[ things that aren't fair 1) that he's being so understanding when she'd thought this was Hard and Scary and Confusing all this time, 2) that he's being so blunt. she draws a sharp breath, feeling for a moment like there's an accusation there. like poe had said, you're on his side.
except that's not how keith is saying it at all. it's not about sides. it's about what she's willing to forgive, and he's not asking to judge, but to understand. in fact, seeing keith ask in this way, even with the keen accuracy he has, throws into total relief why she had felt so devastated by poe and so open now.
so she looks down at her hands, thinking it over. then she starts digging her fingers into the dirt of the forest floor, feeling it grind beneath her nails. it's life. it's light. it's … her lungs expand and she shuts her eyes. peace. ]
Both.
[ it comes to her when she closes her eyes, the memory of the person that she became. ]
I saw a vision of the future, of Ben and I fighting side-by-side. But … [ she shakes her head. ] I'm not sure which side we're on.
Finn tells me he's heading to the First Order's flagship, as am I. If I can help Ben return to the Light, we can save him. But if I'm not there in time, or if I can't turn Ben, and something happens to Finn, that future the insects showed us could mean I'm the one who turns.
[ she opens her eyes again and looks at him. getting it off of her chest has a calming effect on her. it's less scary, now that it's out in the open. ]
And … even if it works, and we save Finn, Ben hurt all of us terribly. I believe in the Light inside of him, but I don't think they'd ever be able to understand how I feel about him. That's what Poe was talking about, you know. It had nothing to do with the mission at all. He was talking about Ben.
no subject
except that's not how keith is saying it at all. it's not about sides. it's about what she's willing to forgive, and he's not asking to judge, but to understand. in fact, seeing keith ask in this way, even with the keen accuracy he has, throws into total relief why she had felt so devastated by poe and so open now.
so she looks down at her hands, thinking it over. then she starts digging her fingers into the dirt of the forest floor, feeling it grind beneath her nails. it's life. it's light. it's … her lungs expand and she shuts her eyes. peace. ]
Both.
[ it comes to her when she closes her eyes, the memory of the person that she became. ]
I saw a vision of the future, of Ben and I fighting side-by-side. But … [ she shakes her head. ] I'm not sure which side we're on.
Finn tells me he's heading to the First Order's flagship, as am I. If I can help Ben return to the Light, we can save him. But if I'm not there in time, or if I can't turn Ben, and something happens to Finn, that future the insects showed us could mean I'm the one who turns.
[ she opens her eyes again and looks at him. getting it off of her chest has a calming effect on her. it's less scary, now that it's out in the open. ]
And … even if it works, and we save Finn, Ben hurt all of us terribly. I believe in the Light inside of him, but I don't think they'd ever be able to understand how I feel about him. That's what Poe was talking about, you know. It had nothing to do with the mission at all. He was talking about Ben.