epidemiology | EVENT ▸ RETURN TO HQ

EVENT ▸ RETURN TO HQ

RETURN TO HQ

After a tough mission, it's time to return to Headquarters for a well-earned rest. Hathaway's medics and healers are there to patch up any lingering injuries (as are any teammates with healing abilities!), everyone's room is tidied up for them, and the entirety of Hathaway HQ is ripe for exploring. Take your time -- you earned it.

Also sharing downtime at HQ are Guilds Horatio, Montague, and Watchman, composed of humanoids of various shapes and sizes. Temporary pop-up shops down in the promenade include a spa where one can get a manicure, pedicure, or other beautifying procedures; a yoga studio; and an imported salt cave for meditation.

After a few days of silent relaxation, members of Guild Ophelia will all receive a text message on their magitek from Imogen -- their Guild Master, if they don't remember. Imogen, while not directly involved in any world-saving affairs, has a rather sizable amount of inheritance that she puts towards the Hathaway cause. Specifically, she uses it to finance Ophelia's endeavors. This sort of makes her in charge, or as much in charge of this rag-tag team as any one person can be.

Hello, Ophelia!

Once again, allow me to congratulate you on your successful mission in Hanabira. I hear the wedding went smashingly. Hathaway's analysts should rift down someone to check in on your success in several years, but the mathematicians are confident your solution has brought peace to the region.

One should never rest on their laurels, however. From what I've seen in magitek messages, this guild is sorely lacking in the ability to work together and trust all guildmates, regardless of who they are. I've spotted more than a few barbs exchanged. Hanabira will be only an exception if you continue to behave this way.

We'll be conducting guild bonding exercises today. While they are not mandatory, I assure you I've procured incentive for you all to participate. It isn't cheap to finance your exploits, and I won't spend my resources on a group of ruffians slinging insults at each other.

Meet by the memorial fountain in one hour, and do try to bring a positive attitude.

Your Guild Master,
Imogen

Those who choose to participate will find Imogen, a very prim and graceful elf dressed in elaborately embroidered robes, standing near the fountain. She greets everyone by name -- "nice to see you" and "glad you could make it" -- before directing them to the training rooms on the upper deck.

The training rooms include run-of-the-mill exercise equipment and the training simulation room, both of which are free to use by participants and non-participants alike. A tall, strong-looking man whom some may recognize as their recruiter is making use of the equipment. His name is Khalef, and he is happy to answer questions about the training facilities or anything else about Hathaway.

Between exercises, Imogen is available at the memorial fountain to chat but she's otherwise busy with paperwork.

▸ SECRETS

Two partners sit in a room furnished only with two (very comfy, if it matters) chairs and a table between them. On the table sits -- floats, really -- a colorful orb, softly glowing. It is comfortably warm to the touch.

The instructions automatically flash across the participants' magitek, thanking them for participating and asking them both to answer the following questions with complete honesty to gain the most from this exercise. Then, the first question pops up: What is something you like about your exercise partner?

It seems simple enough. If a participant tells the truth, they will notice the orb's glow brightening, almost as if it is starting to flame. If a participant lies, they will notice the orb's glow dimming. Otherwise, there is no penalty for lying.

The questions slowly get more personal, with the aim of getting the two partners to open up to each other:

If a crystal ball could tell you the future, what would you want to know?

What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself?

What are you most proud of accomplishing?

What do you think existed before the universe was created?

What do you think is the worst crime a human could commit?

Do you think jealousy has value in driving people to improve themselves, or is it a purely negative emotion?

If you could start your life over, what would you do differently?

If you were given only one week to live, how would you spend it?

Who had the greatest impact on your life? What was it?

What’s the difference between justice and revenge?

Is it possible to live a normal life and not ever tell a lie?

Do the ends justify the means?

Are some people’s lives worth more than others? Why or why not?

Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

If a loved one died, but someone created a perfect copy, would they be the same person and would you love them just as much?

If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

( Mod note: the above are just ideas! You can pick and choose, or come up with your own. Whatever is most fun for you! )

If the two partners truthfully answer their questions, the orb will eventually catch fire, although it will curiously still remain only pleasantly warm if anyone attempts to touch it. It will blaze until it burns out, leaving two small marble replicas in its place. When one of the partners grasps it in their hand, they will be able to see through the other partner's eyes for one minute (although they will not be aware of their own surroundings, so you might want to be in a safe area). The other partner will be aware of this and able to sever the link by removing the marble from their person. These items are bound to their owners and cannot be used by others.

If one or both partners lie, the orb will eventually fizzle out entirely, and the magitek will inform them that the exercise was failed due to deceit.

▸ RIFTING

Next, guild members are directed to the rifting pad located on the upper deck. Technicians scurry about in the rifting area, spinning dials and taking readings, as volunteers are directed to stand on the rifting pad and wait. It's just like rifting to a different universe for a mission -- the world goes bright and then, in a flash, you're standing somewhere else -- except the technicians emphatically explain this is not a mission. It's still part of the training exercise, you see!

Participants have been rifted to an unpopulated garden planet, in the middle of a forest clearing. The grass is tall -- nearly 150 cm in height -- and is surrounded on all sides by forest. A notice pops up on your magitek that informs you there is no aggressive local wildlife, but there are aggressive plants: including, unfortunately, your goal for this part of the exercise.

Spread throughout the forest are aggressive willow trees, sentient flora that will lash out with sharp, clawlike branches at anyone who comes too close. The branches have incredible reach, but the trees have no other defense, and are rooted to the spot so they are also unable to maneuver. The goal of the exercise is to gather as many willow seeds as possible, ostensibly without hurting the trees themselves. Willow seeds are around the size of a small marble and have a fluffy attachment that will allow them to blow away on the wind; you can scour the forest in search of them, of course, but the highest concentration is below the willows themselves.

Once participants feel they have gathered enough seeds -- or if they simply want to give up -- they need only speak to the rift technicians via magitek and they will return back to Headquarters immediately.

The participants will each receive a pot of soil and a seed to plant within it. The plant that sprouts from it will be no ordinary plant; it will require no water to sustain itself, but it will require something else: friendship. As the relationship between the two participants strengthens, the plant will grow, its appearance representing how the other participant feels about the plant owner -- pink and red blooms may represent romantic love, whereas bright, multi-colored petals may simply represent a strong friendship or budding blooms may represent... well, a budding friendship. (Of course, there's no "flower guide", so it's up to them to decide how to interpret this.) As the relationship weakens, the plant will wilt and, if the relationship turns sour enough, die. So take care of your relationship and take care of your plant!

▸ COMPOSURE

This exercise completed, participants are free to return to the first deck and go about their business. But on the elevator back down from the rifting pad, the elevator suddenly jerks violently and then stalls. You're stuck! The emergency button doesn't seem to be working, no matter how many times you press it. And for that matter, no messages seem to be going through the magitek, either. You're effectively trapped in here with whomever you stepped aboard -- a friend, an acquaintance, or even a stranger.

But don't panic -- surely Hathaway hired you for your ingenuity and not just your pretty face, right?

The elevator can be broken out of in a number of ways:

If you brute strength the doors open, you'll find that the elevator is stuck halfway between floors. This means that you must either climb up or down to escape the narrow opening, and, if your partner isn't the athletic type, help them out as well.
If you hack the elevator's control panel (prying the panel door off first, obviously), you may be able to guide it up and down the shaft. Depending on your expertise in this sort of thing, the ride may be jerky and uncomfortable, and there's always a risk of the elevator plummeting down to the bottom if you lose control -- although strangely, there's never any impact if this happens, only the elevator springing back up the shaft after the fall. Either way, you should be able to figure out how to get the doors open.
If you open the access hatch at the top of the elevator, you'll be granted access to the elevator shaft. It's a dimly lit tunnel of cables and wires, and unless you're lucky enough to find a service ladder in the midst of all of it, you'll have to use the cables to climb. It's dangerous -- you could lose your footing at any moment and slam back down onto the elevator below -- but you should be able to find a door eventually. And then it's only a matter of figuring out how to get it open.
Or you could try a combination of these, or something entirely different!

No matter what method you choose, once you find your way onto solid ground, your magitek will light up:

Congratulations! You passed the final exercise. Rest assured, you were never in any real danger, I promise!

Your Guild Master,
Imogen

Indeed, if you found yourself falling too far down the shaft, you would have found yourself instantly buffeted by invisible winds to keep your landing soft -- and if you found yourself unable to find a way to escape within two hours, the elevator would automatically start up again.

Those who succeed will receive a flashlight that does not seem to work at first; however, it is capable of taking and storing light from its immediate surroundings, which it can then release into similar light sources or, in the absence of those, floating orbs of light. It is incapable of taking light out of an entire building, for an example, but can darken a room.

▸ OOC NOTES

If you have questions about this log, please direct them to this comment on the plotting post. Questions about the game in general can be directed to the FAQ.

▸ Up now:

Hanabira Bounty Board is still open! Bounties must be turned in by the start of the next mission on 15 April.
Congratulations, Guild Ophelia now has an official uniform! The uniforms may be modified in any way characters like. The FAQ and Headquarters pages have been updated to include the uniform information.

▸ Coming next:

25 March: Mandatory How's My Driving meme. Participation is required to pass March AC.
28 March: April calendar, including news about apps.
01 April: March AC begins, ending on 5 April 23:59 UTC.

▸ Plotting ▸ Hathaway Headquarters ▸ Hanabira Bounty Board ▸ March Calendar

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ So much PDA, if she's not careful people might think she knows him! He lets his arm hang off her shoulder, because his limbs are gargantuan. He is always comfortable with PDA, though, because he isn't a weirdo who hates things like happiness and love, so this isn't some shocking movement. He's usually just scared that she'll get mad at him if he tries to initiate PDA and, god forbid, call him tacky, so he waits until she does. ]

Ummm, judging by my intimate knowledge of Pandoran culture, I'm assuming people die. Just an educated guess.

[PDA really embarrasses her, okay, love is fine! Love is just fine. But she's getting better at it all the time; she held his hand on cat planet and kissed him at the empresses' wedding. Pretty soon she'll say she loves him outside their quarters and everything, stop the presses.]

Wow, so you already knew. Egg on my face.

[She actually is really into this arms on each other thing, and she leans against him a little as she steers them toward the elevator to the residential level.]

What about... Helios weddings? Did anyone even get married up there?

[ It was a fucking wedding, literally a celebration of romantic love, how brave she is for kissing him. He makes a face, scrunching up his nose. ]

Uh, well, people could leave sometimes, you know. Like, you didn't have to make every single event an office party. ...I mean, you had to make most of them office parties, the vacation plan was— haha, it was probably a human rights violation or something.

[ Everything about working for Hyperion was a human rights violation, even the orgies. Especially the orgies because he never got invited and that's discrimination tbh. ]

But people had regular weddings, too. Regular regular, not Pandoran regular. [ Because his normal is the real normal, not hers, sorry!!! ] Like, crappy destination weddings or ones with really cliche themes. [ How to put this in terms she'll understand... ] You know, like the ones you see on the ECHOnet.

Oh, my god, [she says, brightening because she can share a destination wedding story instead of scowling at how rude he's being,] I once saw one where a couple made their entire family go to Aquator. They were from Isolus or something ridiculous. [Look, it's still rude he thinks her entire knowledge of life outside Pandora comes from ECHOnet shows. Even if it's true.]

Whaaat... kind of wedding do you want? I assume you've had wedding dreams since you were a little boy. [Rhys meticulously planning Barbie wedding seating arrangements.] Exactly how many glitter cannons?

Oh, my god, shut up. None.

[ Glitter cannons are so last year. She's so rude, insinuating he planned his little Barbie weddings — he planned Barbie board meeting seating arrangements, thank you very much. That's way less embarrassing, obviously. ]

I was too busy having wildly successful C.E.O. dreams to plan my wedding to the most popular girl in fourth grade. But I can say with 99 percent confidence that none of my dreams involve glitter cannons.

Ha. Fine, I toootally believe you. [She doesn't. In case that wasn't clear.

She lets go of him once they reach the elevator, because while she can tolerate walking while hanging all over each other, just standing there like that is too fucking embarrassing.]

So you never thought about a wedding? No glitterless plans? [she says, stepping inside the elevator and holding the door for him because she's a gentleman like that.]

[ Are you fucking kidding, he can't deal with her PDAphobia. But whatever, at least she's being polite enough to not let his limbs get chopped off by the elevator or whatever. That makes up for about 25 percent of it. ]

I mean. In the sense that I thought I'd probably have one someday. [ And that Handsome Jack would be there. As the groom. Just kidding. Maybe. He had a weird dream once. ] I'm not secretly married, if that's why you're grilling me. I would totally be bragging right now if I were secretly married.

[Look, nothing is stopping him from holding her hand or whatever, he can just reach out and do it! She won't slap him away or anything, plus she might laugh stupidly, which he goes gaga for, don't even try to deny it.

She leans all caszhj against the wall, though it's not like it's a super long ride upstairs or anything. But ABP, always be posing.]

Oh, my god. No. [She'd punch him if he were secretly married. Even more if he bragged about it!] I'm curious, okay, we just came from a very magical wedding. It's topical. Plus, I never really imagined I'd have one, so... I dunno. Just... yeah, just curious.

[ Stupid laughing is his Thing, don't judge him. He's not leaning caszhj-ly against the wall because he's not a cool kid, but when he sees her do it, he automatically mirrors her; forever copying Fiona, this is his life. ]

Oh, my god, come on. You never thought you'd be Mrs. Psycho? There's so many eligible bachelors on Pandora.

[ Just being CASUALLY PLANETIST, you know how it is. ]

[This copycat, this imitator. This plagiarist. She doesn't mind, though; it's cute.

She does mind a little how disparaging he is being about her home planet, though. Only she is allowed to do that, he's not from there. He doesn't get the privilege.]

You realize I'm from Pandora. Are you saying I'm not marriage material?

[ Oop. He wants to insult her (all the time, obviously, it's a compulsion, an illness) but not that much. Fun insults only. Funsults, patent pending.

He shrinks a little, holding his hands up. He's so sweet and innocent, leave him alone. ]

I said bachelors, don't hurt me.

[YEAH, AND FIONA IS A BACHELOR!! Because she's so manly, get it.

She looks at him in silence for a second, eyebrows raised, then pushes off the wall to stand straight. It's at this time that the elevator doors open -- she timed it, she's lame, don't judge her -- so she steps out, holding her hand behind her and just assuming he'll take it and follow.]

No promises.

[ Fiona's cool girl elevator routine, timed down to the second. He snatches up her hand immediately, pathetic little Fionaphile that he is; he loves to hold her dumb hand, it's so dumb. ]

If you kill me, I'm pretty sure they'll kick you out of Hathaway. That seems like a thing. Not killing your coworkers. [ It wasn't at Hyperion, obviously, but APPARENTLY that's not normal!!! ]

[He's very predictable, but it's sweet; she loves when he follows her like a lovesick little puppy, it's a big part of why she likes him so much. WORSHIP HER.

Squeezing his hand, she glances back over her shoulder.] I didn't say I'll kill you. I might just hurt you a little. [u know. smexily.] They can't fire me for that.

[ don't ever type smexily ever again i'll report you to the authorities ]

You really don't know how jobs work, huh. [ It's cute, she's so unemployed. She's never worked in an office, it's like she's a unicorn or something. ] Technically, you're not supposed to beat anyone up. Uuuunless you don't get caught, then anything's fair game. I guess they don't teach you that in con artist school.

No, we were encouraged to beat people up at every opportunity. [She's joking. Because obviously there's no such thing as con artist school, not that she wasn't encouraged to beat people up.

At their door, she lets go of him again (a crime) so they can get inside, though this time she doesn't hold the door, just prances in.]

I get the mirror first, I want to check out how tiny my pores are now.

[ Rhys expects her to hold the door, so he ends up with a door to the face; someone needs to teach this dumpster baby some manners, although even if they did, he feels like she'd only use them when she wants something. He pushes the door open behind her, rolling his eyes. ]

What pores? Welcome to the ranks of the poreless. You can thank me effusively for changing your life any minute now.

[As her Hanabiran husband (H²), it's his responsibility to teach her manners. He's slacking on his god-given responsibility.

Already peering at herself in the bathroom mirror, she pushes her hat back on her head so the shadow doesn't disrupt her observations.] Ohhh, my god. I don't even need to wear makeup. [I mean. She will. But.]

What can I ever do to thank you, O Great One?

[ He leans on the counter, just casually posing, whatever. ]

Weeeell, you can tell me how I look. Is it amazing. Am I so beautiful it's actually hard to look at me because it's like staring into the sun? Just giving some suggestions here.

[Keep your pose game up in case of Google.

Snorting, Fiona turns to look at him appraisingly, lips pursed. After a moment of silence, she takes her hat off and plops it on his head instead.]

You're the prettiest boy I ever saw, [she says, inching over so she can lean all up against him; this is all mostly a joke.] I'm excited to see how good you look without your clothes on.

[ GOOGLE HQ ALWAYS TAKING PICS. He goes pink, as turbohonkies like him are wont to do, and snorts awkwardly. ] Haha, shut up. [ He didn't get his dick steamed, GOOP never told him to do that; they're very vagina-centric, it's quite frankly offensive.

He pushes this hussy away with his weak baby hands, although obviously he's not trying that hard. It's almost like he likes her or something, gross. ] Since you know all my ideas are awesome now, Iiii guess you'll have to try all my hobbies.

[She's excited to see his manzilian! She's also just excited to make him blush, it's very satisfying, and she laughs, booping him on the nose as she walks past him so she can flop down on the bed.]

Your other hobbies all involve computers, I'm not doing anything with those. [He probably also likes to play Magic: The Gathering or something equally stupid, but it goes without saying she's not doing that, either.] But I like this pampering thing. We can do more of that.

[ She played Bunkers & Badasses with him and she liked it, goddammit. She can play MTG too!!! Be the geek girl of his dreams as well as the high school bully of his dreams. Get you a girl who can do both. ]

You're not a country bumpkin anymore, technology isn't bad and fire isn't witchcraft!

[ Because obviously that's how she lived on Pandora, terrified of computers and fire. My Girlfriend The Cavewoman. ]

This time next year, you're going to have a robot pinky toe. Just you wait.

[Ew, gross, no, she hated B&B. Don't slander her, she doesn't like anything that isn't cool and impressive.]

I'm not -- I was never a country bumpkin, shut up! What would I even do with a robot pinkie toe? Make ECHO calls from my foot?

[ He rolls his eyes at her insistence she isn't a bumpkin; Hollow Point does not count as a city. It's a cave. She's a cave bumpkin. ]

Oh, my god, see, you're already getting excited about it.

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