[ there's a defensiveness that doesn't come down all the way. if anything, every short, blunt statement he has to offer about kylo ren seems to push her walls up higher. everything he says is true, yet she can hardly hear it right now over the din of her own hope, and—

and loneliness. yes, the loneliness is the chief culprit for her blindness.

when he mentions leia, she presses her eyes shut and turns slightly away, fighting back the frustrating rush of emotion that — well, it's most frustrating because it makes it impossible for her to enjoy the pleasant hum of her skin, the superiority, the assuredness about her path. she was supposed to be doing this for leia. hearing that reiterates that really … this path she's on right now … it's only for herself.

it allows the rest to penetrate. slowly, she looks back at finn, a softness about her. a softness he hasn't seen since this conversation began. ]

I'll never push you away. Finn, you're the only person in this world that I know I can trust. [ and it was for that very reason that she'd felt so afraid of losing him. ] If you say Poe's worried, then I believe you. But … it didn't look that way to me. It looked like he hated me.