( closed )

[winces]

CHARACTERS: olivia and keats

DATE: backdated to january 30

WARNINGS: losers being losers

SUMMARY: in an attempt to appeal to the unaffiliated goblins' good sides, olivia is sent on a number of random tasks... keats is around because olivia shouldn't be allowed to do things herself tbh

[ three rabbits and eight sparrows. it wasn't too bad, all things considered. it's certainly more reasonable (and less questionable) than what the humans had requested for, a fair number of which olivia cannot, in good conscience, reiterate, no matter how much keats questions her about it. it's embarrassing, is all she gives him, and while it was certainly that, it was much more uncomfortable than anything else. but he doesn't really need to know that. nobody does. ]

I don't really have the supplies to make any rabbit traps, [ she explains as they venture further out into the woods, her tone and smile apologetic. she hadn't meant to waste quite so much of keats' time, after all... ] So I'll have to do it the harder way.

[ ??? what does that even mean. ]

Are you sure you don't want to go back...? You don't really have to accompany me anymore.

[ she'd asked him as a favor when confronting the goblins, after all. surprisingly (or perhaps not so surprisingly) enough, they'd all been quite amiable. ]

Comments

[headlining]

The harder way? Don't tell me you're going to capture them with your bare hands. That's just silly.

[Honestly, he doesn't know entirely why he's here. Olivia had asked for him to escort her to her dealings with the goblins, and now they were on this fool's errand, trying to find rabbits and sparrows just so that the goblins can have a laugh (in Keats' opinion.)]

And, well, I don't have anything better to do. [He does have his writing, of course, but even then, it's not like he has deadlines on those articles. He gives her a shrug.] Besides, maybe the rabbits in question are bloodsucking rodents. You never know.

[winces]

[ olivia doesn't answer, merely pursing her lips and puffing her cheeks out a bit... which is pretty much all the answer you need, tbh. look — she said it was the harder way, not necessarily the smarter way! she doesn't think she has much of a choice, anyway... if this is what she needs to do to get the goblins on the side of peace, then so be it. at least she'll manage to do something. ]

Well don't jinx us, [ she scolds mildly, reaching over to lightly shove his arm. in the next second, she's drawing out a few carrot sticks from the pouch she'd brought along, holding one out to keats. ]

If you were a rabbit, would you find this appealing?

[headlining]

[He can't help but let out an amused huff when she scolds him - his expression turns momentarily mischievous, like he knows he's playing a good trick and he's enjoying every second of it.]

I'll try not to. [And now his face is back to the usual "grumpy journalist" look when he sees the carrot offered to him.]

No, as I am not a rabbit. But if we're playing pretend...well, perhaps. If they're not scared off by the human holding it. Rabbits are skittish creatures, you should know that.

[winces]

[ her eyes narrow faintly on that "you should know that comment"... what are you trying to imply, keats... that she is a skittish rabbit?! so what if her kigurumi happens to be a fluffy pink one, huh! ]

I'm not going to hold it out the entire time, [ now it's her turn to scoff. keats, pls. ] We'll lay some out in an open space and hide in the bushes, and when they get close enough, we'll pounce on them!

[ perfect plan, A+, genius ]

[headlining]

[This is the worst plan he has ever heard.]

...Right. And what's the actual plan? Don't tell me that the plan you just told me is the real one, because, well, you'll be out here for years trying to catch one of those things if it is.

[winces]

[ wow?? ]

I-I don't see you coming up with any better one...!

[ which means yes, yes that was the real plan. ]

[headlining]

[This little quest is already turning out terribly, and they haven't even really started it yet. Honestly, now he's glad he came, else she would be running around trying to catch rabbits for days.]

[His hand moves up to his chin as he thinks.]

Well, if we see one, I suppose I could just freeze it in place so it won't run away...

[winces]

[ she blinks a little.





then pouts sullenly. ]

Cheater.

[headlining]

What? [HOLD ON NOW, OLIVIA, DON'T JUDGE HIM] How is that cheating?! That's a perfectly fine way of catching rabbits!

[winces]

It's not fair when you have powers!

[ she's two seconds away from kicking a pebble, probably. ]

[headlining]

I don't have powers! They're just- [He's floundering here, because this is the same damn thing he always goes up against - he doesn't believe in magic and yet he uses magic far too casually at the same time.] Ugh, come on, it's better than using pure chance to catch one of those things!

[winces]

[ look at her casually ignoring his obvious desire not to talk about it. what a jerk. ]

So if they're not powers, what are they?

[headlining]

[He digs his hands deeper into his pockets, lowering his head, like a turtle trying its best to go back into his shell.]

They're whatever you'd like them to be. I could care less.

[winces]

So...

[ silence for a few seconds, as olivia just looks at him. ]

Magic.

[headlining]

[Keats just raises his shoulders, his expression and tone so grumpy you could confuse him for a crotchety old man.]

No.

[It's accompanied with a very displeased grumble. Olivia, please.]

...I hope you're not going to catch the sparrows with your bare hands, too.

[winces]

I was thinking of using seeds for them, [ she replies breezily. ] Of course I'd be saved using up all my seeds if I had magic freezing powers...

[headlining]

[He shoots her a glare.]

Hardy har har. Very funny. But seeds won't work. [And he murmurs:] And they're not magical.

[winces]

How do you know? Have you spoken to these sparrows? Are these sparrows your friends?

[headlining]

Because birds are birds and are practically impossible to sneak up on, that's how I know. [He scoffs.] As if sparrows could talk.

[winces]

I don't know, I mean I had a conversation with a robin, once.

[ GEDDIT ]

[headlining]

Did you now. [GUESS WHO HAS TWO THUMBS AND DOESN'T BELIEVE YOU, OLIVIA? THIS GUY.]

[winces]

[ OH GEE THE MAGICAL NAY-SAYER OF MAGIC DOESN'T BELIEVE IN TALKING ANIMALS WOW WHAT A SHOCKER ]

I did and he was quite nice! I'm sure sparrows will be even nicer.

[headlining]

Oh, then, please, go ahead, tell me how that works out later. [GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP.] I'm sure they'll want to throw a party with you. A little bird party. Which won't happen because birds don't have parties.

[are you even listening to yourself, you nerd]

[winces]

[ she pauses suddenly, turning to face him fully with doe-wide eyes. ]

You're not coming with me?

[ ................... ;A; ]

[headlining]

What? No! No, I'm...I'm going to stay with you and watch so I can laugh about it later.

[Don't give him that look, Olivia!!]

...Okay, but I mean, seriously, you have to approach this in a smarter way.