epidemiology | [OPEN w/ closed prompts] i woke up thinking about Turkish drummers

[he looks genuinely surprised.] Disappointed? Why would I be? I said I'd train you, and now you've reached a point where I can't help you any further. The only way I'd be disappointed is if you gave up halfway.

[he scratches his chin thoughtfully] Unless you mean by how you're using your powers, but it's not my place to feel anything but friendly concern for your well-being. If you're sure you'll be safe, then it's fine.

[it's not fine, but it'll be for her to decide when it is or isn't.]

[ her expression crumples a bit at hat, lips pursing around a ready rebuttal — for, to olivia, it doesn't seem to be a matter of her progressing past his reach, but more that she's chosen to take a different route, whether wise or not.

she does not fully believe him, either, when he insists it is fine, feeling instead she has created a palpable ripple in the bond between them. she supposes, though, that she should be used to this at this point — for all her attempts to improve things, she has only created more problems in the long run.

her head dips, her own eyes now hidden behind her fringe. ]

...I will remember your training, [ she murmurs, knowing there may well be a time she will have to fall back on it. it would be too foolish, after all, to think her powers strong enough to mitigate all her emotions. ]

[he bows his head back at her.] Don't be so hard on yourself, Olivia-san. Whatever you're dealing with can be endured in time. And even if you don't think you need my help now, you'll always have it if you ask for it.

[he tilts his head up, eyes catching the light of the midafternoon sun. he may not know what she's thinking, but he's been around her enough to suspect.] My loyalties don't shift that easily.

[ funny how she is technically the empath here, yet he has still managed to masterfully figure out exactly what she needed to hear. though it isn't too hard, if one paid attention enough — her almost incessant desire to please, to improve... it only makes sense, then, that she would want nothing more than a person's approval.

glancing down at the gift in her hands, finally letting the full weight of it all sink in, there is not helping the tears that finally well up and fall. she is so very prone to crying that this itself may not be surprising...

but her lean in to hug him tightly might be. ]

Promise?

[he stiffens a bit in surprise, but relaxes a second later, reaching to pat her back like he would do to Ururu when she was distraught about something.] Hey, hey... I promise. We're a team here, aren't we?

[and then, realizing that's the sort of generic sentiment that might make things worse, despite it being how he refers to his own family, he adds:] And we're friends.

[it's such a difficult thing to say- not because he doesn't feel it, but because he can count on one hand how many people he can really trust to be his "friends." she's not the only one who expects people to turn and leave one day, either because he's stopped being useful, or he pushed too hard to achieve his goals, or because his power was too great and terrifying.

He may need to widen his definition of "friend" here.]

[ she sniffles, but somehow manages to keep any tears from falling... even without her magical intervention.

the hug is indulged in for a few moments longer, physical contact always such a balm to her frayed nerves. when she leaves back, she struggles for a smile again. actually manages one, if a little small and quivering. ]

Y-You know I'll be here for you too, right...? If you need it...

[ carefully, she turns the vial over in her hands, feeling now the true weight of it. ]

I know there... isn't really much I can do... but that doesn't mean I wouldn't try...!

That's not true. [his smile is genuinely sincere- a rarity from him.] I'd have had to finish out the rest of that mission with a broken arm without your help.

[granted, her healing abilities aren't the only thing about her, but he can't deny they're rather impressive.] There's plenty you can do to help me.

[he's still stinging from his dismissal of Orihime and what it cost her. he definitely won't make such a miscalculation again.]

[ he is a sweet man, perhaps possessing one of the kindest hearts she knows... not because he is without his faults or mistakes... but simply because he continues to try in spite of them.

carefully, she shifts a little closer, taking a seat beside him on that rock. the vial he'd given her she keeps safe between gentle hands. ]

Is there anything I can do to help you now?

[best that it's not said out loud. he'd wonder what he did to warrant such a thing, as if he can't even tell the difference between kindness and necessity. kindness didn't put Ichigo through the paces to play the role of a pawn in the war. necessity didn't tuck a drunk teenager into bed so she wouldn't be sleeping in the dirt.

oh to be the kind of person who can't separate his personal whims from the things he does to achieve results.

which side of himself- it's always a duality with him- is really considering Olivia's words. necessity or kindness.]

Well, I'm sure I can come up with something~ [it's a gentle teasing- because he could. he could give her task after task if he wanted to be a lazy bum, but he'll be gentler than that.] But since I already have you out here, how about we try a different sort of lesson? I can still help you, after all, and that's its own reward for me.

[he does so enjoy seeing people get stronger. that one, at least, is a happy medium between those two sides.]

Edited 2017-01-16 03:19 (UTC)

A different sort..?

[ in truth, olivia finds herself torn between the path she'd decided to take upon coming here, and the path they originally set out for together before all this. she cannot decide yet if it is her own sensibilities or guilt keeping her from fully committing... but those are thoughts she can muddle through on her own later. ]

How do you mean?

You seemed interested in translating dance to combat. [he holds up a finger, just in case her kneejerk response is to protest that she'd only been thinking idly.] It wouldn't be the sort of combat you're thinking of. You're not a killer, Olivia-san, and I could never ask you to be.

[teaching her to harden her heart a bit to keep the world from hurting her is one thing. this is something entirely different.]

[ perhaps it is relief that urahara is looking for in his assessment. instead, olivia can only bite down on her lip guiltily.

she thinks of the future the time bugs had shown her. the past she'd fallen out of before finding herself here. ]

...I will kill, though. My home does not remain a peaceful one... [ and considering the missions she's been a part of thus far... she doubts her stay with alastair will be one either. ]

Well, if you do, that will be your choice and not something I'd force on you. [he leans down to pluck at some grass at the base of the rock they're sitting on.] Normally, when I teach others how to get stronger, I specifically cater to why they want to fight. If I know that they'll hold back because they're afraid of killing, then I tell them that they must have the resolve to kill, even if they don't intend to.

But I don't think you're afraid of it.

[ he has her there. the conflict back home with the mad king gangrel... it hadn't been as large or as devastating as she knows the fight with grima to be. but she had still killed. still raised the sword basilio had given her to do what she had to do.

she isn't afraid of it, no... and that's exactly why she worries. ]

I don't like it, [ she says, as if she felt she had to clarify here. ] And it's certainly the last thing I ever saw myself doing, even with I stayed with Khan Basilio and his soldiers...

[ but she's a soldier now too. even here, as a recruit... even after so many months distracting herself with her healing, and now her empathy... she knows she'll have to take up a blade again eventually. at this point, prolonging it just seems irresponsible and selfish. ]

But it doesn't torture me, like it might others. [ she thinks of papyrus, she thinks of dipper. all the other younger ones in audentes, and those with far gentler and purer hearts than hers. ]

I can handle it. If it means someone else won't have to, then I will.

That's what I thought you'd say. [Olivia's never struck him as a pacifist, so much as a very sensitive soul who would rather avoid a fight than engage. He can relate to that, knowing his own tendency to lose his heart to the thrill of battle and get swept away in it. Someone who lets her emotions rule her, especially someone who can simply use her powers to remove her worry, might have a similar unease about putting her all into a battle.

But just because you don't like to fight or kill doesn't mean you can't or won't.]

I thought it over after the ball, and it occurred to me that your natural abilities as a dancer can suit a very particular style of combat, and it's just as easy to use it to subdue as it is to kill.

[especially when you're not strong enough to physically crack bones with your blows.]

[ perhaps it is curious, that the thing to cut olivia up more is not the fact that she has killed before — but the fact that what she had been so certain was the right choice (helping out felix, odette) turned out to be inaccurate. or, at the very least, disagreed with. it was far easier to do terrible things surrounded by people who agreed it was necessary... than do a seemingly goo thing in the face of people who disapproved.

what, if anything, did that say about her? ]

What is it?

[ at this point, she has already made the decision to learn. ]

It's a type of unarmed combat we call "hakuda." [granted, teaching a shinigami technique to a human has its own number of flaws, but the basics can be suitably translated, especially when he needs to adapt her own talents to it.] With your size and grace, you wouldn't need a weapon at all to fight- or, at the very most, only a small one.

[and then, casually:] Some of the most lethal women I know can fend off opponents without touching a blade at all.

[ gosh, where does she even begin? for one as naturally curious as olivia, she cannot help but latch onto even the littlest of details that he gives. for all that she feels she knows about urahara... she realizes there is still so very little that she actually does. ]

Is that... common, [ she ventures gently, tentatively. ] Fighting in your world?

It's one of the three major combat styles for shinigami. [everything he says, all this new information, he says idly, like it's not a big deal, like he doesn't even know how much of himself he's kept private.

and there's more he isn't saying, of course. he doesn't admit to being a master of all three, and he doesn't mention why he's particularly skilled at this one.] There is quite a lot of fighting, and everyone has their own way of going about it, but it's part of our job.

[not so much his job anymore, being an exile and all. he leaves fighting hollows, for the most part, to the young.]

Edited 2017-01-19 20:30 (UTC)

[ she remembers what he told her of that term — shinigami. she remembers what it is, and what it means, but she also realizes she does not... know much else about it. ]

Since when do Souls have jobs...?

[he laughs, lightly.] The ones powerful enough to call themselves "shinigami" do. And a few Souls beyond that, actually. It would get terribly dull if all those Souls hadn't nothing to do, don't you think?

[but most people believe the afterlife is a peaceful place, not a place plagued with famine and monsters and squalor where you might never see your friends or family again, and, even more tragically, forget them after some time.]

[ she tilts her head, struggling to understand. ]

But a job that would require trained fighting? Is there a lot of discontent in this world of souls?

[his shoulders tense a bit as he gets closer to the harsh truths of all this.] Shinigami are protectors both inside and outside of Soul Society. They help souls who have failed to cross over reach their final destination, and purify souls that have become corrupt and have started wreaking havoc on the living world.

Those sorts of corrupted souls can even occur within Soul Society's borders and there can always be unrest among other souls, so... you could say it's not always comfortable.

[or ever comfortable if you get stuck in a crap part of the Rukongai.]

Edited 2017-01-24 23:04 (UTC)

[ she notes his tension, but notes more that he continues talking. urahara is a smart man, and has wormed his way out of discussion before. if he is nearly as old as she thinks he is, as he sometimes implies he is, then he's had more than enough years under his belt to know how to avoid this very thing should he want to.

she takes the fact that he hasn't tried to yet to mean he doesn't mind it. ]

You must have held a very high rank, then.

[ the details of his world, this soul society, is still mostly murky to her. but she knows his strength — witnessed at least a portion of it back on zeta-12, and she knows what he is capable of through his offerings. unless all souls in his world were that strong, she has to think he is at least quite high among them. ]

[he smiles, humbly, though a tad strained. he's said a lot just now, more than he really expected to, but Soul Society is hardly one big secret...

who he was there and why he is no longer that person... well, that gets complicated.] You make too much of me, Olivia-san. I'm only a man, really.

[OPEN w/ closed prompts] i woke up thinking about Turkish drummers

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