( she knows, and yet that doesn't make it any easier. he's seen as many people come and go, though he hasn't truly been able to connect to them or mourn them. Sieglinde has done both with more names than he could count, and those were simply the names he knew about. he wasn't disappearing home to die, she'd seen to that, yet would that make the absence easier?
return of emotion is a two sided coin, and while one side is bright and new and young and hopeful, the other is corroded and black and ugly. supposedly when you flipped a coin, there was an even chance of getting either side, yet emotions didn't seem to rely on statistics. Graham all too easily found the ugly side of his feelings now that he could properly reach them, and this one was one of the ugliest of all. there was no one he'd say goodbye to that had meant so much to him as Sieglinde, and caring about her as he does makes it all the more painful to know he'd be leaving a new wound in her heart, one she was notorious for letting fester over allowing it to heal.
He's held her many times, carried her more than he can count. when he reaches for her now it isn't for practicality, it's an apology morphed into movement. he holds her tight like he'd never let go, but the fact is, he has already decided he has to. )
I'm sorry. ( for leaving her, for being the one to walk away. for so long he'd thought his fate was sealed and that ALASTAIR was all he had left. she'd given him the chance to dream for more, and yet that meant saying goodbye. )
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return of emotion is a two sided coin, and while one side is bright and new and young and hopeful, the other is corroded and black and ugly. supposedly when you flipped a coin, there was an even chance of getting either side, yet emotions didn't seem to rely on statistics. Graham all too easily found the ugly side of his feelings now that he could properly reach them, and this one was one of the ugliest of all. there was no one he'd say goodbye to that had meant so much to him as Sieglinde, and caring about her as he does makes it all the more painful to know he'd be leaving a new wound in her heart, one she was notorious for letting fester over allowing it to heal.
He's held her many times, carried her more than he can count. when he reaches for her now it isn't for practicality, it's an apology morphed into movement. he holds her tight like he'd never let go, but the fact is, he has already decided he has to. )
I'm sorry. ( for leaving her, for being the one to walk away. for so long he'd thought his fate was sealed and that ALASTAIR was all he had left. she'd given him the chance to dream for more, and yet that meant saying goodbye. )