[As when dawn reaches its rosy fingers across the sky to reveal to man all to which he was blind during the night, so too does recognition strike Achilles. In his ebullience, just as in his rage, he had thought only of himself and assumed that all around him would bend to his selfsame wants. Yet now he sees that he was wrong. Well does he remember the jealousy that had burned in her bosom upon his recounting of the years passed upon Scyros, but then she had borne this fire for another woman: that his love for Patroclus might sear her heart in this same way had not occurred to him, for men and women are such separate matters.]
Olivia... Patroclus is my kin - we were boys together in my father's house, and later under the tutelage of Chiron upon Mount Pelion. He is my brother in arms, who lent himself in loyal service to me when for Ilios I set sail in the fleet of fifty ships granted by Peleus. For nine long years we let rage our spears across Dardanus' plain and tended to the wounds of our comrades the Myrmidons as well as one another's. For these same nine years we took pride in the treasures we pried from the bloody jaws of battle. Through all of these trials and triumphs he has stayed steady by my side.
Yet you speak true, for such words cannot hope to describe all that he is to me, just as it would be inadequate to call a storm that which rends the heavens in twain to unleash a torrent of rain and a fury of thunder hurled by Zeus almighty. Truly Patroclus is my second self, inside whose breast beats half of my heart. This I burned upon his funeral pyre, and this I poured into the golden urn alongside his precious ashes.
[He can see how each truth he inflicts upon her flays her flesh and rends her tender heart, yet he cannot still his tongue. Out here, where the world is shrouded in a pall of snow, the silence is made palpable, but he strives nonetheless to reach her with his words.]
Indeed, I believed that never again would I love nor feel my heart fill with joy - for how can a broken vessel hold any water? I had only my fate to look forward to, that I might meet the shade of my dear companion upon the Acheron's far shore. Yet then I was blown off course, and thus we collided as perhaps we never were meant to do.
[Perhaps in the beginning she has served as a distraction, someone lovely and warm in whose fleeting company he could delight while still he staved off the end of mortality. Then slowly and all at once this had changed: although she could not replace the missing half of his heart, she had patched what remained of it and so gave it use once more. At present he takes a step nearer, his hands purposing to take hold of hers once more.]
You are my wife, dear Olivia - I love you no less today than I did yesterday.
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Olivia... Patroclus is my kin - we were boys together in my father's house, and later under the tutelage of Chiron upon Mount Pelion. He is my brother in arms, who lent himself in loyal service to me when for Ilios I set sail in the fleet of fifty ships granted by Peleus. For nine long years we let rage our spears across Dardanus' plain and tended to the wounds of our comrades the Myrmidons as well as one another's. For these same nine years we took pride in the treasures we pried from the bloody jaws of battle. Through all of these trials and triumphs he has stayed steady by my side.
Yet you speak true, for such words cannot hope to describe all that he is to me, just as it would be inadequate to call a storm that which rends the heavens in twain to unleash a torrent of rain and a fury of thunder hurled by Zeus almighty. Truly Patroclus is my second self, inside whose breast beats half of my heart. This I burned upon his funeral pyre, and this I poured into the golden urn alongside his precious ashes.
[He can see how each truth he inflicts upon her flays her flesh and rends her tender heart, yet he cannot still his tongue. Out here, where the world is shrouded in a pall of snow, the silence is made palpable, but he strives nonetheless to reach her with his words.]
Indeed, I believed that never again would I love nor feel my heart fill with joy - for how can a broken vessel hold any water? I had only my fate to look forward to, that I might meet the shade of my dear companion upon the Acheron's far shore. Yet then I was blown off course, and thus we collided as perhaps we never were meant to do.
[Perhaps in the beginning she has served as a distraction, someone lovely and warm in whose fleeting company he could delight while still he staved off the end of mortality. Then slowly and all at once this had changed: although she could not replace the missing half of his heart, she had patched what remained of it and so gave it use once more. At present he takes a step nearer, his hands purposing to take hold of hers once more.]
You are my wife, dear Olivia - I love you no less today than I did yesterday.