Sieglinde Sullivan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
grunehexe) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
epidemiology2016-06-23 08:56 pm
grunehexe) wrote in epidemiology2016-06-23 08:56 pm
i'm losing blood, i'm gonna leave my bones
CHARACTERS: Sieglinde & visitors (mostly current CR but wanderers welcome)
DATE: Four days after the return to Oska, weeks following
WARNINGS: Potential squicky feet stuff
SUMMARY: A bedridden witch would appreciate some company
[The pain becomes a bit more manageable each day. Some people might say a doctor should never be their own patient, but Sieglinde was managing her own regimen, dosing herself with herbs to reduce the swelling, taking teas to numb the pain, and let sleep come a bit easier. She could have fixed it in an instant with magic...
But it was bad enough she had asked Masamune to rebreak her feet so that she could realign the bones and attempt to return the twisted and damaged muscles, tendons, and nerves back to something resembling their original position. Bad enough that she'd taken away the proof of her ignorance, an act that to her seemed just as if she was trying to hide what she'd done.
Pain was the least she could accept in return.
She wouldn't be able to put an ounce of weight on them for quite some time, even tightly bandaged and splinted though they were, and even after weeks, she knew she'd have to relearn how to walk, unable to remember well what it was like, the way one walked when you had a heel, and sole, and toes in play. But at least it was in Oska, somewhere... relatively safe.
And at least she had books, and visitors. Even though she hadn't told a single person her plan beforehand, she couldn't exactly hide it once it was all said and done... and she had requests. Like meals, and books from the library, and entertaining company. She occupies her time in that manner, curling carefully in bed so as not to twist or put pressure on her healing limbs, pouring over her most recent spellbook and occasionally getting ink all over her sheets writing notes. Chatting with those recruits she knew, as if she hadn't done what she had. Testing how her bones were healing, how the swelling was doing.
Wondering if today was the day she actually felt less doubt about what she'd done.]
DATE: Four days after the return to Oska, weeks following
WARNINGS: Potential squicky feet stuff
SUMMARY: A bedridden witch would appreciate some company
[The pain becomes a bit more manageable each day. Some people might say a doctor should never be their own patient, but Sieglinde was managing her own regimen, dosing herself with herbs to reduce the swelling, taking teas to numb the pain, and let sleep come a bit easier. She could have fixed it in an instant with magic...
But it was bad enough she had asked Masamune to rebreak her feet so that she could realign the bones and attempt to return the twisted and damaged muscles, tendons, and nerves back to something resembling their original position. Bad enough that she'd taken away the proof of her ignorance, an act that to her seemed just as if she was trying to hide what she'd done.
Pain was the least she could accept in return.
She wouldn't be able to put an ounce of weight on them for quite some time, even tightly bandaged and splinted though they were, and even after weeks, she knew she'd have to relearn how to walk, unable to remember well what it was like, the way one walked when you had a heel, and sole, and toes in play. But at least it was in Oska, somewhere... relatively safe.
And at least she had books, and visitors. Even though she hadn't told a single person her plan beforehand, she couldn't exactly hide it once it was all said and done... and she had requests. Like meals, and books from the library, and entertaining company. She occupies her time in that manner, curling carefully in bed so as not to twist or put pressure on her healing limbs, pouring over her most recent spellbook and occasionally getting ink all over her sheets writing notes. Chatting with those recruits she knew, as if she hadn't done what she had. Testing how her bones were healing, how the swelling was doing.
Wondering if today was the day she actually felt less doubt about what she'd done.]
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But the rest... it wasn't something easily put into words without knowing certain details about her life that she'd not told anyone but perhaps two in all of ALASTAIR. If he wanted that, it would need coaxing, but the admission to how she felt- that she had been a burden...
Sieglinde's gaze dropped to the bumps under her covers that were her feet.]
They shall need tending, of course... I change the bandages each day and replace the poultices, tighten the splints... I suppose in a while I will try and test if I managed to align tendons correctly... I do not think I can recover most of the feeling in them, though, they have been bound too long for that...
[She knew that wasn't what he meant, but it was easier than the full truth. That she'd hoped unbinding her feet would help her feel free from her past, from the mother who had lied to her and done it to her in the first place... and instead, she'd largely felt only guilt for seeking to change something she'd come to see as the price she paid for ignorance.]
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they were softer, made a story easier to deal with. she was becoming a fine liar, better at omission than rhetoric, Loki found. he had secrets of his own, and while he felt like there were those that he could pry from her, today would not be that day. while there were no qualms in manipulating information out of a bed ridden girl, a pang in his stomach tells him that it may be too cruel.
thus, he heeds it. ]
You've traveled through various worlds, and begun the journey into sorcery.
[ a heartbeat. ]
What I mean to say is ... we may find something yet.
[ there's a very important "we" there that he tries to hide. ]
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Just because they'd crumbled didn't mean she didn't remember painstakingly well what it had been like, when it was grand and true.
When it had been "I", and not "we".
That draws her gaze from her feet to Loki's face, searching briefly for something there before she tried to smile, to express something that wasn't guilt or self-loathing, managing a faint turn up in the corners of her lips.]
That is right... One never knows what can be found out in the world. Let alone worlds.
[She'd already seen more than she'd ever dreamed of from her tower bedroom with her broken little feet, the sort of things only books and tales could offer.]
... If we never find anything, though, that is fine. I will be alright even if they stay somewhat broken.
[In fact, she'd likely prefer it that way- however masochistic such desires were.]
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he's not used to having friends, or people he cares about. ]
Choice is the most important thing, isn't it? Broken or fixed—ah, who cares? You decide for yourself, first, last and always.
[ no matter what she decides. even if he ended up trekking her around, or she could support herself. it was her decision to make, and her decision to live with. he wouldn't constrict it with meaningless advice for a future yet to be written. ]
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It seemed like something that could change at any moment. You wake up one morning thinking you were the the lord of a village with devoted servants, and at the end of the night everything you knew had turned out to be a lie, you've been shot at, almost murdered, and all your handmaidens killed before they killed you.
Or you were a god of chaos and mischief one day, and the next...]
At least now I have plenty of time to devote to my studies?
[She managed to smile a bit wider, in better spirits, striving to see some sort of silver lining in the choices she'd made and was torn on regretting.]
The notes you left have been most helpful.
["Thank you".]
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[ it's good she didn't go into the realm of thank you directly, as there's only a few compliments that he knows how to take gracefully, usually hidden as self-depreciating nods. there's a certain satisfaction with passing down something to someone else, not as means of corruption, but defiance. ]
That's a given stipulation. There's no use if you're not causing someone trouble.
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Sieglinde just trusted he knew what she actually meant. He was better with words than her.]
... by tricking people into thinking I have not lost my hairbrush?
[Unfortunately, she was having trouble imagining how best to creatively use her abilities when they were still in their infancy. Fortunately, her mixed feelings on what she'd done to her feet hadn't completely ruined her humor.]
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[ there's a little whimsy to his voice that says he's pleased with the words and with her. there was no need to dive head-first into mush, and he guards those feelings with intensity. they're his, after all. ]
You do have a long time to think about what pranks are best to pull.
[ his lips curl up on each end, as if this were part of a grand scheme, and he turns on his heels toward the door. ]
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[A part of her didn't want him to go so soon, almost spoke up to that affect... but in the end, she didn't wish to appear so desperate for company as that, certainly not after what had happened on the island of the Dakal, but...]
- You will come by to check in on such efforts, I trust?
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[ it's an odd way of saying whenever you need me, but they don't fill their exchanges with pleases and thank yous. she can take from it what she likes, and call upon him when she needs it. he's poor at opening himself, and even poorer at letting those he cares about know he cares about them. ]
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I am amenable to that.
[Though she could never be fully comfortable making too many assumptions about others, never having had anyone in her life beyond her villagers to expose her to the ranges of behavior possible in people... she her her bouts of insight.
Knew enough to come up with other ways to say "thank you", and to say "I feel better when you're around".
Smiled, a little bit.]
I shall work on the hairbrush first, then.
[Next on the docket: Actually keeping the illusion solid even if someone else was looking at it.]
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he had been away from Asgard, avoiding going back because of his own bitter feelings and the knowledge that he cared what they thought. it was easier to run from it, and to keep himself away. ]
I expect topnotch from my best student.
[ your only student, Loki.
with a wave of his hand he slips through the doorway, as if it were entirely casual. ]
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