(pressing a button that looks legit, from a moment of time spent deducing how the hell he works it. boop.)

Ah, I don't know. I was born thinking all candy was wretched, artificial, carcinogenic filth. (says it so casually he could be joking, but the matter-of-fact expression's saying otherwise.)

Really, really dark chocolate is the only thing that's come close to enjoyable, but I'd still rather die.

(GATHERS HIS MUG UP)