[ god, would he ever be able to understand that? she had to believe that he could, if he was ever going to come back. and she does have hope for that. she does. ]
You already gave me that. [ and tbh it was disappointing and unfulfilling like most things kylo ren gives people yoooooooo. no but she's actually quite despondent when she mentions her parents. err, indirectly. but she works through it. she shakes her head. ] I thought finding them would give me something that I needed. Something that I've been missing, but … It didn't.
They never had anything to offer me. But Hathaway does.
[ as long as he stays, finn is safe from snoke. and in the interim, she can turn kylo ren's heart back to the light. and … and keith. and urahara. these people that she cares so much about, that she can't let go of. it hurts her to admit it because she feels like a coward, somehow. but that's not her war. thrawn is right. it's never been her war. she just stumbled upon it one day and threw in with the side that had the most to offer her.
and … she will go back. one day. she knows that. because finn and poe will go back, and they'll need her, and they'll need ben, and maybe by that time keith will be ready to leave too, and —
but now? right now? she's here because she wants to be. not for any stupid incentive. the belonging she's been looking for, she's found. if she can just hold it together — if anything, it's been the effort of denying that fact which has been causing her the most grief. trying to chase the end goal, the over-the-rainbow destination of their own galaxy. ]
I already have everything I want here. But if I don't follow him now, I might lose it.
no subject
[ god, would he ever be able to understand that? she had to believe that he could, if he was ever going to come back. and she does have hope for that. she does. ]
You already gave me that. [ and tbh it was disappointing and unfulfilling like most things kylo ren gives people yoooooooo. no but she's actually quite despondent when she mentions her parents. err, indirectly. but she works through it. she shakes her head. ] I thought finding them would give me something that I needed. Something that I've been missing, but … It didn't.
They never had anything to offer me. But Hathaway does.
[ as long as he stays, finn is safe from snoke. and in the interim, she can turn kylo ren's heart back to the light. and … and keith. and urahara. these people that she cares so much about, that she can't let go of. it hurts her to admit it because she feels like a coward, somehow. but that's not her war. thrawn is right. it's never been her war. she just stumbled upon it one day and threw in with the side that had the most to offer her.
and … she will go back. one day. she knows that. because finn and poe will go back, and they'll need her, and they'll need ben, and maybe by that time keith will be ready to leave too, and —
but now? right now? she's here because she wants to be. not for any stupid incentive. the belonging she's been looking for, she's found. if she can just hold it together — if anything, it's been the effort of denying that fact which has been causing her the most grief. trying to chase the end goal, the over-the-rainbow destination of their own galaxy. ]
I already have everything I want here. But if I don't follow him now, I might lose it.