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"The Deadly Sin of Greed", Undead Ban ([personal profile] perma_banned) wrote in [community profile] epidemiology 2017-08-08 02:26 am (UTC)

Ban | OTA

Beetles and Benevolent Old Men

[For a moment, Ban was surprised to see new faces come in out of nowhere. He had gotten used to the sour-faced inmates and the apprehensive correctional officers, each with their various concerns and desires which had no obligation to benefit Audentes. Having new folks coming in looking to help the group was a breath of relief but, as far as gestures of thanks went, Ban was terrible in terms of reciprocation. Instead of pushing himself to help solve the problem as swiftly as possible, he slowed down to a relaxing pace and settled in with his flask and the stolen liquor still held in his bag of holding.

More equipped for laziness and a blase disposition, Ban sidled up next to new recruits and old recruits, pointedly stroking his beard while making a few simple observations. Unlike the entire crowd around them, he was the only one who actually managed to stink of liquor. He would keep the bag of holding as a nice little secret--enjoying the nature of the mystery behind the rude drunk.]


Why do you think they sent everybody down to us, directly? Figure we're short on time but reconnaissance seems like somethin' you should invest in.

'Course, I'm just a wise old man--what do I know~? [More importantly, he was just mostly a mean drunk.]

-

Minotaurs and Port-holes

[The moment the group came into the room, Ban had been wearing his usual slackened expression with a mixture of boredom and emotional displacement--up to a point. When he took the time to evaluate the gigantic figure in the middle of the room, throwing fire and acid and swinging a massive axe around in wide, destructive arcs, he couldn't help but light up with excitement. Out of nowhere, he screamed:]

Woah! That guy's mine! Dibs on that guy!

[So, he bum rushed the thing with his explosively wide grin ripping across his face as a stark contrast to the dull mood he had earlier. With a solid thud, Ban jumped up and punched the minotaur in the middle of one of its swings, sending the creature careening into the ground, shaking the room with the rough equivalent of a sonic boom. Excitement dwindled to disappointment as Ban landed on the ground, figuring the fight was over before it already began. He turned back to the crowd and leveled a sigh, giving one bicep a gentle little tap before he opened his mouth to gloat--]

Ahhhhn, nevermiiiind. ♪ I guess this guy was actually just a pushover. Here I was, getting excited over--

[As if summoning a counterpoint from thin air, Ban realized suddenly that he was airborne a split hair before he smashed headlong into a wall. A trail of blood followed him as the minotaur hammered into him from the side, almost completely imitating Ban's sucker punch from before. Broken bones repaired themselves as skin and muscle grafted back together, forcing Ban's body back into the shape it was before. The surprised expression he wore from just after he had gotten knocked across the portal room dulled into an irritable frown once he was back on his feet. The lovely prisoner jumpsuit he had been wearing was in tatters.]

Way to make my eat my own wo-- [A flashing console at his side stopped Ban mid-sentence, though not as harshly as the minotaur's charge. The presence of what looked to be a digital dial with a series of puzzles on its surface prompted him to brief silence before, unfortunately, he continued speaking.]

Wait.

...Is this a game room or something? I thought this was the portal room.

[He looked up from the console at the last possible moment--just as the butt of a gigantic axe sent him to the other side of the room in a very unoriginal sequel to the first swing. Ban sat up, cursing out at the minotaur as his body stitched itself back up.] Give me a second, asshole!

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