epidemiology | Pirates vs Ninjas!!

Entry tags:

Pirates vs Ninjas!!

CHARACTERS: Sai & Sanji
DATE: 10/13ish?? What are timelines but sure, around then.
WARNINGS: I mean... it's Sanji and his mouth and Sai and his tendency to murder things, so....
SUMMARY: Well you see, when one shonen likes another shonen very much....... they accidentally run into each other and complete a bounty.

[At first, Sanji didn't really give a shit about what was going on with the Quoral and the mining. After all, Perdition's Rest was charming, the women were lovely, and the alcohol kept on flowing. He'd been content to stay still for a little while, to keep an eye on Luffy and keep spoiling Nami and Olivia and any other woman he'd laid eyes on in the last few days.

But then, the earthquake. The ground caved in, he'd helped drag a few people to safety, kept a few machines from completely collapsing, and he'd suddenly found himself at least a little interested in what the hell was going on in this weird cowboy land.

Which is what brought him out to the mines. What had him sneaking in through a gap he'd made in the rubble keeping them closed after the earthquake. It wasn't hard to find, what with the information ALASTAIR had given everyone about the holowhatsits they were supposed to be finding, so Sanji can make quick work of making his way down the semi-collapsed tunnels.

A few hours into the trek, and he finally stops picking his way through the gloom of the mines, pausing in his walking to unfold a piece of paper and mark down a rough draft of his progress (ah, if only Nami-san was here~ this entire mine would have been mapped out perfectly!).

As soon as that's done, he holds up the lighter he's been using to pick his way around the rocks and such in his path. It's not a lot of light, but Haki fills in the rest, keeps his mind looking a few seconds ahead, picking up residual energy in the mines around him... and keeping hazy tabs on the strange presence he's felt since he got here. The presence he's been annoyingly aware of for the last few hours. Honestly, he's put this off for way too goddamn long.]

Oi. [He cups a hand around his mouth as he calls out to that not-quite-solid presence, setting his backpack down on the floor and narrowing his eyes at the darkness around him.] How about we stop sneaking around each other and have some lunch?

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[Honestly, Sai doesn't give much of a shit about anything happening on this planet, but a mission is a mission, and he needs to do what ALISTAIR wants in order to get home someday, so he's getting involved in things to some extent or another.

He uh, came into the fields to wreck the machines like that one person on the network suggested, but he wasn't completely unhelpful. He barely has vague glimpses into the reasonings of everyone so strongly opposed to simply letting the Qorral die, but some did have potentially valid practical considerations for making some manner of effort.

Even so, "bounties" like this are far more up his alley. Sai knows well how to retrieve information, follow orders, complete mission objectives.

So he happens to find his way into the mines as well. Or rather, sends an ink clone into the maze, along with a significant number of ink rats and ants that may also have popped up on Sanji's Haki-radar, dozens of little pinpricks of light, the trace amounts of Sai's chakra active within them.

When Sanji calls out, the clone reveals itself in front of the chef, wearing a similarly blank expression to the one from the train. Mild, disaffected.]

That will not be necessary.

[Ink clones can't eat, after all.]

[Sanji frowns as Sai comes into view, some little part of his mind bristling at the strange not-presence in front of him. Curious, he closes the eye hidden behind his bangs, watching as the trickle of haki that normally outlines a person's silhouette seems to flicker, to be a bit fuzzy around the edges. As if the kid in front of him isn't all there.

... outwardly, Sanji can't help the little shiver that runs through him, or the way his face screws up momentarily. Creepy.]

The hell it's not. Don't you know not to turn down food when a chef offers? Get over here before I have to force this down your throat myself.

[Because threatening someone to get closer and eat is completely, 100% normal. Yes.]

[Sai registers the reaction, of course, but he can't quite place it. The man is far less animated than he was on the train, but perhaps that is because he is here to fulfill this bounty as well?]

That will be a bit difficult, unfortunately. But you are welcome to try.

[Is this Sai's idea of a joke? Maybe.]

[Oh, just you wait, Sai. Just you wait. The first sign of some cool ninja thing and Sanji will be lost.

For now, though, he's more focused on the situation at hand. In the semi-collapsing mines around him and the bounty that piqued his interest. After all, someone from their ragtag crew had to be responsible. Ah-- other than Nami-san, of course! But she shouldn't be forced to go somewhere as dangerous as this.]

Oi, oi. Don't look down on me just because I'm not a ninja. [And therefore not AMAZINGLY BADASS by default... god... damnit...

Still, Sanji rolls his eyes and goes to his pack, digging out one of the containers of food he'd prepared and glancing back to where this strange, half-there figure was in the dark. Honestly, he's going to start getting a headache for what his haki is doing right now.] Still not gonna come closer?

[He may or may not be making sure the container is secure enough that the food within can withstand a thorough jostling... don't mind him...]

[Not what he meant, but he lets Sanji have his huffing and puffing nonetheless. It kind of reminds him of Naruto in a strange way, but then, he's one of Luffy's friends, so perhaps that's not so strange.]

I can, if you wish.

[He almost looks like he might be smirking. Almost. But he does step forward, closer to the chef. Surprisingly, he looks exactly like the kid Sanji would've met on the train, and who Luffy invited to stay in the pirates' room at the saloon.]

But you should know, this isn't my real body, so eating will be impossible.

[:')]

[Not nearly as surprising as it should have been. Even if the energy he'd been picking up from the kid had been weird and not all there, it was still unmistakably Sai's.

Two years running and hiding. Two years spent in hell. Being able to sense when the okama were close, to see which ones were close had been Sanji's greatest defense on that godforsaken island.]

Not your real-- OOOH! [Ah, there it is. The sudden yelling, the excited, overdramatic pointing.] That's a jutsu? You're in a jutsu right now? Is it like a clone? An illusion? Is it actually a log?!

[Welp. There goes the more serious air the chef had.]

An ink clone, yes. It seemed foolish to enter the caves myself.

[Seriousness is a fleeting thing for these pirates, Sai. You'll get used to it eventually!]

Ah! [Sanji suddenly straightens up, hitting the bottom of one fist gently into the open palm of his other hand.] That explains it.

[Not that he's going to say what it just happens to be. Still, that really does explain the weird shit he's picking up through his haki. The way his senses are keeping him on edge with Sai to the point where it's almost exhausting.

Still, at this newest revelation, he can't help but come a bit closer, looking over the ninja's "clone" carefully, as if expecting to see where the whole thing might unravel at the seems.]

Huh. And you don't have any symbols, or a tail. [SANJI HOW DO YOU THINK CLONES WORK THEY'RE CLONES, NOT TANUKI TRANSFORMATIONS.] Do you dissolve in water?

[Hm. So Sanji noticed something off about his clone, just like Orochimaru had. He will have to remember not to underestimate this man, should they ever find a situation where they are on opposite sides.

...Of course, that thought is immediately followed by. Whatever that question is about. Stop making him question your sanity right after being impressed by you, dude.]

Why on earth would I have a tail?

[Let's focus on that and not discuss the properties of his clone ok.]

[Look, he'll leave your magical ninja properties alone if you don't ask him what the hell haki is. It'll be a never actually stated but mutually beneficial deal!]

Because you don't have a leaf. [He says, pointing to his head.] Or a scroll. [HE SAYS, POINTING TO HIS MOUTH.

But anyway, back to the topic that really matters. Now that he's close enough to Sai's ink clone, he's holding out the packaged up food he'd carried over.]

You might not eat, but the original does. And it's my job to make sure you idiots keep eating when you're supposed to. [Since, you know, Luffy's apparently proclaimed you an unofficial part of the crew by inviting you to their weird ass slumber party.

He reaches up, removing the cigarette from his mouth and blowing the smoke off to the side.]

So why'd a ninja send a clone into an abandoned mine? [Says the pirate who is also in said mine.]

[Yes, good. Handwavey motions, forever.]

[...That question is even more?? Mystifying???? How the hell do clones work wherever you're from wtf.]

All I require for my jutsu is ink and chakra.

[But then there is food all up in his grill and he's a bit confused about Sanji's statement. But he'll get to that in a minute; at least, he can answer the question first.]

One of ALISTAIR's "bounties" involved investigating this mine for fragments of lost records. And as I mentioned, it seemed unsafe to go in myself. Scoping out the area with a clone beforehand seemed the more practical option.

[Sanji's still holding out that food, which the clone can't eat, anyway, and that thing he said is still scratching at Sai's brain.]

...But I do not understand...why is it your obligation to see to it that I am properly fed?

[They work in the mystical, magical ways of Sanji's stupid imagination. And we've all seen what that can look like. Still, he's going to store that term away for later -- chakra, huh? Interesting -- and just arch one of those curly brows at the fact that Sai was, in fact, here for the bounty.]

Bounty, huh? Leave it to a ninja to go for information gathering. [He glances out towards the mines around them, frowning into the darkness.] They sure as hell aren't as stable as they should be, but this mine was at the edge of the fracking. So long as some idiot doesn't come along and break all the remaining supports, we should be save from cave ins.

[And then, his attention is being dragged right back to this troubling -- yet really, stupidly, awesomely kick ass-- ninja.]

We're part of the same group, so just go take the food back to whoever can eat it. Jutsus take up energy, don't they? [He sighs, a slightly annoyed and put upon tone to the gesture.] If you're worried about missing out on the fragment, I'll stay put until you send a clone back.

[After all, there's more sense in having some help searching this dumb, dark hole.]

[We're part of the same group. Sai's expression stutters at that assertion. Or perhaps, more accurately, his face actually takes on notable expression, for arguably the first time since his clone showed itself in the cave.

It's not, surprisingly, that he doesn't understand. There's only really one thing he was allowed to have as identity while being trained by Root, and that is loyalty, as a shinobi of Konohagakure.

So group membership is something he does understand, very intimately, but what he's uncertain about is the extension of the offer to him. When Luffy had suggested they work together as a team, he'd thought of it as a matter of an individual bond. He'd accepted, because he's still curious about all of that, but he hadn't thought of it as extending beyond Luffy in any way.]

I...you consider me part of your group?

[He's clearly hesitant, here, and the uncertainty in his voice is perhaps the first real sign of inflection he's shown, either.]

But I am not...I am not of your world.

[And you're not??? Of his?????? Don't do this to him man, he has a very neat arrangement of priorities here and you're hecking with it, Sanji!]

[Of all the reactions he was expecting -- Sai declaring he was too cool for charity, too good for his food, denying hunger, etc, etc -- the utter confusion he's being faced with wasn't exactly on the table.

Okay, so it wasn't utter confusion. This kid's expressions were harder to read than just about any Sanji's seen. And after spending so long with such a rowdy, expressive group of people... well, it's strange to see someone like Sai.

Which might also be why he's so focused in on trying to read the slightest nuances of that stone cold face.]

Hm? Ah, yeah. [He frowns, chewing on the filter of his cigarette for a moment as he tries to understand just why Sai is throwing such a fit over getting a little bit of food.] Most of us aren't from the same world, that doesn't mean I'm just gonna let all you idiots starve.

[He sighs, reaching up with his free hand to rub the back of his head, humming low as he tries to think. To figure out a way to explaining this that won't... spook??? the kid.]

We're all dealing with the same shit, we're all on the same team, but most importantly, Luffy dragged you into our group. [He shrugs.] If you didn't want that, you should have just tried to stab him and moved on.

[It's too late now, Sai. The sooner you realize that, the better.]

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Pirates vs Ninjas!!

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