CLOSED.

[selfimage]

CHARACTERS: Loki & the people who put up with him
DATE: Around the beginning of Perdition's Rest
WARNINGS: BE CAREFUL, but I'll add anything if it comes up.
SUMMARY: Shenanigans.

note: closed prompts below! I will be as slow as a turtle in molasses. If you need/want me for anything, or would like a prompt just let me know! go ahead and PM this journal, or reach me at hadal. xoxox

Comments

[dailydouble]

I could hardly give or deny you permission to feel what you will.

[ if he's being honest about it, what Ahad's truly feeling is uncertainty. Jealousy feels too close to possession, but why would anyone be jealous over something they know he gives freely? ]

[selfimage]

[ for Loki it's always been more complicated than that: his jealousy comes from his own feelings of inadequacy. where he's charming, he's a failure; where he's clever, he's broken; the list goes on, and never stops short of those traits he holds himself confident. ]

Then I reserve the right.

[ and he gets a tad bit puffy about it. ]

[dailydouble]

Whatever.

[ It's not dismissive, but there's something final about it. This isn't quite an argument, but it's bordering on one. ]

[selfimage]

[ for a moment, his green eyes slide to the side, but it doesn't seem like he's given up on being jealous. ]

...

Does it bother you?

[ you know, since last time he hurt him.

so, he's trying. ]

[dailydouble]

No. [ Yes.

He'll sigh, more out of frustration over being called on to discuss his feelings than anything else. ]

...perhaps. I don't understand it.

[ Ahad's also not in the mood to clarify what he means by it. ]

[selfimage]

[ it's not a route that he wanted to go, and it's not a route that he entirely feels comfortable going. despite his own, personal discomfort, he remains where he is. ]

Ah, is that so? [ a hand goes to the back of Loki's neck and he rubs his fingers along it. ] Sometimes, I suppose, I rather like when you look at me.

[ don't make him say anymore. isn't this what they merged for? ]

[dailydouble]

[ There's a significant pause here. Much of that time is spent raising a perfectly incredulous eyebrow at Loki. ]

I do not intend to stop looking at you.

[selfimage]

[ there's a look that crosses his face like he's eaten something sour, not at the words themselves, but finding that he had to be sincere without laughing away his own insecurities. the discomfort sits in him heavy, but it's not bad for someone like him, who usually diverts emotions in more destructive (to others, and himself) ways. ]

Then it seems unfounded, doesn't it ...

[dailydouble]

[ Ahad's eyebrow twitches, in a perfect display of emotional repression. Loki's words may strike a cord, but he doesn't need to show that. ]

I would be a poor god of love, if I could not hold more than one in my heart at a time.

[ He sounds pained, as if that was ripped out of him against his will. ]

[selfimage]

[ sometimes he can place it perfectly, and sometimes it seems to wash away. other times, even as it's placed, he doesn't want to admit to it. even now there's discomfort, ones that he had forgotten come with being close to others, or perhaps, ones he never knew in the many cycles of his lives. ]

It's not meant to deny you that Ah, sometimes, I suppose ... [ a pause, as he goes over those words in his head. ] That it gets lonely.

[ even when it's not meant to, or that it is, specifically. Loki acts on some of his more desperate feelings, no matter how aware of them he seems to be during, or after the fact. ]

[dailydouble]

[ There's a sigh here, a real one. ] That is...not entirely what I meant.

Come here?

[selfimage]

[ there's a pause from Loki's end, and for a moment he contemplates. it's not often that Loki obliges (as sometimes he denies just because he can, being a god of chaos came with the occasional defiance), but he does when Ahad beckons him.

he moves in closer, not mirroring his sigh, but letting his own breath out through his lips. ]

[dailydouble]

[ It was a request, one that Ahad was ready to go either way. That Loki steps closer is something Ahad will take as a sign that they're not as badly off as they could be.

Of course, he uses this new closeness to pull Loki down into a kiss. ]

[selfimage]

[ and he comes willingly, despite. he can't quell the feelings in his chest, but he can let them melt beneath Ahad's lips. he's not as energetic as he usually is when their lips meet, instead it's replaced with a somberness.

sometimes, there's an ache, and it lashes out.

there were times when it had corrupted who he had been, what feels like a long time ago. ]

[dailydouble]

[ There is nothing of hesitance or uncertainty in the kiss. Despite the minor discomfort of this conversation, Ahad's feelings for Loki are as strong as they ever are. Even if he cannot say it, the kiss speaks well enough for him. ]

[selfimage]

[ Loki lingers a little, as if he's not quite sure that he wants to move away from what's offered. he has to, eventually, his lips brushing against the corner of Ahad's mouth as he stays close. his eyes dart over his shoulder, as if he were daring anyone to try to peep on them. ]

We were finding a room.

[dailydouble]

[ As always, they could have an audience of thousands and Ahad wouldn't care.

But when Loki pulls away, he lets him go easily enough. There's always an implied invitation to stay, but it isn't Ahad's way to hold on. ]

So we were.

[selfimage]

[ a hand does linger on him, as Loki tends to do. his touches always come with some yearning, as if he's searching for something that he's missing and that he's found. ]

Shall we?

[ he gives the invitation in turn, to find somewhere else to continue a little needed affection. ]

[dailydouble]

[ He's long in answering, as if something still doesn't sit well with him about this discussion. It remains unsettled, and this merely tables it for a short while. ]

Whatever.

[ But he does set off in a direction that will likely lead to more privacy. ]