[ The simplicity of his question belies the complexity of what she feels Thrawn has to offer her. She takes a moment to decide where to start in articulating it. ]
This mission has made it quite clear where my failings lie. [ Off to a good start she already is struggling to admit that. It's in part a branch off of knowing more clearly that Ben values her for her strength and acumen, an unease with admitting weakness and how it will impact that perception. But it's more what all of that is wrapped up in. ] All I know of politics comes from children's stories. [ There is scorn there for her former self and the way she had told herself tales of the Rebellion and Luke Skywalker to help herself sleep at night and feel there was still good in the galaxy. ] Fantasies. I know now how disappointing the truth of them can be. [ Luke himself had taught her that lesson, if few others. ]
Beyond the mission, Poe told me of the New Republic's inaction as the First Order gained power, and Thrawn of how the Republic's failures to control the chaos of the Clone Wars gave rise to the Empire. [ She did not need to be told of their failures in the inner rim. She had seen the product of that inaction firsthand. Ben knows this, she is sure, without a need for her to dig into that particular wound.
She takes a few moments to figure something out. It's buried in the sands of her memories, somewhere, what she wants to articulate. ] Growing up on a planet like Jakku, I didn't think about politics. I was busy figuring out when my next meal would be. But politics made Jakku. [ It's not a distant, abstract thing. It has always impacted her. It's directly responsible for the way she grew up. And now she's in the midst of it. ]
I can't change where I came from. [ She wishes she could. She knows enough of the world now to feel shame in her ignorance. To recognize that she is nothing. But she had promised to not get hung up in that--to look ahead instead. ] But I can become more. Like he did. [ And there it is, the hints of her compassion extending towards Thrawn too. She thinks she understands him. ] You said it yourself -- an alien Grand Admiral. He understands these things quite well, to manage that when he started as their prisoner.
I want to understand better. I need to know enough to make sense of it for myself instead of just trusting what I'm told.
no subject
This mission has made it quite clear where my failings lie. [ Off to a good start she already is struggling to admit that. It's in part a branch off of knowing more clearly that Ben values her for her strength and acumen, an unease with admitting weakness and how it will impact that perception. But it's more what all of that is wrapped up in. ] All I know of politics comes from children's stories. [ There is scorn there for her former self and the way she had told herself tales of the Rebellion and Luke Skywalker to help herself sleep at night and feel there was still good in the galaxy. ] Fantasies. I know now how disappointing the truth of them can be. [ Luke himself had taught her that lesson, if few others. ]
Beyond the mission, Poe told me of the New Republic's inaction as the First Order gained power, and Thrawn of how the Republic's failures to control the chaos of the Clone Wars gave rise to the Empire. [ She did not need to be told of their failures in the inner rim. She had seen the product of that inaction firsthand. Ben knows this, she is sure, without a need for her to dig into that particular wound.
She takes a few moments to figure something out. It's buried in the sands of her memories, somewhere, what she wants to articulate. ] Growing up on a planet like Jakku, I didn't think about politics. I was busy figuring out when my next meal would be. But politics made Jakku. [ It's not a distant, abstract thing. It has always impacted her. It's directly responsible for the way she grew up. And now she's in the midst of it. ]
I can't change where I came from. [ She wishes she could. She knows enough of the world now to feel shame in her ignorance. To recognize that she is nothing. But she had promised to not get hung up in that--to look ahead instead. ] But I can become more. Like he did. [ And there it is, the hints of her compassion extending towards Thrawn too. She thinks she understands him. ] You said it yourself -- an alien Grand Admiral. He understands these things quite well, to manage that when he started as their prisoner.
I want to understand better. I need to know enough to make sense of it for myself instead of just trusting what I'm told.