Gilgamesh isn't too sure of anything anymore.

But he's at least able to determine that Rin had made it through the process alright. Was I worried? Still proud, even in moments such as these, Gilgamesh dismisses the thought and moves to a more comfortable position for them both. He props her on his lap again and smooths out invisible wrinkles in her hair. It's actually closer to preening than a nervous tic, looking after a mate, tending to their needs after strenuous activity. She says she's fine so he takes her at her word; if she truly was unwell, he's sure she'd let him know.]

There was a bit of a sting, but I believe that to be blamed on the nature of the spell than your own prowess, or lack thereof.

[Technically, Rin had bent the rules of an ordinary contract for this to happen, so a few mishaps were expected. All things considered, though, she'd done a marvelous job, and he can't say he isn't warmed in some small way by her concern. He doesn't answer her claim of you've let someone else in, but he does squeeze at her hand in such an affectionate manner that suggests it may very well be true.]

Regardless, we should see you to a proper bed. If you are winded, sand makes for a rather poor pillow.

[He extends his arms to her, and he looks... peaceful. Imagine that.]

I would return you to the residence, and watch over you, until proper rest might claim you.

[she continues smiling, and even as he sets her up properly on his lap, she never really stops. it's unusual for rin—to be this purely, blissfully happy—but it's genuine. she's all soft looks and slow, relaxed breathing sitting there on top of him; when he reaches out to her with his arms, she finally removes her hands from his body to humor him, threading their fingers together. she's quiet, and she appears in no hurry to actually disturb the solitude they have here.

this isn't without reason.

utterly unbidden, tears pool up in rin's eyes and she dearly requests of him, gazing straight at him,]

Gilgamesh. Become my Servant.

[if he supposes this is just a spur-of-the-moment thing, and she hasn't given any thought to it, he would be wrong. of course, she can sometimes be too compassionate at times like these. (archer could tell him about how she pleaded with him at the end of her holy grail war, seemingly against her own character, to form another contract with her.) there is no denying that the new bond between them played a role in urging her to confront him. but, that voice? that proud, confident glimmer in her eyes? the clear tears streaming down her cheeks?

it took more than a few minutes to inspire this decision of hers. rather, he could say it was everything that came before—from his rescue of her during koltira's attack, to their meeting in her bedroom, to the baths in nalawi and the servant who protected her in the wake of that volcanic eruption, and on the abandoned island.

she speaks, and it would be recognizable this is rin as both a magus and a girl, someone who does not suggest a true contract lightly. her wish is selfish. gilgamesh's pain is, perhaps, too raw. but she can no longer contain it. she wants to let him know. she wants to comfort him, in a way that will last.]

No one else could do it, with both the experience and the magical energy. No one could provide for you as a Master like I can. You said it yourself! You told me no one else but me could do it. We work so well together. I want to be there for you.

[she can grant him kindness and compassion, but rin would believe that's so unconditional she doesn't mention it.

it's not just about her inheritance, though this may not be something she'd even propose to saber at this point. it's about how she feels, and what she's experienced for herself.]

I... I could talk to ALASTAIR...! I'm sure they could work something out where I can take on two Servants! I know it! All I would have to do is ask—! It's... It's just right. Please, say you'll be my Servant!

[her fingers, squeezing around his, tighten.]

[I am at fault, Gilgamesh thinks to himself, as all this is going on; I am the one who told that man to kill your father. But even if were to confess it, would it even matter anymore? She's so determined, so driven towards this one path that no, he understands at once, this decision did not come quickly or easily. Those tears were shed for his sake, that smiled meant for him and only him. And no amount of argument was likely to deter her from such a decision, though he's inclined to try. He squeezes around her fingers, and smiles back, but it is bittersweet at best. Sad, as he acknowledges the worst parts of himself aloud.]

I am the great tyrant, spoke of in legend, feared throughout the ages. I have warred with lesser folk; I have killed them, I have slaughtered them. I have violated women, brought them children I did not care for. I harassed and harangued my own people and lived a life of decadence as my kingdom crumbled. My heart is cold, and does not bear true love for anyone. It will never bear love for anyone ever again, not as it once did.

[She's so happy, but what can he even say to that? He wants for her, but what did that even mean? He wanted for Saber, yet she loathed him all the same. He can want and want until he tires of it, but the greatest treasures were those that never allowed themselves to be captured. For Rin to hand herself over like this, it's... well, it's jarring, and certainly unexpected.

She's happy, and she's beautiful, and he hates it. He could learn to love a face like that, despite what he said.]

If you are to master me, you must accept all those parts of me. I cannot help but think you would be a better match for another King here, a kinder King.

[A gentler King. For what would a compassionate Master want with a Servant who had none?]

[it was never about equaling her servant. if he required proof, he didn't have to look further than her contract with archer. opposites bring out the best in each other, don't they? what one lacks, the other provides.

it's the goal of a partnership.

for that matter, if he thinks he has captured her—that he will ever capture her—he has another surprise waiting for him. not even archer has managed this. likely, with her spirit, he might imagine no man ever will.

she listens to his transgressions and she doesn't blink so much as an eye. she's still smiling. doesn't he see? archer is an explicitly terrible servant, one people would also condemn for being drenched in blood and crimes against humanity, but she has accepted him. she has accepted servants girls like her should be scared to accept, no?

at first, rin simply proclaims,]

You're Gilgamesh.

[the good and the bad. the abhorrent and the wonderful. right now, it doesn't suit her to ask him why he doubts her; the situation is serious. he knows she's sincere, she feels—that her declaration is her law. if he wants to ensure she's ready to take the plunge, she just has to prove her dedication more.

she leans up close to him, straddling him like she would archer. there's nothing romantic or sensual about it. it's almost playful.]

Don't you know? I already accept them.

Heed my words. My will creates your body, and your sword creates my destiny...

[If he had something like a heart, it might break to hear you're Gilgamesh. Even if he paid no mind to the opinions of others, even if he never wanted to understand them to begin with, to be understood in turn... or rather, that someone would even try, no matter how impossible a task it would prove... it stirs him. It encourages him. He rails against believing in anybody again, especially so soon after losing his last Master, but maybe—]

Shh.

[Gilgamesh hushes her with fingers to her lips. His brows appear to strain on his face; he's fighting himself. But ultimately, he's too drawn in by her to refuse. She's too close and she's too insistent and he's too tired to put up much of a struggle. Even so, he'd embrace this on his own terms. Surely she'd guessed as much already.]

This is a temporary situation with a temporary solution to a temporary problem. So, temporarily...

[Gilgamesh heaves a sigh. This is going to come back to bite him in the ass, he just knows it.]

You may call yourself my Master. And so I will be your Servant, as you desire, until the time comes I can secure a more lasting contract.

[So it's a yes. Finally.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[closed] heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why.

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i'm sorry, i honestly didn't expect this to happen

smh...

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okay maybe i lied, a little bit more

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