actual shounen hero (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forcevisions) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
epidemiology2018-03-01 02:58 pm
forcevisions) wrote in epidemiology2018-03-01 02:58 pm
Entry tags:
closed.
CHARACTERS: REY and KYLO REN
DATE: during arguments
WARNINGS: references to glass wounds, blood, maybe self-harm ???
SUMMARY: A Skywalker is on their bullshit again.
[ Keith stayed for as long as it took to get Ben into the clinic in Doro's castle. They knew the way by now, but fatigued as they both were and burdened by Ben's considerable weight, it still took some time. Then they said goodnight, with the promise to talk more of this later, and parted ways. Keith, to get some rest and process all that had happened, and Rey, to keep vigil.
There was no telling that when Ben awoke, he wouldn't do the same to the doctor that he had to Keith. She warns the doctor of this, and she smiles back at Rey and tells her that it wouldn't be her first time dealing with an unruly patient. Rey's returned smile is tight. This woman has no idea what she's dealing with. All the more reason to stay while she tends to him, bandaging his hands. The doctor inquires after what happened, politely, and Rey gives the bland answer, A fight. Obviously. She means well, but it's hard to be anything but on edge when the man lying in that cot is a nuclear weapon waiting to go off.
For most of the night, she's restless, unable to sleep but for thinking herself in circles about what had happened and how she had been responsible for it. She'd gotten pulled in, ignored obvious signs of how dangerous Ben still was. Whatever light was inside of him, whatever conflict, it hadn't stopped him from nearly killing Keith.
But Keith had seen that fury and instability and seen pain in it, as Rey had. That certainly doesn't excuse her from pushing it to the point that it endangered her best friend's life, but it did complicate her feelings. As much as she wanted to hate him for what he had done, she still found concern beneath her anger and confusion. Her hands still itched with replaying that moment over and over, when he'd started punching the glass. What had shifted? When had she lost him?
She wasn't going to solve it in one night. That, she took away more than anything else. She thought she'd heard Urahara, but she'd still pushed and pushed and this is where it had brought her.
Fatigue chases her and ultimately catches up. The sun rises on Rey, propped against the wall beside the cot he lies on, dozing in and out of a half-asleep fugue state, overcome by her use of the Force, the training session Ben had interrupted, and the empty well of her emotions. ]
DATE: during arguments
WARNINGS: references to glass wounds, blood, maybe self-harm ???
SUMMARY: A Skywalker is on their bullshit again.
[ Keith stayed for as long as it took to get Ben into the clinic in Doro's castle. They knew the way by now, but fatigued as they both were and burdened by Ben's considerable weight, it still took some time. Then they said goodnight, with the promise to talk more of this later, and parted ways. Keith, to get some rest and process all that had happened, and Rey, to keep vigil.
There was no telling that when Ben awoke, he wouldn't do the same to the doctor that he had to Keith. She warns the doctor of this, and she smiles back at Rey and tells her that it wouldn't be her first time dealing with an unruly patient. Rey's returned smile is tight. This woman has no idea what she's dealing with. All the more reason to stay while she tends to him, bandaging his hands. The doctor inquires after what happened, politely, and Rey gives the bland answer, A fight. Obviously. She means well, but it's hard to be anything but on edge when the man lying in that cot is a nuclear weapon waiting to go off.
For most of the night, she's restless, unable to sleep but for thinking herself in circles about what had happened and how she had been responsible for it. She'd gotten pulled in, ignored obvious signs of how dangerous Ben still was. Whatever light was inside of him, whatever conflict, it hadn't stopped him from nearly killing Keith.
But Keith had seen that fury and instability and seen pain in it, as Rey had. That certainly doesn't excuse her from pushing it to the point that it endangered her best friend's life, but it did complicate her feelings. As much as she wanted to hate him for what he had done, she still found concern beneath her anger and confusion. Her hands still itched with replaying that moment over and over, when he'd started punching the glass. What had shifted? When had she lost him?
She wasn't going to solve it in one night. That, she took away more than anything else. She thought she'd heard Urahara, but she'd still pushed and pushed and this is where it had brought her.
Fatigue chases her and ultimately catches up. The sun rises on Rey, propped against the wall beside the cot he lies on, dozing in and out of a half-asleep fugue state, overcome by her use of the Force, the training session Ben had interrupted, and the empty well of her emotions. ]
no subject
But all good things come to an end. As the sun starts to warm his eyes, Kylo Ren stirs. There is only a moment of calm before he snap-startles fully awake as if coming out of a nightmare, instinctively reaching for the lightsaber he feels nearby. Perhaps fortunately, it catches on Rey's belt before it hits his bandaged hands.
Mildly short of breath, he's forced to confront the events prior to his disposal. The window. Keith. Rey. And now --
He swallows down the stop-start of his own breath and glances sideways, as if he'd only just noticed she was there.]
no subject
But he has barely budged. He lies there in wide-eyed panic, just as she does, and she has to wonder in that moment whether her reaction is his or hers. For a moment she only stares, chest heaving with each alarmed breath as she deals with the dwindling dread. ]
That's mine. [ She tells him tightly without budging, her eyes on the lightsaber. The door opens then. The doctor has heard movement, and her voice, and she's coming in to check on him. ]
no subject
There is a pool of miasma that swirls around him in the Force, nervous energy begging to be released.
Perhaps miraculously, he stays perfectly still, and chooses instead to watch her move with wary eyes.]
no subject
She tries to reach out with the Force, first to control him by some invisible hand, to hold him back, but her grip never finds purchase. After a night like that, she lacks the strength and focus. But she can feel him. Their minds are linked, and so instead, she studies his intent, moving close to his bedside in a gesture that resembles concern but is layered with fear and suspicion.
In causing her to feel like this, maybe he'd finally won some ground.
The doctor does not seem to observe the tension, or Ben's silence, as she looks down at his hands to check the bandages. When she sees something in his palm, she frowns and asks what it is. Dread gathers like a stone in the pit of Rey's stomach. ]
no subject
And in a split second, he makes a decision, eyes shooting back up to meet the doctor's.]
It's nothing. You can go about your business.
[There's a push of the Force that Rey will feel, and the doctor's eyes fall off the lightsaber almost instantly. Carefully, almost hastily, he presses it back into her palm. There is a sense that he doesn't want it near him, despite the fact that his finger is still inches from the activation button.
He stays silent while she turns his empty palm over to change the wrappings on it.]
no subject
The doctor tells him he'll need rest. A few days, at least, and to take it easy on the stitches she'd put in while the deeper cuts in his hands heal. He'd really done a number on them. But there was no need for him to stay here, at least. ]
Thank you. [ Says Rey quietly, the sound thick in the back of her throat. It's ostensibly directed at the doctor, and she does mean that, but — Ben, too. For disarming himself. ]
no subject
He senses Rey's intent, and if they had been alone he likely would have rejected it -- but they were not, and so he stays quiet until she finishes redressing his other hand. The former curls slowly into a fist.
Now that the initial panic had calmed, irritation and loneliness quickly wormed its way back in.]
no subject
As soon as it sets in, the circle of her thoughts starts anew. A scene replaying: I've only given myself to one person more than you.
She draws a shaky breath, ready to push it away before it gets to its inevitable conclusion. But no words come. She doesn't have anything to say to him. She hasn't figured it out yet. Demanding that he stay away from Keith won't do any good; Keith was the one to seek him out, originally, and Keith wouldn't obey even if Ben did.
It is best that we do not continue to entertain this.
Nothing to be said for it, she goes for the door. There's an erratic lack of focus in her movements, slow to react. She has gone longer without sleep, but not at this kind of pace. ]
no subject
--well, he supposed he was the only one left of them with a true incentive. He still hungered for it, though perhaps not so fiercely in this moment. Right now, he just wanted rest and some distance from all the problems staring him in the face.
He hadn't missed that she'd chosen to stay with him. Keith had smartly chosen otherwise, but she'd stayed.]
Have the Empresses made any headway on our proposals?
[He needs to fill the silence, even knowing that she'd apparently stayed through the night and would likely not have an answer for him. It was easier to return to business.]
no subject
No.
[ At least, not that she's heard on the magitek. She has to figure someone would have let her know. He had to know she was here. Was he trying to get her to admit it, so he could gloat?
Well. ]
I don't have anything to tell you.
[ If he wanted awkward conversation or to probe her wounds, he'd have to make it himself. Anything she said to him now would come out all— wrong. A shouting match or a crying fit or something equally humiliating and she was too kriffing tired for that sort of thing right now. ]
no subject
Except:]
You did not have to stay.
[Given her frosty demeanor, he wonders why she stayed at all -- its what prompts his response. She didn't have to bring him either, but he decides not to say it like that.]
no subject
I know. [ She starts with simple affirmation, debates leaving it at that. Then she starts working up a more substantial reply just to get him to leave it alone. Her first thoughts reach towards the doctor, her safety, some scathing remark about waking up like he'd passed out and—
The trouble of course is that it's not true. Not entirely. He'd feel it. ] I told you I would. [ Not the night before, but before. On the Headquarters. And Keith, what he'd said about people giving up, it had stuck with her. She backs off of it quickly, hiding from the choked feeling in the back of her throat. ] And anyway, how was I supposed to know what you'd do to that poor woman? You were out of your mind.
no subject
I've been told a lot of things is a thought he doesn't give voice. It wouldn't serve any purpose other than starting another fight in the hallway.
Some part of him wants that, but not enough to follow through.]
I suppose.
[Was he out of his mind? He's not sure he agrees with that assessment. But that he'd given her that impression of himself, that was fair enough and hardly incorrect. He tries to find a scenario in which he would have attacked that doctor. Too many come to mind.
This is where he is supposed to thank her, but -- he hadn't really wanted her help. In fact, she'd done exactly the opposite of what he'd wanted. She stood in his way, denied him his pride, and used his knowledge against him.]
Thank you.
[But she had stayed. That's the first promise anyone has kept to him in a very long time.]
no subject
How could he say that to her when he had just tried to destroy everything she'd tried to build for herself in a moment of spite? It just makes her think that he's under the impression that she didn't care. That what he'd done didn't matter. And it did. Worse, it stirs the hope in her chest. ]
I don't want to do this now. [ Nonverbal communication isn't working on him, so she tries the aggressive approach. ] I just want to sleep.
no subject
I agree.
[That way he doesn't have to confront the fact that those words just came out of his mouth, or anything else that just happened. That's a great plan.
So they're just going to keep walking in the same direction in silence. Somewhere along the journey, he spots the blood spatters that lead straight back to his room.
Awkward. He's just. Going to go back in there without looking at Rey, or talking about the glass crunching under his boot.]
no subject
Her clothes are stained at the shoulder and knees with his blood, where she had scrambled after him, where she had lifted and carried him with Keith. She's grateful that they're her old clothes, from home, and not the only surviving kimono she has after the troll fight.
She strips them off stiffly, her feet still bare. She'd run out there without a thought except for Keith and Ben. Now her whole body aches and her limbs want to give out before she's even undressed all the way. Only when her head hits her pillow does another thought put an end to the angry cycle of her thoughts trying to chase out her failures, her mistakes that had nearly led to Keith's death:
Thank you. ]