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Entry tags:

saitama (one-punch man)

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CHARACTERS: Saitama and anyone
DATE: Various days, spanning from when time shenans ended to now
WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: Time events aftermath. Saitama is super bummed after feeling remotely human and now back to feeling all inhuman and is wandering aimlessly, both literally and metaphorically. Various options within, good for old and new CR, it's not all that angsty, tbh, and people he didn't interact with in the time plot can hit this up! Paragraph to start, will match style of responder.

Saitama hadn't expected it to suck as much as it did when he returned back to normal.

All the cuts and bruises and pulled muscles and even an achy tooth he had been nursing during the time his body was younger was all gone. He was back to peak fitness and peak power, aka: peak ennui.

It was a familiar feeling, of course, but after the high that was being back to feeling human again, and knowing he could have fun in a fight once more, that he could break an arm, get a concussion, die, it was like he was starting at the bottom of the barrel again after said barrel had been at least half-filled when he was brought here.

He just had nothing here.

He has met some of the people here, but it was just casual meetings, no one he could call ~~friend~~acquaintance. He hadn't realized how much Genos had brought to the table to make Saitama's life less dull until this moment, and that somehow made him feel even worse. It wasn't like if he had acquaintances here he would go have a real talk with them about feelings--Saitama doesn't even speak honestly like that with Genos--but they could have been a distraction, at least.

That was the problem, there were none of his usual distractions. No coupons to clip, no fliers to hunt out for sales, no stores to shop at, no manga to read, no news to watch, no monsters that liked to randomly show up for whatever reason to take care of. But he couldn't just stay in his room and just lay around staring at the ceiling--well, no, he did do that for a day or two but that got too boring, so he finally ventured out to find things to do.

Anyone running into him will find him even more unemotive than before, obviously lost in some sort of thought or quietly caught in the storm of doldrums that is a sad existential crisis. They may care about it, they may not care and he's just in their way of something, maybe they want to troll him, any option is open.

Places to find him:
A] Kitchen
He could eat the food already made, but he's looking through any sort of cabinet he can find, trying to see if there was any food like from back home that he could make himself. It was all well and good there was food ready to have, but cooking was one of the few things he could do for himself and it would be good to keep his idle hands busy at this moment. He flitted from one cabinet to the other, beat up cape flapping almost angrily in the air as he grows more and more frustrated at his lack of finding anything he actually wanted to make.

To no one in particular, he grumbled as he was shoulders deep into an empty cupboard, as if getting that close in it he would magically find what he was looking for. "Are you serious, I know there's Japanese people here and there isn't even any udon stocked?!"

B] Greenhouse
Pretty simple scene to find him in here: he got too close to a carnivorous plant and his arm was currently stuck tight in its mouth. He could easily destroy this thing and get it out, but the way some of the ALASTAIR crew were treating the plants as he was wandering through he got the impression no one would be happy if he did that.

So . . . he just stood there, standing like he was waiting for a bus to take him to work on a Monday morning, with his arm in the sappy, slightly-acidic maw of a meat-eating plant, just waiting for the plant to give up first.

C] Library
Saitama had no interest in novels. He definitely has no interest in anything nonfiction. He was on a single-minded search for comics, any comics. He doesn't care if it's some weird comic from an alien planet 2000 years in the past, as long as it was a comic and somewhat entertaining he would take it.

He was, however, both too grumpy and too embarrassed to want to ask for help finding anything so he just trawled the shelves for himself. First just walking briskly through the stacks, looking, then jumping from ladder to ladder in an attempt to look higher up.

At one point he got too excited thinking he had found something and accidentally knocked a bunch of books off the shelf from high up. Anyone below may see their life flash before their eyes before, in a flash, he caught all the books as they fell, landing on the ground holding them stacked cartoonishly high in his arms as he sighed in relief. He knew how scary librarians can be, he wouldn't want to mess up any books in THIS place. But he has no idea how to put them away in order...

But after a long while with no luck he wandered to a table in the reading area, utterly defeated, sat down in a chair and just lets his forehead thump down to the table and he just sat like that. And sat.

And sat.

D] Hot springs
Another simple one: sitting in the water, sunk down to up to his nose, staring at the sky, or turned around with arms on the rocks, chin pillowed on them as he watched and poked at a crawling beetle, as if it had all the answers he sought.

Sitting in a warm bath definitely is a quiet spot to dwell on your existential crisis with a almost creepily stoic face, right?

E] Wildcard
Saitama can be found wandering just about literally anywhere if you want your character to run into him or spot him staring into the distance or have him literally run into them as they pass each other because he's so lost in his own thoughts it's hard to be polite and step out of the way. If you have any ideas for a scene and want to pass it by me, PM me or hit me up on plurk!

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While it isn't comparable to the plants and breath of fresh air one gets from being outside, (not that a robot can taste a breath of fresh air), the Greenhouse is certainly home to more variety of plants than he would see outside. So many colors, and different types of blooming flowers, along with hissing and snarling vines, who drip poison with their touch.

One as such that seems to be... gnawing on Saitama's arm. He can tell from here that it's burning the other's skin, and yet the expression on his face is closer to boredom than anything.

Floating closer, Zenyatta keeps a small distance, just in case, but waves a hand in a circular motion. "Greetings, Saitama. Are you... alright?"

He was so lost in his blank, circular thoughts that he didn't even sense another person approaching. Hearing the greeting, it took him half a second to respond, tearing his stare away from the giant plant to the robot nearby. "Oh, hi . . . Bennygatta." That was his name, right? Close enough, at least.

Bennygatta is seriously the most wrong anyone has ever gotten his name. Wow.

"Zenyatta," he corrects, more concerned over the fact Saitama seems so out of it right now. Like... is his arm okay?? It seems okay, but...

"Do you... require assistance?"

He can get it more wrong, don't worry.

"Oh, uhh," he glanced back at the plant, trying to decide if he needed help or not. The plant probably would need the assistance more than him. "It's not a big deal. I have nothing else to do, really."

"Really? Nothing else to do than be bitten by a plant?" Zenyatta's tone holds a somewhat subdued amusement, the kind one would give a child who was being particularly petulant.

"Then, would you like something to do? I promise, it will be more entertaining than this."

He seemed to perk up a little at the promise of something to do, enough to actually pay attention to Zenyatta rather than the plant. He should have been doing that anyway, as simple manners dictate, but, y'know, Saitama and all.

"What do ya have in mind?" he asked, because depending on what he suggested, Saitama may actually still choose waiting to see how long it took for this plant to get bored of him and release his arm.

"Some errands. Is standing here and waiting really potentially more entertaining than accompanying me?" Come on, now. He knows that the sheer fact he's a robot is not common in everyone's world. That has to count for something, yes?

Unfortunately, Zenyatta isn't quite the sort of robot that would get his excitement going. Maybe if he was 10 stories high with lots of cool guns like from an anime. But he is a little curious about what possible errands someone could have in a place like this, where so much was already provided for you.

He thought over the offer for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay. You know how to get an arm out of a plant like this?"

"Is it attached that much?" Zenyatta asks, putting his feet on the ground so that he can get closer to the plant. "Perhaps we can pry it open." Seriously, how you get yourself into this situation, Saitama?

By getting too close to poke at it, of course.

"I don't know, it's not hurting but that doesn't mean much." He gestured at him to get closer and try to do what he suggested. "I could get it out, but I was scared I'd kill it." A low whisper, "I didn't want to piss off the gardeners."

"I see. Alright. I will return shortly."

And in that time, Zenyatta returns to his levitation, and floats away, towards a part of the Greenhouse that can't been seen. Shortly, he returns, now with a rather large piece of... "meat."

"Please stay away from this," he says quickly to Saitama, as he places it on the table nearby the plant. It'll need to let go of Saitama's arm to devour said meat, and hopefully, it realizes the difference between an easy meal, and an impossible one.

He waited until his return, and quirked an eyebrow at his plan. "What is that? Raw meat?" he looked at it then back to the plant. "I don't know how smart it is. It doesn't have eyes or a nose, does it?" He started bending this way and that, looking for any sort of orifice.

After a few seconds he felt it start to stir, turning slowly toward the table. "Oops..."

"Plants are often more intelligent than given credit for," he hums, and waits for the plant to choose the lumps of raw meat over Saitama's are. He can't imagine Saitama's arm, without any puncture wounds or something, is very appetizing, either.

"It should release you in just a moment."

It took longer than Saitama was pleased about for the plant to turn toward the raw meat, and as soon as he felt the flower opening its, uh, "mouth" he yanked his arm out.

Well, that was what he intended, but the maw wasn't open just wide enough yet and Saitama accidentally tore its, uh, "head" right off at the stem. The momentum of his arm swinging back propelled the flower off his arm and smacking right into a work table across the greenhouse.

He stood there, gawking at the poor flower stem that started to droop, his arm hanging out parallel from his body, covered in the tatters of his sleeve that the plant's digestive juices hadn't gotten to yet. Finally, he uttered, "Oops."

Zenyatta watches. If only for the fact he literally cannot have his eyes bug out, staring. He remains just as expressionless as he was before, but now paired with an incredible silence.

"... oops?"

Did he just fucking say OOPS to ripping off this plant's head? Like, it was an accident?

"Yeah," he answered, rubbing the back of his head with the freed arm that shows no sign of harm to the actual limb itself. "Didn't mean to do that. . ."

Zenyatta glances across the greenhouse table, where the poor plant's head now leaks out fluids, and then to the piece of raw meat on the table, which will probably be eaten by some other nearby cannibalistic plant.

"I can say that in all my life, I have not seen something like this before. You did this, without even trying, and you had not moved earlier, because you did not want to hurt it. Yes?"

Edited 2016-09-20 02:43 (UTC)

"For a robot you must lead a boring life then," he stated. That plant was like a 2 on the weirdness scale for Saitama. He shrugged, not sure what Zenyatta is getting at. "Yeah, I was trying to avoid that. It was my fault for poking at it in the first place, anyway."

"I do not." But that's not the point. It's not about the plant.

It's the fact that that was very acidic liquid that pours from the plant's mouth. It was the fact that, despite being a monk, and despite rejecting his programing that would have made him into a perfect foot soldier- it's obvious to him that Saitama could do the very same to more than just a plant. He could rip a person's head off as well, with just as little effort.

"Well."

He glances towards where he picked up the meat from, and then back to Saitama.

"I think we should be leaving, before the greenhouse maintenance find us."

He nodded furiously at his suggestion. He was truly more worried about the workers getting mad about it than anything. This place was a much smaller community than back home, and surely the people that brought him here would keep better tabs on him than the uncaring populace of a whole world or Hero Association and he would suffer more consequences for wanton, if accidental, destruction.

He wove his hands at Zenyatta as if shooing him out, following right behind. Once further along the long length of the greenhouse, approaching the door, he felt safe enough to ask, "So what errands can you even have at a place like this?"

Zenyatta floats his way out- in his normal, casual speed. What, you want him to speed up? Going to have to pull him along like a balloon then, because Zenyatta has only one pace, and it's I'll Get There Eventually.

"Contrary to what most believe, they do not provide us with everything we should need here. Sometimes you must request it, or look for a means of obtaining it yourself. I would prefer to look for myself before asking for assistance. Having someone look with me would be greatly appreciated." Now, it might sound like he's been planning to look for someone to help him for a while- but no. He was intending on searching on his own, even browsing the greenhouse when he saw Saitama.

Now, he doesn't know Saitama too well. Knows he speaks Japanese, knows he's very calm, and now knows he's very powerful. And also, somehow, content enough to let a plant gnaw on his arm for quite some time. Someone who is very bored, and will benefit from something like a treasure hunt, here. If only Zenyatta had actually written out a solid list of what he needs. Oh well. Too late now.

"I need something to carry items in, and several clean bottles to fill with water. Ah, also a small blanket and a pack of matches."

He listened to him, making note that he could make request for things. Maybe he could get some noodles up in this joint or something. His list of items, however, makes his brows scrunch up, then one eyebrow quirk up.

"You planning on going camping or something?" he asked, because that's the only reason he can think someone would need all those things. If it wasn't camping, he isn't sure what weirdness he wants to find out all that stuff would actually be for.

"Going camping." He repeats, and then chuckles to himself. "Oh no."

But Saitama wouldn't know, would he? He's new here. Although only new by so much.

"The last place we were, before your arrival in Oska, was a tundra, which turned into a swamp, into open fields, into a desert, and finally, a jungle," Zenyatta replies, just as level as ever in his tone. "The only thing I will need for myself is perhaps, additional clothes, should we wind up in a colder temperature once more. I am self-sufficient, otherwise. But the humans here..." he pauses, glances back towards Saitama, and then continues forward.

"Most are not so lucky. Things like heat, clean water, and light are needed. I believe that in the end, the Iris will welcome us all, but I do not think we should greet it prematurely by being ill-prepared."

He knew they were going on a "mission" or whatever soon, so he figured out that's what Zenyatta is referring to, but any details about the mission is going to fly over his head because he so did not read the stuff he was given. "The who will welcome us? And are they really sending us to some other world or whatever without supplies that you have to scavenge them up?"

Like, really now, the least ALASTAIR can do is provide one matchbook here. He doesn't seem too worried about possible harm to come from being in the cold with no matches or anything like that, however. He preferred to be comfortable, of course, but he's not suffered harm from cold yet, and he's definitely not scared of the dark.

Oh, Saitama. Please read the information...

"I prefer to scavenge," which uh. Take as you will. But he really does prefer to use what he can, rather than be given things. Such is the life of someone who is trying to be Above material possessions.

As they continue to head back towards the main castle, "Perhaps... you should think of ALASTAIR less like a business, and more like a non-profit organization, who sends volunteers abroad. Although we are less 'volunteering' than one might ideally have, we are sent somewhere in need of our assistance, and our payment is in whatever requests we have of ALASTAIR." It's the best comparison he can think of, at least. He's done essentially the same thing before, although less planned, and more 'just showing up to a village that needed some help, so he helped out for a bit before moving on.'

"I have, admittedly, not been one to prepare much for the future. But I also feel more..." Zenyatta drops off to think of a moment, "...responsible, I suppose, for the wellbeing of more individuals here."

That's a hopeless wish, he will never. Another reason it's sad he lacks a Genos to be informed for him.

"I'm cool with not being paid or anything, I didn't used to get paid for what I did back home until I joined the Hero's Association." And he still didn't quite like being paid for heroing as much as he was being paid. There shouldn't be an incentive like that to do good deeds for someone. At most he used to accept food donations, and that was sort of like what was going on here, he supposed. "I just hoped they wouldn't throw people here out to the dogs without even granola bar, you know?" His choice of words were telling: he wasn't so much worried about himself as others, like Zenyatta.

"Feel like you gotta do that 'coz you're a monk?" he asked.

Hero's Association'? Something he'll need to ask about later.

"I do not know if that is what they intend to do or not. I received minimal food supplies before being sent to Zeta-12."

He does note that Saitama seems to feel the same way he does, though. He's beginning to doubt if Saitama is entirely human. "But when watching after yourself, you watch after others. When watching after others, you watch after yourself. I do not do it out of some obligation, but because I want to. Although, I sometimes think a little too much, over those reasons... There are individuals here that I grow fonder of with each passing day."

Which for most, isn't really a problem. But for a monk whose beliefs stem from a concept that to reach total tranquility, one must not have any attachments, it's troubling.

Edited 2016-09-21 12:15 (UTC)

"You probably didn't get many food supplies 'cause you're a robot," he pointed out. "I'm guessing you don't need to eat food. At least, you don't seem to have a mouth for it." After a beat a terrible thought entered his mind of where else on a robot body someone could intake food, and he hopes Zenyatta doesn't show him this if this was the case. Ever.

"That's good. You've made friends," he says, his tone sounding flat about it. Made sense (other) people would start making bonds when forced together like this, there was no surprise there for Saitama.

"You are correct, I do not need to eat. But they had no means of knowing that." Unless the studied up on omnics before bringing him in, and he doubts that. Also, that's a fucked up thing to think about a guy you don't know intimately, Saitama.

With how flat the other's tone is, it almost sounds like sarcasm or a dry joke. But from what he can tell of Saitama so far, it isn't. It's true apathy, which is certainly more worrying than a poor sense of humor. "I am sure everyone here has made at least one friend," Zenyatta replies, confidently.

Loki's good at finding abandoned places when he wants to be alone, but sometimes he's not the only one with the same idea. The hot springs, steaming and welcoming, are still in the moment between being forgotten from the temporary infestation of insects, and the rush that may come soon after. He had been avoiding almost everyone, more especially, those that he knew.

It's a surprise when he heads to the springs, towel in hand, to find them already occupied.

Instead of asking politely if there was room, he finds somewhere adjacent to sink into, making sure to create a huffy little wave of Loki-branded petulance directly at Saitama.

"Did you fart?"

Saitama barely registered someone was entering the spring. The pool was big enough, a second person wasn't trespassing on him and is solitary thoughts. He just keeps on leaning on the spring's rocky edge, letting a ladybug crawl onto his hand and turning his appendage this way and that as the bug took a journey over his skin.

It took a second or two for Loki's words to sink in, but once they do he replied in an inattentive tone, "If you farted just own up to it, don't blame it on strangers."

"You either did or you didn't, I've made no accusation by lifting my finger."

It was partially a joke, partially a jab. There were those that the mention of some body functions that spiked and denied it venomously, even when blame was still up in the air, and there were those that cared very little about it, and then there were people like Saitama.

While he's a little sore his barb didn't hit the mark, he doesn't seem to care much of ... well, farting.

"Uh-huh..."

And then there were people like Saitama was a good way to put it. He was too pragmatic to be offended by an accusation, especially since surely he had farted in the spring earlier.

But, still, this accusation was suspicious. He turned his blasée expression to him, eyebrow quirking, perhaps a familiar face to Loki, if only he had hair to tip him off more. "Were you hoping to chase me out of the springs so you could be alone?"

Leaning back, Loki pushes his fingers back through his own hair, slicking it back. Being a sorcerer meant that sometimes he had a little inclination to use some of his powers for vanity, and his hair was certainly one of those things. It sticks against his cheeks perfectly, the rest wet and styled, despite being in a hot springs.

"No, but sometimes people say interesting things when they're accused of certain social no-nos."

It's surprisingly honest.

Using hair vanity tricks is an art very much lost on Saitama. And if he knew someone was using magic or whatever to do such a think he would probably be an asshole and pity them very much, and tell them so directly.

The social experiment that Loki is presenting actually does intrigue him a little, however. "Really? What's the most interesting thing someone's said to you?"

People who valued the physical over sorcery always did, he had grown up with it.

Casual, easy, and as if he hadn't schemed up anything at all, Loki sinks into the heat, letting dark lashes flutter down over his eyes. "Hm?" he starts, before continuing. "Ah—well, I don't use the same line every time, that would get predictable and I'd go stale. It's less about what they say, and more the reaction that they give.

"The look of pure offense on someone's face will beat huffy indignation every time."

"Ah, I see," he replied, leaning back against the edge, nodding smartly. "You're a troll, aren't ya?" That was what those people called themselves online, right?

"Ab-so-lutely." Why deny it at this point? Getting people to react to something outrageous was somewhat satisfying in its own way. It didn't change much, not even how people tended to react to him.

"Did I give it away?" he says in a voice that knows he absolutely did.

"Almost immediately," he answered, cupping his hands in the water to squirt water from between them, a little something to keep his hands busy as he chatted, "saying how you like to tell people they farted to see how they react. If you were trying to be subtle about being a troll I think you need to work better at it." He advised like he knew anything about trolling or subtlety; he knew nothing about either.

The admission doesn't seem to bother him, and instead he sinks a little lower, until he's up to his ears in water.

"Oh? You have experience?"

He doubts it, but he does ask anyway.

"Can't say, that'd be giving it away, right?" he smirked, feeling clever. Though, truth of the matter was he was usually accidentally a troll, but he was known to be a bit of a sassy asshole from time to time just to get a rise from people.

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