I would have slit my belly open and died honorably months ago, if my lord had not forbade it!

[She didn't.

She didn't want to survive- not really. (At least... she didn't think she did.) Survive for what? To go back to a world where she had done nothing but fail and hurt the few people she had actually cared about when instead she could have Hathaway do there what she couldn't and save them? To stay in service with Hathaway, suffering like this, feeling alienated and forced to reside in the deep black?]

But he has returned to his world, and I remain-

[And again, just like that night... she's getting incensed, defensive, hackles and tail raising, hocks quivering.]

And I will die in service. Whether you think it right or not!

[Like she should have, long ago.]