PLAYER EVENT ★ HELIOLOGY

[ricksybusiness]

INTRODUCTION. It's difficult to tell time without the presence of a sun or moon. There are no stars. The world is in constant blackness, the heavens barely visible from below and the only light artificial. It's been like this for months. Suddenly, those who expressed interest in observing the sun (or lack thereof) will all at once receive a text message on their ALASTAIR jewellery from 82736775: Get your shit and go look at the sky. Now's the time. If you need me, I'm around. It's time to get to work. OBSERVATION. Find the highest point you can and point the telescopes at the sky. Should be easy, right? Be mindful that there are still guards patrolling the city, looking for escaped prisoners, and some citizens would be very happy to tip them off to your presence. There are still animals in the forests to contend with, and there are still nosey citizens who may ask you too many questions. There are also your fellow ALASTAIR agents, who may not be very willing to share the spot they already staked out before you just showed up. People and animals aren't all you need to look out for, either. Seven hours after the observation starts, there is a lightning storm. It lasts for 30 minutes, bolts of electricity arcing across the sky. It might be a good idea to scurry down someplace lower when this happens -- you know what they say about lightning and height. 82736775 doesn't contact anyone after the initial text, so observers are free to give up whenever they decide they've been sitting out in the freezing dark for long enough. [ note: even if you didn't sign up, feel free to tag in! your character won't have a telescope but that doesn't mean they can't mingle. ]

[ previously: ic info | ooc info ]
[ direct questions here! ]

Comments

[winces]

[ she does well enough for someone whose shyness can be debilitating — olivia definitely knows a thing or two about that. the older woman takes care to keep her movements easy and gentle, with years of learning and teaching dance to tell her how much is enough to push without asking for too much. ]

Envy? [ she echoes, and somehow she can make even the curious tilt of her head seem like part of the routine. ] Me?

[digophelia]

[ She can't help but think of the days she spent with her older sister playing in the gardens and out in the front of their house, around the creeks. Lizzie and Alice would be frolicking out in the front like this -- though, Alice was a much more lively girl back then. She didn't have the crushing lack of self-confidence and worth that weighed on her shoulders. ]

Well, yes.

[ She could relate to Olivia's feelings, to a degree. It was easier to focus on her, sort of. But Alice kept her head low, hair covering part of her face. She doesn't say she's nearly as pretty as Olivia (in her opinion) or bright as she is. ]

You're focused and composed. You can move without any restraints or worries.

[ She wishes she could be just as normal. ]

But I sound ridiculous, don't mind me.

[winces]

[ suddenly, the swaying stops. there's nothing particularly graceful about it — abrupt and almost crude, like a physical record scratch to an otherwise beautiful sonata.

there is a look on olivia's face that suggests she can't quite believe what she's hearing, and something the streaks of rain that fall over her cheeks only seem to highlight this disbelief. there is an odd quirk to the corner of her lips, but it seems a far cry from an actual smile.

she feels a bit like laughing, but she knows doing so would only make her sound cruel.

if only, alice. if only.

for while it's true that in dancing, she is in her element, and is quite possibly the only time she ever feels anything close to confident. she is still nothing at all like this grand picture alice paints her to be, whole and colorful.

very gently, she brings alice's hands up in the air between them, pressing them close together as if in prayer. in truth, she merely wishes to hold them close, so that when she leans in and down to rest her forehead over the other girls' their hands rest almost perfectly over their chests. ]

Skill and technique... those are great things to have in a performer, [ she concedes. ] But a careless dance is just steps in a pattern. A dance full of emotion, though... even if they aren't necessarily the happiest kinds... That's the most beautiful dance of all.

[ she actually does laugh now, soft and short and somewhat helpless. ]

I can only move like this now, because in every other situation I'm always frozen.

[digophelia]

[ Alice takes this interaction in stride, as much possible, still finding it difficult to not flinch any time she's touched. It's a slow process, something that will take a while to undo those dark years. Truth be told, she hates it, she hates it anytime anyone touches her.

But she doesn't have the heart to shove or punch Olivia off of her. She means well, Alice can admit to this. She still can't help but stiffen, each time, hiding behind her long dark hair.

Olivia's laugh is anything but cruel, if anything, Alice feels like the cruel one, her lips pressed into a line. She disagree,s of course. ]

It still takes courage to dance, when there are some out there who would be very frightened to do it, even if no one was watching.

[ Like her, of course. Modesty isn't an issue, Alice just doesn't think she's that great, at anything. ]

There's nothing wrong with being frozen in some situations; sometimes they're greater than what we expected.

[winces]

[ there's certainly a fine line between modesty and lack of self-worth. olivia knows a thing or two about that, for sure.

but though she wants to help, she also realizes it may not be her place to. alice isn't looking to her for anything of the sort — why, from the straightforward way she's speaking, she's likely just stating what she believes to be are facts. nothing more, nothing less. much like olivia's own words, fueled by her lack of self-esteem, though not nearly as riddled with emotion.

drawing back, olivia lets their hands lower till they hang low between them. like a tether. ]

Do you feel frozen now, Alice?

[digophelia]

I have forgotten the last time I have not felt frozen.

[ Alice confesses easily; her empathy and in addition to speaking to another woman makes her comfortable to confess this much. At least this conversation has stopped Alice from being self-conscious about the movements on her body. Her eyes are locked onto Olivia's, with a solemn expression on her face. Gently, she adds- ]

Which is why I would like you to believe me when I say there's nothing wrong with that feeling.

[ Ironic, given the guilt and shame Alice puts herself through, she lowers her head before turning back up to her. ]

But I don't shine bright as you do.

[winces]

[ olivia pauses at that, alice's words striking a distant chord within her.

vaguely, she can hear his voice, low and rumbling but as gentle as an evening wind...

could it be, that everyone is someone else's sun? ]

...A very kind man once told me something, Alice. I think, if he were here, he would say the same thing to you.

[ very gently, she gives the girl's hands a squeeze. ]

People should appreciate what they have because it is equally as beautiful as the sun— even if it doesn't shine as bright and radiant. It is still marvelous and important.

Maybe you don't shine like me... but know that no one shines like you, either.

[digophelia]

Maybe.

[ She wonders to herself if, by chance, she would know who that person is. Certainly, it could sound like a few she knows. Nonetheless- ]

I feel as if I told you to have more faith in yourself that I would be more of a hypocrite than I care to admit.

[ Olivia didn't seemed to be plagued by madness, not like her. She wasn't limited by her fears and regrets... that Alice knew of, anyway. Even so, Alice thought very highly of her, just in part of her disposition.

It reminds her a little of her older sister, Alice realizes. Holding hands like this takes her back to her older sister, encouraging Alice at every turn and guiding her through, until the last days of her life. Struck with that thought, Alice withdrew her hands gently, and went back to huddling in her blanket. ]

You remind me of someone. Someone who deserved so much more than what she had.

[winces]

[ when alice draws her hands away, olivia doesn't fight it. instead, she draws her own hands back, letting them hang limp at her sides while her expression takes on something softer, sadder. she thinks back to the time those words she'd uttered had been first said to her, how quickly her spirits had been lifted and turned around. she knows, of course, that she is not nearly as good at this as gintoki, but she had hoped, quite earnestly, that the words would have had some effect on the young girl... admittedly, olivia isn't too sure what else she had left to offer.

still, she doesn't turn or step away, instead letting alice reclaim her space herself. ]

I'm sorry.

[ for stepping out of line. for not doing enough. for igniting a memory that clearly pained her. for that someone's unfortunate fate. ]

[digophelia]

There is no need to apologize.

[ Firmly and gently.

Alice is almost tempted to scold her for even offering up an apology to her. ]

You did nothing wrong.

[ "And neither did she." Lizzie was just as gentle, but far more of a spitfire than Olivia. The little things reminded her of Lizzie, the way she moved and held her hands. ]

My sister was a good soul, much like you. You should never feel guilty for that.

[winces]

[ there is an odd twist to olivia's lips, and for a moment she looks ready to refute.

but this isn't really about her, and so she strives to swallow the words back down. ]

What about you? [ she asks instead. the way alice spoke of her sister, it was like she were speaking from the perspective of the opposite end. ]

Do you not think you are?

[digophelia]

[ For Alice, it was about Olivia; she didn't want the attention on her. Positive attention was just still too strange for her. In Alice's eyes, Lizzie wouldn't have been so blind and careless; she would have done more and she would have been more credible. Her sister was someone she put up on a pedestal, an ideal lady.

The lack of action she took in London is still very unforgivable. ]

Those who are ignorant to the suffering of others aren't very good people. [ An insane, raving lunatic like her? Hardly. Alice was ready to move on; she glanced around awkwardly, around the slight downpour and back to her. ]

It's getting late, you need the rest.

[winces]

[ it's clear from the furrow in olivia's brow that she, unlike alice, would have liked to meander on the subject. there is something about the sharpness — the finality — in alice's tone that she can't say she likes; it speaks of something far worse than the usual self-deprecation that olivia tends to wallow in.

but she doesn't know how much of her worry is warranted. despite their pleasant conversations, despite the intimacy they had just recently shared — they are still virtually strangers, aren't they? and olivia doesn't necessarily want to make a habit of intruding where she may not be wanted.

and so she swallows back her urge to press, and instead fixes the younger girl with a small, if not melancholy smile. ]

I suppose I do, [ she concedes, though there is a tone to her voice that suggests that i is more of a you. a soft sigh, and an idle run of her hand over her hair, pushing her fringe back. ] Will you be alright on your own out here, Alice?

[digophelia]

[ Self-hatred aside, Alice was likely going to be subtly pushing Olivia along and continue her role as a caregiver. The finality of her statement didn't do anything to hamper her cordial and gentleness with Olivia. It wasn't her fault, Alice brought it on herself.

Even after her discomfort, Alice offers up a hand for Olivia to take. Holding hands with another woman is so much more comfortable for her, especially when she strives to comfort another. ]

I'll be fine, I have to find someone, first. I haven't seen him all night and I would like to before I go back inside.

[ It was friendship with Sion, she didn't think anything else beyond that. Like a switch, Alice returns a smile -- a genuine smile to Olivia. It's as if to say no harm done; she doesn't want her to worry about her, but the truth is, Olivia will. ]

He gets a little too quiet for my liking.

[winces]

[ the smile is comforting, almost as much as the offer of her hand. it's one that olivia doesn't hesitate to take, stepping forward just to bridge that faint gap. their hands clasp, and though the rain persists, their palms are warm when they touch. ]

Good luck, Alice. [ the man alice refers to reminds olivia of another she should attend to. best to get to him soon, she thinks, before his strawberry bread becomes ruined. ]

I'll see you around?

[digophelia]

[ A soft smile ghosts her lips as she slowly takes her hand back. ]

Of course you will, I promise. Please enjoy your night, Miss Olivia. I had a good time with you.

[ She means it, too. Alice lingers for a moment, studying her features. She pulls up her hood and slowly ventures off, hoping to find Sion. ]