epidemiology | ( closed ) you keep making me weak

[ 'Moping like a forlorn puppy' isn't the terminology he would use, but to each their own. It's true, he's been withdrawn, spending more time in spirit form than not, and speaking very little unless she's directly addressed him. She appears to brush off what happened with ease, and if not for the unusual silence, it would have seemed as though he did the same.

They aren't people who talk freely about their emotions, and that's fine. He's willing to let it go and never mention the matter ever again. He's her Archer-class Servant, and if showing her what he has was upsetting to her, then he'll never do it again.

It's another quiet night, as the others have been, and if the atmosphere is in any way uncomfortable, he doesn't seem to notice. He doesn't mind silence; in fact, one might say he's used to it.

He watches her, though, as she approaches the window and appears to make up her mind about something. She gives that order, and if he thinks it's strange, he keeps it to himself.

Rising up from his seat, Archer walks over to her, and there's no hesitation as he picks her with ease and steps out onto the window still. The chill doesn't bother him, she weighs almost nothing to him, and it only takes a few practiced leaps to take them to the rooftop.

He doesn't ask questions. He's sure, whatever point she wants to make, she'll do it when she's ready. ]

[so too is rin accustomed to the feel of her body wrapped up in his arms, and he's cold, supportive, and warm all at once. archer selects the best leaps, minding how the winter wind might brush across her face. everything is always darkness, anyway, so she has nothing of worth to look at as he clambers upwards.

eventually he stands at the heights of the voclain, but unless archer sets her down himself she will strangely enough make no move to be released. in his arms, she's perfectly motionless—even bundled up, her hands crowded at her chest, while she stares at any distant city lights instead of him.]

... Find someplace with protection from the wind. Where we can talk in privacy.

Edited (wording) 2016-01-05 21:21 (UTC)

[ It's comfortable.

Though he hasn't said it and likely never will, carrying Rin like this is grounding, in a way. He doesn't bare his heart to others anymore (or at least, not when he can help it), and the simple reality of being close to her, to someone so warm and soft, quells the negative storm that so often seethes silently inside him. He feels at ease, even knowing he may not like what she has to say, and that's a rare thing.

Shielding her from the wind chill as much as he can, he makes no move to put her down, either (not until she asks), and of course, he knows exactly where to go when she asks him to find somewhere more private.

Archer has to take her several buildings over before he arrives at a suitable place with a stone enclosure. It's enough to shield them from view and to block the worst of the wind. He glances at Rin for confirmation, and if it meets with her approval, he'll set her down. ]

[finally peering up to meet his eyes, one swift nod shared between them is all the permission archer needs to gently lower her to her feet.

he's chosen the best location, but that isn't anything surprising, either. rin only scans the top of the building briefly before she passes into the enclosure. it's so dark they don't have to worry too much about a flying servant being detected—and they have bigger magic-based problems, in any case—but caution is a habit.

once inside, she declares loud enough for him to hear, whether he follows after her immediately or not,]

You looked just like him, Archer.

[it's perhaps not the crushing revelation of the century.]

[ He lets her down slowly.

Archer waits for her to do her own spot check, and of course, he follows her. Though he doesn't pause or appear to hesitate, his expression is difficult to read when she says what she does. He was satisfied to let the matter rest and never speak of it again, so for a long moment, he has no answer.

Finally, however, he does respond. ]

We were not so different, once.

[ Many years ago, longer even than he can remember. His past isn't something he likes to think about. ]

I upset you, and for that, you have my apologies.

[if she has a problem with how quickly or slowly archer comes in on her heels, rin doesn't voice it. instead it's as though he read her mind. she stands with her back against a wall, unwilling to move, glancing at him through the dark with sharp aqua-blue eyes that try to discern what he's thinking.]

No apologies, Archer. That isn't important.

[after all, she's not going to apologize to him. she could, but he must already know it's just her way. rin crosses her arms over her chest, the picture of a stern and collected master.]

I suppose it lends to reason that you're alike enough. But you're two different people to me, Archer. You always have been. You aren't the same, now. You never will be the same again.

[ He doesn't expect apologies. He so rarely offers them himself that he wouldn't begin to assume that he might receive them. Rin, of all people, owes him nothing of the kind.

He looks at her, that very recognizable stance, and he's...quiet. Still, in all aspects, as if everything inside and out has distilled down to this singular moment, this conversation they likely should have had a while ago.

He doesn't fidget; it's not his way, but this is uncomfortable. ]

I no longer have complete memories of my past, Rin. I deduced who you were the night I was summoned, but I could not remember your name until you told it to me.

The things I've seen and done -- I cannot go back to the way I was before.

[ Nor would he, given then chance. Still- ]

There are days I remember what it was like.

[that's the point: they should have talked like this a long time ago. after she dashed away to hide behind a building in her sadness and her anger, before gilgamesh confronted her in the street. archer would not initiate the conversation himself, so the responsibility was foisted off on her.

rin won't complain (too much). he needs a master's presence and he requires someone to supervise him. this is only more proof of that. her eyelids flutter shut. she seems to recognize he's uncomfortable, but she refuses to coddle him.]

Don't repeat what I already know. We share a bond, and I understand what Heroic Spirits are.

[her tone softens, then, lightening perceptibly, as if something is caught in her throat.]

What you showed me... Archer, was it a fake? Or is that still part of you?

[she sounds like she's about to cry—but she also sounds like she's about to scream at him, again, hit him and run off. neither will happen.]

[ It was foisted off on her because he had no desire to bring it up. What he was and what he has become -- the two are so diametrically opposed it should be no wonder that he hates himself as much as he does. He wanted to save people, not become an executioner. He wanted the people around him not to cry, and yet he caused misery and unhappiness on so many different occasions.

Again. And again. And again.

He never saw his wish fulfilled, and he can only consider his life a waste because of it. Even if his wish was beautiful and he wasn't wrong, in application, all of it was a disaster.

She asks that question, and his expression doesn't change. There no emotion on his face, in his eyes, and even though he feels as though there's a vise wrapped around his chest, it doesn't show in his voice. ]

...I would not have shown it to you if it was not.

[ Even though he betrayed her and went against everything she ordered him to do, even though he has a tendency of omitting things and keeping them to himself, he is still honest. He's always cared; he's just terrible at showing it, and even more so when he's hellbent on acting on awful ideas. ]

Edited 2016-01-10 00:13 (UTC)

[her boots scrape against the ground ever so slightly as she shifts. her head bows and her chin tilts; she winces in discomfort, or for some indescribable reason, but it's barely there. if he blinks, he'll miss it.

it's her reaction to how much he hates himself. even now, she's frustrated at him—and she's willing to punch through walls, or maybe hoards of those ungrateful people, for him. it doesn't really matter if she's not looking at him. she knows she would see the emotionless front, the cold indifference. he's the calm killer who's faced several hells.

in comparison to that, however does a disastrous kiss measure up?

she has one answer for him. it's definite and strong.]

Then I'm no longer upset. There it is.

[ If he didn't resent himself as much as he does, it would be humanity itself that bore the brunt of his hatred. It's true, he's sick and tired of cleaning up their messes, and he might have even contemplated a world swept clean of them in his darker moments. He never fell quite that far, though, and he doesn't plan on going there.

Accepting her statement quietly, he pursues the matter no further. It seems to be settled so he sees no reason to keep talking about it.

Still, he knows better than to assume that's all Rin wanted to address. ]

What else did you want to discuss, Rin?

—I'm not done yet.

[she cuts him off rudely, abruptly, in the fashion suiting a young girl adjusted to acting older. just as she has her attitude, she commands him with reliable and faultless determination.

raising her head, she stares at archer with open eyes. she's accusing him.]

If you are that person, you should show that side of yourself more often. I'm making this an order. What have you got to lose?

[everything? she's asking him to solve their problem by showing more of that behavior that led to the problem in the first place.]

[ She demands the impossible.

Archer stares at her with outright disbelief for a moment before his expression shutters again. This time, he actually looks away. ]

I can't do that, Rin.

[why does it have to be impossible?

the light touch of fingertips grazes against his arm. somehow, while he had his head turned, she's snuck over, and she's standing beside him and politely requesting his attention. yes, apparently she will make this difficult—like she makes all of this difficult.]

Why not? [she explains.] I'm not asking you to bare everything and get hurt. You'll only show that side of you to the people who work hard enough to earn your trust, and deserve it.

We aren't in a Holy Grail War anymore, Archer. You've been freed from the cycle—not forever, not perfectly, but then that's only more reason to use this time the best you can.

[ She makes all of it very difficult.

It's impossible because he doesn't believe this will last. Because, in the end, once ALASTAIR is done with him, all he sees is himself lingering on forevermore on that lonely hill full of swords. Whatever he gains here will inevitably slip through his fingers, and it'll be that much more painful suffocating those small parts of himself that could pass for human.

The light touch draws his attention, but still, his eyes stay averted. He doesn't share the hope she has for him. ]

Being here does not change what I am, Rin.

[ The deal he made, the doomed fate he chose for himself... ]

It does not change the place I will always return to.

[ She should know. Even though she hasn't seen him use Unlimited Blade Works, she must have seen it in her dreams. ]

[or maybe both of them make it difficult.

he's being dismissive, again. dismissive, pessimistic and stubborn. she grips her hand into his sleeve, insistent. but she's not especially irritated with him. not yet.]

I didn't say it would change either of those things, did I, Archer? Your participation in ALASTAIR is going to last as long as it will last, until it's over. You can make an effort to enjoy yourself, or you can close yourself off and cause your own suffering.

[rin knows the empty hill of swords. it's stamped into her mind, like a permanent picture. it's sad that archer will return there and no one can do anything about it, but he's here with her once more. it won't last but it shouldn't be ignored. he may suffer but he would have the chance for good things again, after spending so, so long mired in tragedy.

what she wants for him is the good things, now that they both have the power to make it so.]

[ He's being dismissive and pessimistic because he already knows how all of this will end.

His hands clench at his side, and though he doesn't show a great deal on his face, his expression is...strained. Not because he doesn't understand and isn't touched, in some way, by what she's trying to do for him, but rather, he's been burned so many times, he doesn't want to deal with it again. Even if, in his heart of hearts, he's sentimental to the core, it isn't how he wants to be because he never would have kept some measure of his sanity if he hadn't hardened himself to his task. Besides that, even though he's been summoned and used countless times, his memory of it all is hazy, at best, and he doesn't see the point of what she's proposing if he's only going to forget it later.

Enjoying small things like baking and (yes, no one judge him for it) housework, is one thing. Getting close to other people is a much taller order, and it doesn't help that he never could take much pleasure in life even when he was alive. The only passion he had was for his ideal, and now that's gone, too.

It's a long moment before he can answer her. ]

I never knew how to live, Rin.

[ Perhaps the most painfully truthful admission he's made. ]

You would have me start, now?

[ Now, when he's already locked into terrible fate? He doesn't understand. ]

[her face turns away, and she wears an uncertain expression. for most people, one could argue, "you knew how to live once". thinking back over her conversation with shirou along the side of his house during that dark winter night, rin realizes that not even that can be said to be true. emiya shirou—the servant named archer—never truly lived. he was never really normal.

since that trauma in his past, he was forever lost.

she answers while she's silently grieving for him.]

Yes.

[don't anger her. she doesn't decide how to advise him without taking it seriously, and she will not surrender. won't he understand? it's so simple.]

Because we're together again, and we have a chance we didn't have before. I'm not saying you have an excuse to slack off. I'll be pissed if you don't obey me or work for ALASTAIR's objectives in the way you should. But, Archer,

[he is already building memories he'll have to come to terms with, every minute, every second.]

if it's a matter of dealing with more pain, you're already living.

[ There's always been something wrong with him. Ever since that day when he saw hell for the first time, he's been impossibly, irreparably broken. He didn't necessarily think so, at the time, those years when he was still young. He only thought about Kiritsugu's last words and his own borrowed wish to become the hero of justice that his adoptive father could not. His desire to help others at the cost of his own well-being was nothing short of irrational, perhaps even insane, and nothing anyone said to him could persuade him otherwise. It was only when he'd already effectively destroyed himself that he finally understood the foolishness of his actions.

He's quiet for a long time, and really, it's difficult for him to decide what to say. Physical pain isn't such an issue; it's a familiar companion at this point, something he's experienced so many times, that he's learned to endure, to function even when his body has been ripped apart. Servants are durable anyway, but he's always been hard-headed and stubborn. He never knew how to give up, and in some ways, he's still like that.

Emotional pain is different, though. The rage he felt over Gilgamesh's actions was something he hasn't felt in a long time, and it disturbed him even though it was justified. He knows his bond with Rin has strengthened him as a Servant, but it's also brought out the more human parts of himself that he's left buried for so long -- something he both covets and shies away from.

He does know how to reconcile the two: his own lost humanity and his status as a Servant. She wants him to try, and he can see that. He still wonders at the point of it, but at the same time, he knows he's tired. He doesn't want to spend every second of every day as a tool of war and nothing else.

His answer, when he finally gives it, is soft. ]

I will try, Rin. I cannot promise you anything, but....I will try.

Edited 2016-01-13 00:40 (UTC)

[the point of it is that he has nothing left. he has nothing to lose no matter what he does. if he's tired, it's all the more reason to pursue his one chance at rejuvenation—though it will be short, and transient, there will be life where it wasn't before.

it's quite apparent rin is naive and impressionable, for her age. she's young. she's optimistic when she should have no justification to be so, and she is aware of the cold reality of archer's situation.

to an extent, it boils down to hard logic.

if this servant of hers will be forever suffering, she cannot forgive herself for wasting an opportunity in which his agony will be mitigated. she cannot. archer is worth this, because archer was that boy, once... and archer is hers. she summoned him. part of him is her responsibility.

lingering there quietly, with his soft brush of an answer his only reply, rin covers the small twinge of happiness in her heart with a characteristic outburst.]

Sheesh. You agree so easily? You really might not be the same person.

[she's happy. she's so happy. she twists her body away further but her hand drops down to his, and she fumbles a little over what's appropriate but not too... childish, or too sensual, before she decides to lightly hold hands with him.

he likely hasn't fully committed himself to it. she realizes that. for someone who has experienced pain non-stop, it will be a long time until he understands living without pain is selfish—but also good, the hallmark of individuals like them.

rin's next response leaks out in a whisper.]

I know... you're worried about being hurt again. I'll annihilate whoever hurts you. Don't forget you have a good Master, this time—and I'll look out for you. I specialize in keeping you and him on the right path.

[ She considers it a victory (or at least, a step in the right direction), but he isn't so sure. He still doesn't see the point of it, except perhaps, as a brief reprieve from what he's become so used to. Or if not a true reprieve, then allowing himself to experience different things in the hopes that, maybe, he might learn what he never could.

He doesn't think it's possible. It's not logical or reasonable, he doesn't want to expose how truly fractured and broken he really is, but he looks at the hand clasping his. It wasn't an easy thing, even that small concession, but he doesn't know how he could have denied her and said 'no'.

They are alike that way.

His fingers curl around hers, and even though he won't say it or confirm anything she's said (whispered or not), she is right in that -- that emotional hurt is something he does not handle well at all, no matter what form it takes. It's why he's as closed off as he is; it's easier to keep everything around him at arm's length (and farther) as necessary.

It's too late for that where she's concerned, of course, and he doesn't doubt for a moment that she means every word. She will protect him to the best of her ability, and he has sworn to do the same.

It's why, he thinks, he shouldn't necessarily hide what he's capable of anymore. ]

...I would protect you also, Rin.

[ A soft response. He seems to struggle a little to find the right words. ]

I have not explained it to you, have I? My ability as a Heroic Spirit.

[ Given the point in time from which she was taken, she wouldn't have seen it, except in her dreams. ]

[it's not a problem if he's uncertain. it's her job to hold her head up proudly and be convinced of her position when he can't. that tenacity was something shirou commanded without her help, but archer is a different beast—although in reality he never will be, the softheartedness that marks them both still present in him now.

doesn't she do a fine job of locking up many of her own emotions?

she's heartened by the slip of his fingers between hers. as he's glancing down at their hands, she pushes into his line of sight, smiling. it's a pure smile, a natural smile, and presumably the smile he'd want to protect—from the likes of gilgamesh, or worse.

she cares for her noble, bumbling servant.]

That's right. [her archer is from the future.] When we separated in my timeline, Archer's Noble Phantasm was still unknown to me. We didn't need it, or we were able to go on without it, you were so powerful.

[ "Noble" isn't a word he would ever use to describe himself so it's just as well she doesn't say it. He doesn't normally "bumble", either, but as she very well knows, he isn't very good at addressing issues concerning himself.

That smile of hers is special, and indeed, it is something he would protect. Still, he can't help but shake his head at her last comment. ]

I am not so powerful, Rin.

[ Versatile, perhaps, but there again is that lack of self-esteem. ]

The truth of the matter is, because I owned neither a holy sword nor a demonic one in life, I do not have a true Noble Phantasm of my own.

[ His hand slides out of hers. ]

There is only one thing I can do.

Edited 2016-01-18 04:46 (UTC)

[just as well. fine, he'll be versatile. versatile is what they need—a considerable strength in itself—and if he doesn't think he's powerful, he's powerful because he's paired with her, an incredibly formidable magus. nothing he could say (about his abilities as a servant) would earn her criticism. with how miserly and shrewd she is on a good day, she already doesn't mind it if archer's greatest weapon is underhanded, or a fake.

they'll do what they have to, in order to win. that there's no holy grail war to participate in is irrelevant.

deliberately egging him on, she steps away once their interlinked hands come undone and she gives him a demand to honor, one stated in that familiar manner that means she would like for him to impress her.]

Show me, then.

[ He remembers. Though so many of his memories are hazy and indistinct now, he does recall when she took him to one of the highest places in the city and declared her intent for the Holy Grail War -- to fight to win. She had no wish for anything of grandeur, only to follow her own calling as a magus, a member of the Tohsaka family, and to attain victory. There was something beautiful about that, the simple clarity of vision and her will to succeed.

She looks at him in much the same way now -- no longer new to one another but partners committed to the task before them just the same. There is no Holy Grail War to fight, but there will be other dangers and other challenges. As his Master -- no, as the person to whom he has entrusted his life, his existence, his self -- she is entitled to full knowledge and understanding of the weapon she holds in her hands.

His prana surges, a circle of light drawing around his feet as the air crackles with power on the rise.

His eyes never leave hers, and he speaks it: the singular spell he was given when he became a Heroic Spirit. ]

I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unknown to Death.
Nor known to Life.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
Yet, these hands will never hold anything.
So as I pray, unlimited blade works.

[ The ground seems to erupt, and they're both swallowed in a fit of blinding light. When it fades, the landscape stretched before them is an endless wasteland with countless blades driven into the ground. Metal cogs turn behind him, and dark clouds roll overhead.

This is his world, the only thing he has to his name after years of servitude. Magic enough to counter the Gate, this is how Emiya Shirou defeated Gilgamesh during the War.

Unlimited Blade Works. ]

Edited (typos uwu) 2016-01-18 15:09 (UTC)

[before she first sees it, she anticipates what it will be.

caught on the intricate words of his activating spell, rin senses the suck of mana as her world goes bright to the point of blinding, and that dismal wasteland lodged faintly in her memories becomes the ground upon which she is standing. no chantes, building, wind, and cold can be found.]

Archer, this is...

[she adopts a somber expression befitting the atmosphere. if he misses the natural conclusions she reaches, the hint of thought passed between their shared link will erase any doubts.

this is a reality marble.]

Edited (repetition) 2016-01-18 16:08 (UTC)

[ She's seen it before -- a bleak and desolate landscape filled with countless weapons, stretching on in a seemingly endless sea. It's his world, the manifestation of his incantation, the story of a man who was saved by and lived as a sword, in life and after. It's neither grand nor glorious, a sobering sight, but for anyone who has never seen it, it would likely be overwhelming.

This is the culmination of hundreds, if not thousands, of years of servitude, fighting in various wars spanning the ages of human history.

He lets her take it in, and after a long moment, he tips his head in acknowledgement. She's right -- this is a Reality Marble. The source, breadth, and scope of all his abilities stem from this place.

Beckoning quietly, he gestures for her to follow him. ]

This is Unlimited Blade Works, Rin. As you know, the Emiya Shirou of your time has shown promise in two areas of magic only -- in strengthening and projection.

This Reality Marble is the culmination, if not the true face of the ultimate limits of those two magics. All of the weapons that you see are Noble Phantasms that I have seen, copied, and stored here since I first became a Heroic Spirit.

I can use them at will here or in the real world, as simple projectiles or the attack you saw me use against Berserker. They are all fakes, but a close enough imitation is effectively the real thing.

[ He stops finally and looks at her. ]

That is the extent of my ability as a Heroic Spirit.

Edited 2016-01-18 19:06 (UTC)

[unlimited blade works. she allows the name of her servant's noble phantasm to wash over her. it isn't enough for any typical person to guess his true identity from it—because emiya shirou wasn't a hero of legend, but a human who forced himself to become a hero.

had his reveal happened under other circumstances, she may have been so blown away by the enormity of this that she couldn't speak. as it is, it's still hard to stand and navigate across the dust and desolation towards him, swerving around sharp, foreboding blades of all shapes and kinds sticking out of the ground. she swallows, and it's very dry; it sticks. nevertheless, she walks, she understands, and she embraces the connections.

emiya shirou was only ever a mage—a substandard one, but a mage. perhaps he is a mage who worked hard to develop his own reality marble. everything about unlimited blade works breathes shirou, too, the final sordid masterpiece of projection pushed to its absolute limits.

she furrows her brow when she stops at his side, assuming the mantle of a master again. it's out of respect for him, his strength, and his pain. her heart is pumping from the excitement—what a major boon in a servant—but it's necessary for her to give her appraisal to him, too.]

You can challenge Gilgamesh with this. You're his opposite. —No, you can beat him, because you know how to wield every one of these weapons expertly.

[she doesn't need to verify that with archer to gather it's the case. his flawless, flowing fighting style with his normal short swords is proof enough of his skills.]

[ It's the perfected, final image of a man who not only never accepted defeat, but also lived, died, and continued to serve humanity even after his death at the cost of his own salvation.

It's a grim place, and even though he's come to terms with his past, himself, as much as he possibly can, that hasn't changed. He knows it, and there's a reason he doesn't showcase or use the Reality Marble itself very often. This is his world, a look at his own soul, and there are very few he'd care to share it with unless he had complete trust in them, or utter confidence that they would never see the light of day again.

He's quiet too, as she makes her assessment known, and she isn't wrong. In fact, she's absolutely right. Everything that he is, as a Heroic Spirit and a counter guardian places him in opposition to Gilgamesh. The other man knows it, too, and that's why things have been so tense ever since they met each other here.

It brings no sense of excitement to him, and in contrast, he's almost solemn. ]

Gilgamesh is not aware of the full scope of my capabilities, Rin. He suspects and has alluded to such, but as he is unable to determine my true name, he has not discerned the shape of my Noble Phantasm.

He is, however, aware that I am a counter guardian, which places me on the opposing end of the hierarchy that governs the world. In that respect, we are indeed opposites in every way. He will be wary of that, even though his arrogance may or may not lead him to underestimate me if we do engage one another here.

[ He lets that sink in, then: ]

This Reality Marble is a natural counter to the Gate of Babylon, and Gilgamesh is a king, rather than a warrior. Even so, there is one weapon he possesses that is more powerful than the rest of them combined.

For there to be a sure victory, it must be had before he draws that blade.

[she doesn't contradict him. rather, weak and small in the baring of his soul, her eyes dip to the dirt at her feet and she frowns.]

ALASTAIR would have neutralized it, if it could destroy entire worlds or the like.

[it's a soft protest, and what she realizes is a faulty argument. she can't know for sure that alastair has depowered anything of gilgamesh's. they've permitted archer to use his reality marble and that's significant magic in itself.

honestly, she's amazed by how everything keeps connecting. it seems not a single strand will be left frayed as it all weaves together, at this rate. what archer tells her explains not only gilgamesh's interest in him, but also his reasons for taunting him, and, yes—even partially his behavior in front of rin.]

Even if they didn't, you would defeat him in time. I'm confident of that. I believe in you. No one can stand up to my Archer.

[she waves her hand out, as though she isn't interested in hearing his opposition to those claims.]

Dismiss it, Archer. I've seen enough. We have to talk about that Servant, because he has a Master, now.

Edited (wording) 2016-01-18 21:27 (UTC)

[ Archer says nothing. She says ALASTAIR may have neutralized the most powerful aspect of Ea's abilities, and perhaps, she is right. However, there is no way of knowing that with certainty without facing the blade itself, and he would rather avoid that, if possible.

She expresses her confidence in him and his capabilities, and he's quiet on that also. He'll accept that too, even if nothing is truly certain until the chips are down and they're actually facing each other one-on-one.

At her order, he waves a hand, and Unlimited Blade works slowly vanishes. The curtain of his inner world rolls back so, once again, they are standing on a rooftop on a cool, wintery evening.

He folds his arms over his chest and looks at her expectantly. ]

I've spoken with her once.

[ A kind enough person, but utterly unprepared to handle someone like Gilgamesh. ]

What would you have me do?

[ She should know he is more than prepared to do whatever he thinks is necessary in order to keep her safe. ]

Edited 2016-01-19 00:01 (UTC)

[the wasteland ripples into cold stone beneath her boots and rin is almost thankful for it, although the drastic shift in reality hardly leaves her scrambling. she dusts away at her skirt as if there are fragments of dream-dust there that have stuck to her. then she invites herself to approach a small outcropping of a bench and hop on top of it to sit.]

What would I have you do...? Why, I'd have you do nothing. Pearl isn't someone we should concern ourselves with.

[rin shakes her head. she looks angry, but she's staring with heated eyes at the enveloping darkness, not him.]

You knew he had a Master and you never told me you spent time with her. She's got some nerve, calling me a little girl.

[ I'd have you do nothing.

Archer's eyes narrow slightly at that statement, but he says nothing. He might have expected such an assessment from Rin, given her earlier commands to avoid as many casualties as possible. As far as he's concerned, however, Pearl's contract with Gilgamesh makes her a threat by association. He won't say it, but that's simply the way it is.

He doesn't comment on the 'little girl' statement (clearly, Rin had a run-in of her own with the Gem), but he will address the other point. ]

I followed a conversation of theirs on the network and determined they had contracted from that. Our encounter over the holidays was incidental rather than deliberate.

[ Granted, he had intended to speak with her, but he didn't actually go out of his way to find her. ]

[he still spoke to another servant's master without informing rin of it. it doesn't sour her completely; rather, she's convinced more than ever that forcing them to engage in this little chat was the right decision.]

She's not prepared to be a Master. He must have used some sweet words and convenient little lies to convince her— She doesn't know everything he is, Archer. He formed the contract without coming clean with her. She shut me up when I tried to help her. That goldie really makes me sick!

[what rin skips over is the fact that even her gilgamesh and his gilgamesh may be different.]

Edited (wording) 2016-01-20 01:38 (UTC)

[ To be fair to him, he probably would have addressed the topic eventually, but quite a lot actually happened in the course of a few days. He wasn't entire sure where they stood after that little incident under the mistletoe so he let the matter go. ]

I informed her of the dangers when I spoke with her.

[ Very politely, in fact. Or as polite as you can be discussing topics such as mass genocide. ]

I do not care for him, either, Rin, but attacking his character will do very little to persuade her to undo what has already been done. If she has not made the attempt by now, it's unlikely that she will.

Regardless of what he said or did to win her favor in the first place, prepared or not, she is a Master and must be considered such.

[ He doesn't say it because he's said it before. In fact, he badgered her constantly over her decision to spare Shirou -- for more than one reason, of course, but ultimately, the point was the same.

An inexperience Master was an easy one to eliminate, regardless of the strength of the Servant. ]

[it doesn't take long at all to dawn on her, of course, that archer is effectively treating pearl the same as he did shirou. she adopts a similar reaction, bristling even in the dark and daring him to defy her.]

I will not consider her as a Master! Be very clear on that! She's a source of mana he can eat up so he doesn't die, nothing more!

[despite how rash her words are, it's a valid stance to choose. pearl could be formidable in her own right, but she was never formally trained to be a master. her only mentor is a servant, which is just plain wrong. (look at how often rin disciplines her servant.) she can be an "alastair" master, though she'll never be a true master to rin—not now.

the fortunate consequence of this is that rin treats her with mercy, however.]

I forbid you from harming her or acting with the slightest bit of hostility towards her, on threat of a Command Seal.

[ Archer is a pragmatist. Whatever ideals he might have held in life, he had no choice but to discard in order to fulfill his role as a cleaner. He sees things in a very clear-cut fashion, and mercy isn't something Servants are known for.

Gilgamesh is a threat and so is Pearl, by virtue of their association. Rin can paint it however she likes, but that's the truth that he sees. She consented to the contract, she's been informed, and she is no responsible for that knowledge along with her Servant. Her lack of experience and the fact that she isn't from their world makes no difference to him.

It's clear they're bound to disagree on this so he just 'hmph's softly and accepts it. ]

I wouldn't have you waste a Command Seal on something so trivial.

[ There's only three, after all, and if Gilgamesh's actions are any indication, she may need them for more important things. ]

I won't harm her.

Edited 2016-01-23 06:48 (UTC)

[so they agree on that, the matter of the command seals. rin quiets up nicely, as quickly as she'd hunched her back. your master is an angry cat, archer. truth be told, she would prefer not to use her command seals simply to keep archer in line; she thought they were beyond that, and she's far more likely to resort to giving him an earful of verbal abuse, first.

pearl might be a threat through gilgamesh, but she's a threat solely through maintaining his presence... as far as they know. for now. she agreed to assume the responsibilities of a master but rin has no idea if the gem is accepting responsibility for gilgamesh's actions, too, because who in their right mind would? it may all be one and the same to archer. for rin, there are nuances.

this is a life or death situation because of gilgamesh. making it into anything more is a mistake, and besides, gilgamesh is one concern out of many.]

Good.

[the word implies he had better take her seriously. then:]

Gilgamesh, after all, is another matter entirely. If he goes after me again—

[she winces, muted in the darkness. he'll feel the reluctant tremble of vulnerability through their shared link, and it strikes deep. too deep.]

[ Executioners don't deal in nuances. That's the difference between them, and it isn't something he'll apologize for.

Archer does, however, understand that she means what she says. Rin would actually waste a Command Seal on something so trivial if it meant forcing him to fall in line, and he would prefer to avoid that. He said he wouldn't harm Pearl, and of course, he'll abide by that. That doesn't mean, however, that he won't have contingencies in place just in case things go sour.

His expression darkens at the mention of Gilgamesh, the shared feeling between them enough to remind him of the threat he made then -- a promise he has no issue following through on. ]

If he touches you again, I'll kill him.

[ There is no compromise in his tone, and she can reprimand him all she likes, but he will not be persuaded otherwise. ]

[oh, she will not reprimand him on this. her father is worth the struggle.

rin straightens and nods her head, a subtle gesture that a heroic spirit like archer, with his excellent eyesight, will no doubt still identify.]

Yes. [that is what will happen. she's assented to it. she sees no problem with it. she relegates the servant to death as she grants the master her trust.] I don't care how you do it. You have permission to use Unlimited Blade Works, even, if you must, and it won't disturb life in Chantes too much. I know better than to expect he won't pull out the Gate in the middle of the city, all to protect his right to something he wants.

It's obvious that you'll have to spend a lot more time around me, starting now, Archer. Spirit form is best. He'll be able to detect you, but he'll know you're there if he gets any wise ideas, and he'll know we're ready to retaliate.

[she can pinpoint no other better option.]

[ With this, at least, they are on the same page. She says she'll allow him to deal with Gilgamesh as he sees fit if another "incident" occurs, and that's enough to leave him feeling settled, for now. That doesn't mean he won't consider all options available to him (honor isn't a handicap he has), but her willingness to accept it is something.

Spending more time around her is, of course, a given in his mind. He's hardly been away from her since that time, and he doesn't plan to start "wandering" now.

Curling his fingers into a fist, he lays it over his heart and inclines his head -- a gesture she should recognize. ]

My blades are yours, Rin.

[ Words he's spoken before but ones that may very well have more meaning now that she understands the true nature of the weapon she holds in her hands. Use them well, goes unspoken, but he thinks she'll understand. ]

[of course. doubtless rin would struggle to kill gilgamesh even if it was in her power to eliminate a servant. maybe not. maybe so. this doesn't cut into her ability to give serious orders to her servant, and they're orders she knows archer will honor when he doesn't honor the concept of "honor" at all.

once, they were both relatively clueless about the figurative tools he had strapped to his belt. now, in the absence of uncertainty—concerning his name, too—she stands again and strides over to him as the true master she always has been, confident and strong and young but that's only part of her unique quality.]

I'm glad to hear it. [it's acceptance and an admittance of responsibility all in one. then, an innocent-sounding question piques:]

Oh, and Archer?

[ It's true, of course. Honor isn't a concept that means very much to him, but his commitment to her isn't rooted in something so contrived. She is important to him, someone he can and should protect, and with certain issues dealt with and settled, he can unequivocally bind himself to her.

He looks up and straightens, his head tilted slightly to the side -- questioning, though he does not ask.

He's sure she'll tell him exactly what she wants him to know. ]

[she will.]

Let's make quick work of Chantes. You're from one version of my future—you know things I don't, even concerning Gilgamesh. I want to leave that alone for right now because it isn't the time. We have bigger missions ahead of us... Both of us, and they aren't just the ones ALASTAIR sets for us.

[rin pleaded to him before, didn't she? he needs to practice exposing the side of himself that's like emiya shirou, but never quite the same.

she smiles, big.

ruffling at the side of her long coat unearths a gleaming, beautiful jeweled sword she had pocketed away; he'll recognize the one. and her memento necklace is with him, heavy and half-full with mana, already suited to protecting the life force of this man through fate itself.]

Thank you for the gift. I'll use it wisely.

[she steps even closer and delivers a familiar, but perhaps shocking, request, cradling the curved weapon in both hands as though she means to knight him.]

Lean down.

[a momentary furrow in her brow, and she suddenly makes an odd face, briefly shaking her head and retreading on her words.]

... No, kneel.

[ He knows what she's referring to, of course. Regardless of his misgivings, Archer has listened to her and will not soon forget this discussion. She wants him to try, and he's already said that he will, no matter how uncertain the prospect makes him.

It's why he doesn't respond at first. He waits and watches as she draws forth the gift he gave her some days ago -- something that, in all actuality, was something he really did put a lot of thought and consideration into. He has her gift with him as well, though it isn't visible.

He considers her, her demeanor as well as her demand, and after a long moment, he sinks to one knee.

He doesn't know how to feel about this just yet, but he expect he will shortly. ]

[his form is perfect. although any other girl might be expected to blush and flush, rin is composed and together as she graciously tips at the waist—her hands carefully hovering around his head—to brush a soft, chaste kiss on the top of his head, just where his hairline meets his forehead. it's a little difficult to realize it is a kiss—it's a featherlight impression, there one instant and gone the next.

rin offers no comment demystifying it when she retreats.

this may be her attempt to prove she can do something like this again and it won't be weird between them, or that she won't run away and she really isn't upset, or she treats him differently than she does shirou, the two of them are separate in her mind, and it's fine.

she whispers from slightly above him, but not too far, because archer is tall to a ridiculous degree of her height even while he's on one knee.]

I won't say I'm sorry for what I did underneath the mistletoe, but this resolves it, okay? Do you forgive me?

Edited (forgot to make an edit...) 2016-02-01 02:59 (UTC)

[ He appreciates that she doesn't, honestly. For all the complexities involved in their relationship, it feels more natural to simply brush those kinds of things aside. The bond between a Master and Servant is close enough as it is, another heartbeat, a soul existing alongside your own. He couldn't ask for more than that, and he is grateful to have it at all.

The light brush comes as a surprise, and he closes his eyes when her lips briefly touch his skin. He doesn't know how he feels, it's strange, but not demanding in the same way as the mistletoe. This is easy, comfortable, and a quiet warmth curls inside his chest -- the very same place, he so often thinks, his heart no longer exists.

He doesn't need to hear a long drawn-out apology or anything of the kind. This is better, in his view, and a soft, faint smile graces his lips -- not the boy she saw days ago, but an echo of him, there and gone in the blink of an eye. She quells the storm that so often rages inside him, and a moment of peace and serenity, no matter how short, is more meaningful than words can say.

His answer comes just barely above a whisper. ]

I do.

[ If anything, he already had. ]

( closed ) you keep making me weak

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2/2 i lied

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