[ It had seemed like a great idea at the time. Taking care of cute baby birds all day? Sign her right up!
As it turns out, there's nothing remotely cute about baby falcons. They're covered in mottled fuzz, half of it growing into unsightly feathers and the other half looking for all the world like grey dandelion fuzz, and they bite hard at any stray finger that might end up too close to their pointy beaks. It's also loud, and everything smells like bird poop. Gross.
She's pulling away for the third time now with a wounded expression on her face, shaking her poor clipped finger as though that'll remove all the pain. (It doesn't.) ]
How come the ones they're flying outside are so much better trained? Why can't we work with those instead!
[ what better way to make sure the locals don't hate them than helping them out with mundane, everyday things, right? at least, that had been his idea... an idea he's been regretting for the past, well, about as long as they've been here.
grown falcons? majestic and amazing. baby falcons? demons from hell. ]
I'm pretty sure this is all an elaborate plan to murder us, [ he responds with the kind of gravity that is either entirely sincere or entirely far too dramatic. it's one or the other. ]
[ She's gonna think it's the former, thanks Stiles.
Lissa recoils, a look of pure horror on her face. The cheeping baby birds, still starving because she hasn't successfully fed them yet, continue their angry cheeping. Where's their food?? ]
You really think so? But we didn't do anything wrong!
[ Besides: ]
If even if they wanted to kill us, couldn't they at least do it another way? I don't want to be pecked to death by a bunch of ugly birds. It'd take forever!
[ Horrific. She casts a nervous glance around the aviary. There sure are......a lotta birds here..... In fact, one of them immediately swivels its head to peer at her intently. Despite the fact that its completely hooded, she yelps all the same. ]
That's terrible! [ Also whispered back. ] Is that why they need us to feed the birds here? So the birds can decide which one of us is tastier?
[ Never mind, she's just scarred herself for life with that thought, thanks. ]
Do you think if we move really slowly towards the door, the birds won't try and fly up and attack us?
Oh my god, it has to be a conspiracy, [ he whispers back, faux-alarmed. ] But, I mean, luckily both of us are pretty bony [ Stiles that's not?? the right way to talk to a girl??? ] so they might not even be interested.
[ Her voice goes shrill on that last word, enough that the birds squawk angrily and a bunch of heads swivel their direction. Oh crud. Never mind that. She smiles nervously. ]
[ Because Lissa is, at her core, a bleeding heart, she immediately accepts the farmer's proposition to help chase the stray imps off his land so that he might be able to continue working on his irrigation project. Never mind that she's never dealt with an imp before let alone a whole horde of them. Surely it can't be so bad, right?
But just in case, she drags along her new best buddy 9S all the way down to the dam, whereupon she drops down onto her knees to peer at the imps currently frolicking about. Hmm. ]
Do you think they'll just leave if we chase them off?
[ 9S isn't quite the bleeding heart Lissa is, but he's still known to lend a hand here and there. It was often expected out of him as a YoRHa unit back on Earth, and here... not so much, but he feels inclined to both as a Hathaway agent and because, in this moment, he's getting dragged into it.
He lets her take charge for the most part, still unable to bring himself to command a human in any way, and follows along as Lissa leads them toward their destination, Pod bobbing along in the air behind 9S. When they finally arrive and hide behind a cluster of tree trunks a safe distance away from both the dam itself and the imps loitering around, 9S peers over her shoulder, staring thoughtfully at the strange, little creatures.
They didn't look like much of a threat at all... ]
For good? Not a chance. [ His words are hushed, not wanting to draw the attention of the imps before the time was right. ] I think we're better off just killing them.
[ Her voice hits the edge of just shrill enough to hurt, and one of the imps turns around, face scrunched in suspicion. She clamps her mouth shut and freezes, not relaxing until some ten seconds later when the imp turns back and resumes its nonsense gibberish. ]
Do you really think so? I mean, they're not really hurting anyone, just being annoying. If we killed everyone that was annoying, I'd be dead ten times over.
[ He might have to beat it through her skull a few more times. ]
[ She trails off, uncertain of what to say. 9S isn't wrong, but she can't bring herself to lift her weapon - still her staff - to do anything more that shoo them away. Maybe smack them once or twice, but definitely not kill them. ]
[ Her composure completely gives away that she isn't entirely comfortable with the suggestion. In turn, 9S hesitates—not because of any second thoughts, but rather, it would be difficult to go against her wishes. Nonetheless, he gives an answer: ]
I—yeah. I've had to kill a lot of things.
[ Countless machine lifeforms, namely, but there's been enough monsters since his recruitment into ALASTAIR, too. ]
[ That's really all she has to say in reply to that. It's not like she can chastise him, not when both Chrom and Lucina run off to fight battles and kill things every day, and especially not when she'd often found herself wishing she could be more like the two of them.
She wilts momentarily, then exhales loudly - but not too loud!- before shaking her head to clear her senses. ]
[ Well, one could have multiple different weapons, and thus multiple different ways to kill them!! Hypothetically. Not that either of them have multiple weapons at their disposal.
Still. Still. ]
Well...maybe we could....threaten them? Be really really menacing so they're too scared to ever come back and build more dams?
[ A girl, a boy, and a weird pod. Yeah, that'll go great. ]
[ Well that's definitely the wrong thing to say. Lissa stiffens, a look of indignation crossing her face. ]
Hey, I can totally be intimidating when I want to be! Just watch!
[ And with that, she grips her staff tight and marches out angrily from behind their hidey tree, fully prepared to brandish her staff as menacingly as possibly at the cluster of imps hopping around.
RIP Lissa. She lived as she died, a complete and utter fool. ]
[ Despite his protests, there she goes... Right into the full view of the imps. The closest ones immediately turn her way at the sound of footsteps approaching, and their alarmed gibberish only draws the attention of more.
9S lets out a sharp, exasperated exhale, likewise emerging from their hiding spot; he isn't about to leave her on her own out there, especially with such an... ineffective appearing weapon. ]
At least, that's what she tells herself as she marches forward, a look of determination on her face. It only falters a smidge as the imps fan out, each of one of them wearing similar suspicious expressions. ]
Hey!
[ She stops, waving her staff around in the best threatening manner she can muster as she glares them down. Maybe if she looks mean enough, they'll listen to her... ]
[ Sometimes, Lissa likes to do the generous thing and help out even when it's an activity she has no experience with. Sometimes, that same helpfulness blows up in her face.
She's in the maws, hovering anxiously over a small clutch of young falcons she'd been left alone with. The instructions had been rough - "feed 'em and make sure they don't kill each other" - and not a single tour had been given of the place, leaving her feeling rather adrift and confused.
On the bright side, she's not the only one in the maws. Never one to fear approaching others, Lissa ambles over to the other helper in the room, setting aside her own pride to ask: ]
Hey, what do you think we're supposed to feed these guys?
[ Worms?? But there are no worms anywhere in sight. She's only ever seen the farmers feed chickens, and somehow she doubts sprinkling bits of grain and corn on the ground will do any good. ]
[Amado found himself here out of a similar feeling of generosity, but in his case, there's a bit of nostalgia as well. At one time, he worked in a mew like this one, so there's a bit of familiarity to this whole thing for him. Which, coincidentally, makes him a pretty good person to ask for advice!
When approached, he looks up from what he was doing, which was using a pair of tweezers to take something out of a bucket and feed it to one of the youngest falcons. He stands up. The baby falcon squeaks indignantly now that the food has stopped coming.]
Well, sometimes they'll eat small mammals like rats and stuff, but mostly, they eat smaller birds. I cut some up into small enough chunks for the little ones to eat... [The bucket does, indeed, have meat cut up into small pieces in it. Amado tilts his head down at the baby he was just feeding.]
D'you wanna try? [He offers her the tweezers.] Y'gotta use these. Even when they're young, they got really strong beaks and talons.
[ The answer she receives is far more in-depth than she expects, and she blinks a few times as she tries to process it. Tweezers? Smaller birds? Truly this whole thing is more in-depth than she inspects.
But the help's much appreciated, and she takes the tweezers carefully to do just as he directs. Down into the bucket the tweezers go and back out them come with a fresh chunk of meat, still a little bloody. She grimaces at the sight but presses forth to lift it over the baby falcon. The tweezers release, the meat falls, and the baby bird darts forth to pull it out of midair. ]
Wow...that worked! [ She turns to Amado, a look of appreciation on her face.] How come you know so much about raising birds?
[He cracks a small smile when he sees her do it successfully. He gets himself another pair of tweezers so he can keep doing it himself and starts feeding another one of the falcons.]
Well...I've liked birds since I was a kid. And a few years ago, I lived somewhere where I took care of birds kinda like these ones. I heard they needed some help here, so. I thought I could lend a hand. [He briefly looks away from the bird he's attending to to look at Lissa.] What about you? What brought you here?
[ Liked birds since he was little, huh? Well, she supposes they are kinda cool, even if these baby ones look like half-formed dandelions. They'll grow up to be fast and strong, at least. ]
I guess I just wanted to see what it would be like to be around baby falcons. [ She frowns a little as she watches the bird glug down its chunk of meat. ] They're not anything like baby chicks though. You can't hold these in your hand and pet them.
[ Chunk of meat now swallowed, the bird opens its beak to cry shrilly again, its hunger not yet sated. Back into the bucket the tweezer goes. ]
So were you some kind of bird babysitter then? What's your favorite kind of bird?
[He pauses. It seems like he has to think about that for a few seconds.]
Well, I guess it depends...falcons like these, when they grow up, [He points at the little birds beneath them.] are some of the fastest birds, or, really, fastest of any animal out there. Then you've got cockatiels which are really sweet and affectionate most of the time. You've got certain kinds of eagles that are like....ridiculously strong and can lift as much as their own body weight while flying. And you've got crows, which are really smart and can use tools and remember people's faces and stuff.
[He thinks for a few seconds.] Sooooooo, I guess...
[ As he talks, she grows more and more eager to hear his answer, eyes widening as she listens in interest. (In fact, she's so excited that she momentarily forgets to feed her assigned bird, and stays motionless until it snaps at her tweezers and she's started back into action.)
Of course, it's all for naught as he finishes speaking to conclude with a solid 'no idea'. ]
Oh.
[ Her shoulders slump briefly. Well, it's to be expected. Her own answer to any sort of favorite question changes weekly. ]
Well, they are all pretty cool sounding. I'd have trouble picking a favorite too. But I think I'd rather spend all my time with dogs or cats instead. They're way fluffier and way more cuddly.
[He lets out a little noise of amusement. He can't really argue with that. Birds -- especially falcons -- aren't particularly cuddly.]
Cats are pretty great, too. I don't think I'd be able to give you any kind of straight answer on that one, either, though. There's just as many different kinds of cats as there are birds! [He thinks for a second - he's never been much of a dog person, though.]
What about you? Have you got a favorite? [Perhaps intentionally, he doesn't specify whether he means bird, cat, dog or just animal in general.]
[ Lissa is a whatever furry creature she can get her hands on type of person, honestly. Except for squirrels. And mice. And bears. And wolves.
But that's fine, she's not going to talk about those anyhow, opting instead to focus her attention on cute things like cats and dogs and fuzzy baby chicks. ]
Hmmmmm, I don't know if I could pick one. My maids never let me have any pets, they said it would just be super messy and ruin all of my clothes.
[ Which probably would have been true but it's not like five year old her cared at all. ]
But maybe a dog? Because they love everyone and it'd be nice to be loved all the time instead of being called useless.
[ Her voice drops a little at the last few words as her lower lip juts out in a pout. ]
[His mouth twitches into a frown for a second at the last couple of words, there. That's a little too specific to just be hypothetical, he's aware. He doesn't wanna pry, but he doesn't wanna let it just slide on by, either. He lets out a little snort.]
Well, if anybody says that, they obviously don't know what they're talkin' about. I don't think anybody who was useless would be in a space guild, goin' on space adventures. And doin' space stuff. [He's interrupted by one of the falcons crying again. It seems to halt his momentum just a bit.]
...granted, we are in a mews feeding birds right now. [He gives the falcon a tweezerful of meat, effectively silencing it.] But that's an important part of adventuring, too.
[ He's got a point, and she brightens mometarily, rejuvenated and ready to feed her assigned baby birds with vigor. Her tweezers move with ferocity, and she dumps one meat chunk after the other, a little too quickly, and the bird squawks as the meat hits it on the head rather than falls neatly into its beak.
Oops.
Of course, her vigor lasts for all of five seconds before she droops again, her doubts rearing up to pick at her once more. ]
But it's not like I had to pass any test or do anything to join Hathaway. All I had to do was say that I wanted to help. Anyone could do that.
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epidemiology2018-02-04 12:33 pm
STILES ▸ IN ONE BASKET
As it turns out, there's nothing remotely cute about baby falcons. They're covered in mottled fuzz, half of it growing into unsightly feathers and the other half looking for all the world like grey dandelion fuzz, and they bite hard at any stray finger that might end up too close to their pointy beaks. It's also loud, and everything smells like bird poop. Gross.
She's pulling away for the third time now with a wounded expression on her face, shaking her poor clipped finger as though that'll remove all the pain. (It doesn't.) ]
How come the ones they're flying outside are so much better trained? Why can't we work with those instead!
no subject
grown falcons? majestic and amazing. baby falcons? demons from hell. ]
I'm pretty sure this is all an elaborate plan to murder us, [ he responds with the kind of gravity that is either entirely sincere or entirely far too dramatic. it's one or the other. ]
no subject
Lissa recoils, a look of pure horror on her face. The cheeping baby birds, still starving because she hasn't successfully fed them yet, continue their angry cheeping. Where's their food?? ]
You really think so? But we didn't do anything wrong!
[ Besides: ]
If even if they wanted to kill us, couldn't they at least do it another way? I don't want to be pecked to death by a bunch of ugly birds. It'd take forever!
[ And that just sucks. ]
no subject
he nods, lowering his voice into a conspiratorial whisper. ]
Yeah, I actually read somewhere that they consider being pecked to death, like, a ritual punishment for having insulted the Empress.
[ which they may or may not have done. who knows with the laws of this place?? ]
So... I guess we just have to hope that's not waiting for us. Or make an escape plan, just in case.
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That's terrible! [ Also whispered back. ] Is that why they need us to feed the birds here? So the birds can decide which one of us is tastier?
[ Never mind, she's just scarred herself for life with that thought, thanks. ]
Do you think if we move really slowly towards the door, the birds won't try and fly up and attack us?
no subject
[ he glances at the door. ]
Ready to make the world's slowest escape attempt?
no subject
[ Her voice goes shrill on that last word, enough that the birds squawk angrily and a bunch of heads swivel their direction. Oh crud. Never mind that. She smiles nervously. ]
Soooo.....how are we escaping again?
[ She's ready, teach her Stiles-senpai. ]
9S ▸ DAM IMPS
But just in case, she drags along her new best buddy 9S all the way down to the dam, whereupon she drops down onto her knees to peer at the imps currently frolicking about. Hmm. ]
Do you think they'll just leave if we chase them off?
[ What if they just come back... ]
no subject
He lets her take charge for the most part, still unable to bring himself to command a human in any way, and follows along as Lissa leads them toward their destination, Pod bobbing along in the air behind 9S. When they finally arrive and hide behind a cluster of tree trunks a safe distance away from both the dam itself and the imps loitering around, 9S peers over her shoulder, staring thoughtfully at the strange, little creatures.
They didn't look like much of a threat at all... ]
For good? Not a chance. [ His words are hushed, not wanting to draw the attention of the imps before the time was right. ] I think we're better off just killing them.
no subject
[ Her voice hits the edge of just shrill enough to hurt, and one of the imps turns around, face scrunched in suspicion. She clamps her mouth shut and freezes, not relaxing until some ten seconds later when the imp turns back and resumes its nonsense gibberish. ]
Do you really think so? I mean, they're not really hurting anyone, just being annoying. If we killed everyone that was annoying, I'd be dead ten times over.
[ He might have to beat it through her skull a few more times. ]
no subject
Once they've narrowly avoided a bad situation, he relaxes with a slow exhale. ]
Aren't they just monsters?
[ Or animals, or... whatever. ]
no subject
[ She trails off, uncertain of what to say. 9S isn't wrong, but she can't bring herself to lift her weapon - still her staff - to do anything more that shoo them away. Maybe smack them once or twice, but definitely not kill them. ]
Have you ever even killed anyone before?
[ Deflection for the win! ]
no subject
I—yeah. I've had to kill a lot of things.
[ Countless machine lifeforms, namely, but there's been enough monsters since his recruitment into ALASTAIR, too. ]
no subject
[ That's really all she has to say in reply to that. It's not like she can chastise him, not when both Chrom and Lucina run off to fight battles and kill things every day, and especially not when she'd often found herself wishing she could be more like the two of them.
She wilts momentarily, then exhales loudly - but not too loud!- before shaking her head to clear her senses. ]
How—how would you kill them?
no subject
[ Typically with a weapon. 9S lets those words sit for a moment, then adds: ]
... Did you have another idea in mind?
no subject
Still. Still. ]
Well...maybe we could....threaten them? Be really really menacing so they're too scared to ever come back and build more dams?
[ A girl, a boy, and a weird pod. Yeah, that'll go great. ]
no subject
There's no way they'd be intimidated by you.
[ Just casually leaving himself out of this, thx ]
no subject
Hey, I can totally be intimidating when I want to be! Just watch!
[ And with that, she grips her staff tight and marches out angrily from behind their hidey tree, fully prepared to brandish her staff as menacingly as possibly at the cluster of imps hopping around.
RIP Lissa. She lived as she died, a complete and utter fool. ]
no subject
[ Despite his protests, there she goes... Right into the full view of the imps. The closest ones immediately turn her way at the sound of footsteps approaching, and their alarmed gibberish only draws the attention of more.
9S lets out a sharp, exasperated exhale, likewise emerging from their hiding spot; he isn't about to leave her on her own out there, especially with such an... ineffective appearing weapon. ]
no subject
At least, that's what she tells herself as she marches forward, a look of determination on her face. It only falters a smidge as the imps fan out, each of one of them wearing similar suspicious expressions. ]
Hey!
[ She stops, waving her staff around in the best threatening manner she can muster as she glares them down. Maybe if she looks mean enough, they'll listen to her... ]
Get lost!
AMADO ▸ IN ONE BASKET
She's in the maws, hovering anxiously over a small clutch of young falcons she'd been left alone with. The instructions had been rough - "feed 'em and make sure they don't kill each other" - and not a single tour had been given of the place, leaving her feeling rather adrift and confused.
On the bright side, she's not the only one in the maws. Never one to fear approaching others, Lissa ambles over to the other helper in the room, setting aside her own pride to ask: ]
Hey, what do you think we're supposed to feed these guys?
[ Worms?? But there are no worms anywhere in sight. She's only ever seen the farmers feed chickens, and somehow she doubts sprinkling bits of grain and corn on the ground will do any good. ]
no subject
[Amado found himself here out of a similar feeling of generosity, but in his case, there's a bit of nostalgia as well. At one time, he worked in a mew like this one, so there's a bit of familiarity to this whole thing for him. Which, coincidentally, makes him a pretty good person to ask for advice!
When approached, he looks up from what he was doing, which was using a pair of tweezers to take something out of a bucket and feed it to one of the youngest falcons. He stands up. The baby falcon squeaks indignantly now that the food has stopped coming.]
Well, sometimes they'll eat small mammals like rats and stuff, but mostly, they eat smaller birds. I cut some up into small enough chunks for the little ones to eat... [The bucket does, indeed, have meat cut up into small pieces in it. Amado tilts his head down at the baby he was just feeding.]
D'you wanna try? [He offers her the tweezers.] Y'gotta use these. Even when they're young, they got really strong beaks and talons.
no subject
But the help's much appreciated, and she takes the tweezers carefully to do just as he directs. Down into the bucket the tweezers go and back out them come with a fresh chunk of meat, still a little bloody. She grimaces at the sight but presses forth to lift it over the baby falcon. The tweezers release, the meat falls, and the baby bird darts forth to pull it out of midair. ]
Wow...that worked! [ She turns to Amado, a look of appreciation on her face.] How come you know so much about raising birds?
no subject
Well...I've liked birds since I was a kid. And a few years ago, I lived somewhere where I took care of birds kinda like these ones. I heard they needed some help here, so. I thought I could lend a hand. [He briefly looks away from the bird he's attending to to look at Lissa.] What about you? What brought you here?
no subject
I guess I just wanted to see what it would be like to be around baby falcons. [ She frowns a little as she watches the bird glug down its chunk of meat. ] They're not anything like baby chicks though. You can't hold these in your hand and pet them.
[ Chunk of meat now swallowed, the bird opens its beak to cry shrilly again, its hunger not yet sated. Back into the bucket the tweezer goes. ]
So were you some kind of bird babysitter then? What's your favorite kind of bird?
no subject
Well, I guess it depends...falcons like these, when they grow up, [He points at the little birds beneath them.] are some of the fastest birds, or, really, fastest of any animal out there. Then you've got cockatiels which are really sweet and affectionate most of the time. You've got certain kinds of eagles that are like....ridiculously strong and can lift as much as their own body weight while flying. And you've got crows, which are really smart and can use tools and remember people's faces and stuff.
[He thinks for a few seconds.] Sooooooo, I guess...
[He shrugs.]
I have no idea.
no subject
Of course, it's all for naught as he finishes speaking to conclude with a solid 'no idea'. ]
Oh.
[ Her shoulders slump briefly. Well, it's to be expected. Her own answer to any sort of favorite question changes weekly. ]
Well, they are all pretty cool sounding. I'd have trouble picking a favorite too. But I think I'd rather spend all my time with dogs or cats instead. They're way fluffier and way more cuddly.
no subject
Cats are pretty great, too. I don't think I'd be able to give you any kind of straight answer on that one, either, though. There's just as many different kinds of cats as there are birds! [He thinks for a second - he's never been much of a dog person, though.]
What about you? Have you got a favorite? [Perhaps intentionally, he doesn't specify whether he means bird, cat, dog or just animal in general.]
no subject
But that's fine, she's not going to talk about those anyhow, opting instead to focus her attention on cute things like cats and dogs and fuzzy baby chicks. ]
Hmmmmm, I don't know if I could pick one. My maids never let me have any pets, they said it would just be super messy and ruin all of my clothes.
[ Which probably would have been true but it's not like five year old her cared at all. ]
But maybe a dog? Because they love everyone and it'd be nice to be loved all the time instead of being called useless.
[ Her voice drops a little at the last few words as her lower lip juts out in a pout. ]
no subject
Well, if anybody says that, they obviously don't know what they're talkin' about. I don't think anybody who was useless would be in a space guild, goin' on space adventures. And doin' space stuff. [He's interrupted by one of the falcons crying again. It seems to halt his momentum just a bit.]
...granted, we are in a mews feeding birds right now. [He gives the falcon a tweezerful of meat, effectively silencing it.] But that's an important part of adventuring, too.
no subject
Oops.
Of course, her vigor lasts for all of five seconds before she droops again, her doubts rearing up to pick at her once more. ]
But it's not like I had to pass any test or do anything to join Hathaway. All I had to do was say that I wanted to help. Anyone could do that.
no subject