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epidemiology2018-03-08 07:01 pm
CLOSED.
DATE: After the wedding.
WARNINGS: Blood; though the two of them are their own warnings. Tread careful, pls.
SUMMARY: Loki meets Kylo Ren and demands answers.
Good and bad are in my heart,
But I cannot tell to you—
—For they are never apart—
Which is the better of the two.
[ the sword that had once belonged to the Asgardian hero Sigurd, passed to Odin, locked away from more than a millennia in twisted scheme manufactured to leave it in the hands of Loki—was left in Keith's room is gone amid the flutter of curtains and without a trace. the sword carried a curse of painful truths, and even those immune to deep cuts had fallen to victim to its more intangible powers.
the sword never felt comfortable in his hand, no many how many times he carried it with him. while blades and magical tools were always useful, his most dangerous weapon was his tongue, and he always carried that with him. there are some preparations to be made, all the while allowing the anger inside of him to shudder and sharpen. there was so much rage, and finally something else other than himself to direct it.
carefully, he goes to work.
it's not difficult to find Kylo Ren alone, a bruise among Ophelia, standing alone where anyone would hardly know he was missing. it's a simple disappearing act for Loki, one that takes a whisper and the snap of his fingers, and they're gone from the quiet stillness that has drifted over the castle. Loki shoves him forward through the moss at their feet, his soles leaving imprint in the soft soil. they're surrounded in thin trees, reaching their skeletal branches toward the blue sky. ]
Hello. I've got a few questions for you, and I don't have much patience right now.
[ there's an edge to his usually playful tone, sharpened and ready to attack. the slow, smoldering rage might be something that Kylo Ren knows well, burning beneath his skin and mounting tension in the air around them. the grip of reality tightens, thick like a fog and almost difficult to breathe. the fashion of Hanabira has been shed into his thick green jacket and golden diadem, in his hand is a blade at rest. in his other his fingers twist and remain, marked by a translucent green glow. ]
[ dedicated to Koltira. peace, man. ]
fuck that guy (love u lyn)
Kylo Ren catches himself on the ground when it rushes up to meet him, throwing one arm out instinctively to call his lightsaber, but it is out of reach long beforehand. Loki is rewarded with a snarl of frustration and fury quickly building, and his hands fighth to curl to fists in spite of their stiches and bandages.
He doesn’t ask what Loki wants — he was never a particularly verbose man, even less so when he was already on edge. Instead, he tunes into the Force, tries to read its flow to sense Loki’s next move, his intentions, his thoughts. The anger (his, and Loki’s) clouds his vision, forces him to straight in effort.
The air is thin, causing him to huff out his anger and break his concentration before too long. This is when he speaks, thrashing with the intent to put distance between them.]
What?
[It is an inrestrained snarl, clearly offended by his choice of...greeting.]
no subject
Kylo Ren scrambles, and Loki doesn't bother to claim the space between them, not yet. the gap could be filled easily, and he won't be able to go far without Loki catching up to him. ]
Is that all? [ the words come out low, hot. ] You think you'd have more to say for yourself. You did cause quite a lot of trouble, the least you could do is try to talk your way out of it.
[ the sword twists around his wrist, the blade catching the shadows as he juggles it between his fingers, grasping the downward hilt of the blade. it's a polished gold fitted with runes scrawled down the center, almost three feet long. in his life, Loki has wielded many weapons, both belonging and not belonging to him. they were always just things, means to an end. this sword was cursed, back in his world, Thor had shattered it, it wasn't supposed to be here.
but it had its uses. ]
no subject
But then he supplies him with the answer and his anger flares some. There is a moment where Loki is treated to a dumbstruck expression before the pieces fall into place.
Of course. Of course word had spread. He had not even been thinking about it, so lost to his own failure and still nursig a bruised ego. It is this that causes Kylo to straighten his posture from that of a defensive animal, gloved hands dusting off the thin sleeves of his yukata.]
More to say for myself.
[He echoes it with a small snort.]
As far as I can see, the mission has been a success. Unless you mean to reference that unpleasantness with Keith.
[Which is none of your business is implied in his tone. He sneers.]
I trust he’s learned a valuable lesson.
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No, I don't think you made it clear enough. [ Loki clucks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and examines the sword as the small woodlot darkens. there's a flash off the blade. ] Sloppy, you could call it.
[ there's a dull green glow to his eyes when he looks up at him again, and takes the first step forward, gripping the sword between his fingers. his mother wouldn't approve, but the thought only lasts the briefest of moments. Freyja isn't here, and Freyja betrayed him. perhaps Thor's justified rage in dragging him through the streets of Asgard and beating him with the eyes of their brethren upon them wasn't so different. perhaps it was. later, he might think of his own hypocrisy.
right now, he doesn't care: not about that, and not about whose business it is. ]
So, now you have the honor of telling me: What lesson did you hope he'd learn?
i woke up and saw two typos
Plus, Loki is armed with a weapon, where Kylo has the Force. But if their surroundings were anything to go by, the Force might not be enough.]
To keep his nose out of matters that do not concern him. To take “no” for an answer, instead of probing for information that does not belong to him.
[Ironic, given what Kylo had done to everyone from home at least once. But he does not see it that way.]
no subject
So he scares you. [ there's a sharp edge to his words that rivals the blade by his side. ] Enough to torment him and discourage him from his friendship with Rey. You can't control him, and if he doesn't have the power to stand up to you, then I'll do it myself. Your own "business" be damned.
[ he steps closer, stalking to close the darkened gap between them. ]
You will not burn them with the fire you've set to yourself.
no subject
[That is not entirely true, of course, but it is true enough in the sense that Kylo does not recognize the underlying cause of what triggered him to try and murder Keith. It wasn’t the man himself, but the danger that his loose tongue would send his secrets to someone who could use them against him.
He didn’t have a name for that person, but he didn’t need one. The Dark promised him that person was here somewhere lurking. Or perhaps they were standing right in front of him.
The promise of imminent conflict forces him to unfold his arms and start pacing side to side. the Force at his fingertips. He does not want to fight Loki. He may not know him as well as he’d like, but he knows enough not to want him as an enemy if he could help it.
That does not seem to be the case here.]
He made his choice to press me, and reaped the consequnces. Were it not for Rey, he would be dead now.
[You couldn’t trust anyone. He can’t say he is sorry for the outcome, as that had been what he wanted in the first place, but he was a fool not to see the lengths she’d tried to go to defend him.]
no subject
No, you chose the consequences for him. It's funny, really, because your judgement holds no authority, not here. If he were killed, he'd be dead because you're a murderer, not because he wanted to help. [ harsh words he knows all too well: you're a bodysnatcher and a murderer, Loki. ] I'm curious, though.
[ he's a few steps away now, and he flicks the sword. ]
Before I force the truth out of you myself, I'll hear it from your own tongue: who are you trying to convince? Me, or yourself?
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[His conscious on that is clear. He could not be made to feel guilt for killing a man, let alone a man who'd crossed his path after being warned away from it. His compassion for life was next to non-existent.
(But no, that's not right. He thinks of Daenerys and how he kept her from the temporal insects. He thinks of Lucina, and how she'd reached out to him in spite of his refusal to offer compassion in return. He thinks of Lorna and of Rey, who refused to be warded off by his rejection of kinship. He thinks of his father, of his mother--)
He blinks hard. The conversation is clearly over, and his eyes drop to the sword. There's something about it, a Light that makes something in his stomach flip over unpleasantly.
He'd made no plans to be cut by it, but in that moment of exchange (Force the truth), he is certain that he must avoid it at all costs.]
Did you think I would deny what I am? I know.
no subject
he's harrowed by the similarities and distraught by the differences. Kylo Ren is not an evil, alternate self, but the patterns are there. ]
Then there's no one else to blame.
[ the shadows dance and Loki's gone, disappeared from the grove. when he appears again its from the opposite side of Ren's stride, the sword in wide arc, driving him. ]
no subject
Its like the bowcaster bolt all over again, and he snarls in frustration and pain. The blow cuts through him, the wind leaves his lungs and immediately his arm goes to his side to quell blood he know must be flowing, only to find that Loki had barely cut him at all. He opens his mouth--]
What--
[So he scares you. Yes. He does scare him. He is too close to Rey. She trusts him too much, and she is a gateway to him through the Force. The dark of his eyes shrinks some.
Isn't it the same for you? Someone gave up on you too. Keith's voice echoes back in his head, the very same thing that had driven him to walk away from him during the discussions between the Empresses. When he'd come so close to knowing him, in just one breath.
He tries to inhale and force the thought away, to draw on his anger for power, but the shield of the Dark is--
--slipping through his fingers.]
What did you do?
[The confidence, the surety of his tone, its missing. Now he sounds scared. Quieter, not the giant awkward crow of a man bulldozing his way through every social encounter he could find.
Panic seizes in his chest, and he lashes out in anticipation, pushing out with the Force to try and defend himself against the truth he feels worming its way up his throat. The shadows surrounding them -- he can't make sense of their movements, even as he watches the energy force them further back from his body.
Out. Out. OUT.]
no subject
Loki stands where he is, sliding the sword away with an elegant flick of his wrist. for all his moments of absurdity and jest, he solidifies his presence as something more than human. ]
Cut through the lies, but I'm not done yet. The deeper the denial, the more involved the lie, the more it hurts. But don't misunderstand, I don't want you in pain, I just want to know what you're hiding.
[ that could hurt them is the rest of that sentence that he doesn't add.
while the shock is still fresh, he disappears again, appearing directly behind him with a sword to his throat. he lingers there, as if coaxing the air out of him, before the sword lowers and presses against his collar, just enough that skin breaks, and the curse of the blade pours in. ]
Why did you try to kill Keith?
[ the words are harsh, Loki no longer caring to play poetry into his voice. ]
no subject
[It starts as a defensive snarl, but it is promptly cut off by the presence of Gram at his collar. Instinctively, he reaches out to grab Loki's wrist with one hand and the blade with the other. His panic is palpable.]
I already TOLD you!
[And it was truth, to him -- but not the core of it. So the curse bleeds into him, the pain of it building the more he refuses the whole truth -- that he was scared of Keith, that he was scared of being vulnerable with others.
He reaches for that pain again (as he often did) to try and call upon the corrupting influence of the Dark side to push the blade away from him, but it continues to elude him as it had before. All he ends up with is another cut into his hand, enough that he presses backwards into Loki to try and escape the blade.
He feels powerless, in a way he never had before.]
STOP!
[He considers reaching for the Light, anything to get Loki off him -- but that somehow seems worse.]
no subject
bright green eyes narrow into slits of glowing light. ]
And Rey? What are your intentions with her?
[ the faster the questions are answered, the more likely he'll step back when he's satisfied. he's a child of Odin, and he's not against using extreme methods of movement for those people that he cares about. while Loki found himself playing the hero at times in his life, he was never really good at it. proud of himself on a level when no one else was, but it wasn't him.
he manipulated and used, unafraid of making the power move instead of preparing for a fight.
I want to be on the very top, he had said, a long time ago. and I want to look down on all of those who scorned me. ]
no subject
[He growls it through gritted teeth, but this time the pain is too much. It bleeds through his panic, causing him to thrash against Loki and Gram, squirming like prey pinned in the jaws of a predator. What a loaded question that is.
All I ever wanted was to be close to you. He wanted that too, hadn’t he? Isn’t that the answer?
No. No. Even as he starts to bargain with himself, he feels the familiar denial surface simultaneously with the mounting pain. The corners of his eyes become damp with the effort of baring the ache of it, but the satisfaction that comes with the flood of the Dark Side never comes. It remains inaccessible, its corruption abolished by Gram’s piercing truth. There is no familiar comfort, nothing to lose himself in, nothing to hide behind.
Somwhere in the middle of that, his panic snaps, and claws for release — through the Force, deep in his soul. He needs to escape this, or its going to kill him.
He tries to blink back the tears and they angrily spill over. Were it not for the shadows of the warped reality, he would be digging rivets into the earth with the heels of his boots in an effort to duck and run. The fear — that is real, and familiar. He feels like a young man again, staring up into the eyes of his uncle, hovering over him with lightsaber in hand.]
She wanted to learn. About the Force. And I was teaching her.
[It spills out of his mouth all at once. That doesn’t hurt to give up, but it doesn’t offer any real relief. The rest of the truth needles at him, causes something in his chest to seize painfully, and a hysterical chuckle chokes out of his throat like a short bark. Without the power to pull from, with all of that on the table, all he can do is admit the rest of that truth in hopes of escaping that burn:]
But she doesn’t need me.
[He knows that, as much as he hates it. The Force was strong with her. Even if her technique wasn’t refined, she was nearly an even match for him blow for blow. And he hated it.]
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There's more than that. Tell me.
[ the extremity of the actions that he went to with Keith were proof enough for him. the point that they reached now was enough for him. Keith and Rey are people who put themselves into everything they do, so much that it destroys them—it's a feeling that he knows well, one that he had tried to run from.
even if they both end up hating him for this, he doesn't care. there was so much pressure, that something needed to give, and if he's the reason for that break, then he'll take it.
it's a brief moment that he recalls Anakin, wonders what he would've done, what he would do. the truth hurts—badly—and in his own experience, sometimes it's the only thing that can save you. ]
no subject
So he exhales with some obvious effort.]
What are you hoping I might give you, Loki? Hm? Are you hoping to find some magical answer to why I chose to strike? You won’t — it is my nature.
[He expects sadistic pleasure to come when he says it, but it never comes. There is nothing but reality — the truth hanging over him that is almost too much to bare. His face has turned red with the effort of resisting and holding back his emotional response. He isn’t strong enough of will to push anyway the influence of other people.]
I am a monster — a powerful monster, a murderer. You understand that. But I am surrounded by — users. That is what Keith is. And I see now that is what you are.
[He swallows thickly, feeling the cut on his neck shift with the motion. His skin is hot and his vision blurry, but the pain doesn’t increase. This is truth. Facing it emboldens him, but it doesn’t try the tears he cannot blink away.]
I will not suffer them anymore.
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Is that what you want to be? Someone molded by other people? [ there's a hah that comes from his lips. ] It was others made you a monster, and now you have something to blame on me.
[ with the one hand holding the hilt, the other comes around Kylo Ren's shoulder, gripping the blade so they share it. he had done this before, when he had told Verity that he hadn't used the blade on himself, terrified of his own consequences. not anymore: he didn't allow for guilt to consume him. not like it had. ]
Life's not divided in users and used. I've got something else to fight for right now, while you insist on sacrificing others for yourself. [ not anymore something inside of him says. the sword gets pulled back and he takes a step, still holding the golden blade tightly between bloody fingers. ] And Rey? You might have put her on the pyre, but I'll make sure she's not yours to burn.
[ he releases the sword and it disappears back into the place that he stores it, gone in a blink. ]
Maybe when everything's gone, when you only have yourself to blame, will you get it.
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No. That isn’t what I want. What I want doesn’t matter to anyone.
[That was the hand he was dealt. That was why he was going to kill Snoke with Rey, and how they were going to dismantle all the systems that had been put in place using the First Order.
Loki pulls the sword back and Kylo inhales sharply, clapping his hand over the shallow wound. Before long, as Loki talks, his fingers curl into a fist and his focus settles somewhere far away.
You may have put her on the pyre, but I’ll make sure she’s not your’s to burn.]
You let me know how that goes for you.
[The void of emotion returns to his voice, strained as it is while he blinks back tears. His fingers quiver while he tries to swallow the lingering truth that threatens to spill from his lips.]
But I promise you — it will all be gone. I will make certain of that.
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I don't care if you turn the world to ash, but if you lay a hand on either of them, we will have this meeting again. [ and Loki never comes at anyone in the same way twice. his brand of sabotage is usually far more subtle, there were times he was forced to violence, and in this instance he didn't regret it. ] There are others that I love, and I'll let you wallow on who they are so you think long and hard the next time you feel like flaunting your hand.
[ he flicks his hand of blood, and the wound is already healed. ]
You should listen to Keith, you might be pleasantly surprised at what he has to say.
[ what Keith wants to do—forgive or not—was up to him. the power was tipping, even if it was just a little bit. ]
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Normally, he might taunt him — remind him that he was too late to stop him from hurting them. But admittedly, he fears Loki’s wrath now. He does not want to invite that sword again, the truth that was still handing over his head.]
Not likely.
[He is quiet. If nothing else, Loki has made his point, and he needs time to recover and push everything back into their respective boxes.]
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instead, Kylo Ren got him. ]
Then I suppose you'll just have to suffer through it.
[ he says that with some satisfaction, tucking his hands in his pockets and stepping past him as the shadows disperse, and the air becomes much easier to breathe. the anger is still there, but less loud, more subtle, and the reality around them begins to relax. ]
no subject
She can't stoke the bond. Opening her mind leaves her alone and cold like she hasn't been in months. Her mind without his linked to it. Something has severed it. The panic swells, rising and clawing its way up her throat. No. Nononono. Conscious thought and planning is gone, replaced by gut instinct that can't conceptualize being alone again. She has to find him.
The bond is gone, but the Force is not. She can feel where he is through it just as clearly as she always could. She follows that feeling like a bloodhound, and when she comes across them, she is panting and out of breath and red-faced and sweating. She staggers to a stop, looking between them.
Kylo is pale by nature, but he is a clammy ghost now, bleeding from an open wound. Tears stain his cheeks and turn them an angry red. She's never seen him like this before, but she has felt some of it. Referred. Like the pain. The bond breathes and expands between them again now and his emotions are clearer to her.
What the hell had happened here? ]
Get away from him.
[ She glowers at Loki, snarling the words. Not the kind of person who wants to be saved from this. She has not forgotten what Keith told him, has not forgotten his place in this mess, and she has eyes and can see he is responsible for whatever hurt Kylo. She meanwhile tears off, closer to him, ready to put herself bodily between them, which may appear redundant and pointless given that Loki appears to have what he came for and be leaving. ]
no subject
And then like a rubber band snapping against his wrist, he hears Rey’s voice cut through the haze of his circling thoughts, and his heart stutters uncomfortably in surprise and fear. One of two of the worst people to draw that connection was standing right in front of them, someone who could potentially manipulate that bond, given what he had just seen.
Pointedly, he doesn’t look up. But without the Dark shadow hanging over him, his fear is twice as palpable through the Force.]
Don’t.
[It comes out like a warning, but he is sure that Loki has already drawn the conclusion there was something else involved in all of this: the Force bond. He does not reach out to confirm his suspicions.
Instead, he gropes through the Force for the familiar shadow of the Dark Side he knows should be there, but hasn’t yet returned to him in full. His fear draws it back in like a magnet on its own, but its slow — like sludge.]
no subject
she darts around fiercely and puts herself between him and Kylo Ren, even though he's already making the necessary motions to leave. hands still tucked in his jacket, he flares out the back of his coat and tilts his head over his shoulder. ]
You're not going to save him like this. When he drags you down, he goes down with you. Then no one saves anyone.
[ stagnant, he almost says, but doesn't. Kylo Ren was stuck, and he was pulling Rey back with him.
Loki didn't mind being the catalyst, and he didn't mind being hated for it. he had been hated for worse things, and even if this was far from a heroic act, he did it for someone other than himself.
the birds begin to move above them again and through the trees, and Loki continues off. ]