epidemiology | Stay on these roads

Entry tags:

thor (marvel comics)

Stay on these roads

CHARACTERS: Odinson and friends
DATE: From the truth bomb onward
WARNINGS: None yet?
SUMMARY: Thor deals with the fallout of the truth bomb, poorly.

Truth Bomb
[The feeling is familiar, even if he isn't being stabbed by the sword directly. A lurch in the gut- a stabbing pain that isn't so much physical as existential, radiating through his entire being. It hurts everywhere and nowhere at once. The truth hurts.

He hasn't gone to the birthday party, he's too big, too easily noticable by the Vakdir. So it's only those who've stayed at the Hotel Drakenstad who'll hear him thrash about, letting out an unholy scream before the pain passes.]

Moping
[The truth is hard to hear and for days Thor will keep to himself, avoiding friends and allies until they're called back to Headquarters. Even back there he'll do his best to avoid everyone else, but there's only so far he can go on a ship. There are always places people will know to look for him: in the public steam rooms, in the gym, in his rooms.]

Wildcard
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[There's another who hadn't gone to a certain premier social event of the Drakstaden season. Who had taken herself to to the Vakdir headquarters and waited for the signal, thinking that she would still be able to fight. That she wouldn't be so badly affected by the fearsome spell that the fools had decided to set loose on the city. After all, even if she didn't tell anyone else... she had admitted it to herself, had she not?

That she had sacrificed others for her own sake, and turned her eyes from the plight of her own kind in the hope to improve her own lot. That she had let herself be deceived into thinking she was better than the armless, better than other mares, better the weak- and even if it had been to survive, even if it had... it had been wrong. That not to believe the offer of freedom when it had been right before her eyes had been wrong. What she'd built her honor, her entire life upon... had been wrong.

But it wasn't that lie that twisted in her gut and sent her to knees. It wasn't that which made crippled her in waves, that made it harder for her to extract her revenge on the Vakdir... and harder to look her "teammates" in the eye upon their return, the revelation of her weakness too raw to seek even the comfort she had grown to enjoy, instead dragging herself back to her own quarters with the taste of blood in her mouth.

Until they're back on the ship, in the black, again, and she's in her proper shape again, standing outside Odinson's door.

Knocking on the door.]

[It's tempting to remain silent and pretend he isn't in.

(More hiding. More cowardice instead of bravery. This is not who he is- who he wants to be- curse Gram and her truth that wouldn't leave him be. Curse him for being a fool for so long.)

He calls across the room:] Who is it?

[As much as she tends to avoid the magitech... Hayame had used it to check his location before she'd come.

She knows he's in there. Waits, staring down at her hooves, until he answers.]

It is Hayame.

[Whether that answer meant he would open the door or not... she wasn't sure.]

[Odin's balls.

Silence, then-] A moment. [A few seconds later and the door opens.

He has no words. He has been avoiding her without excuse.] I- [The Fates alone know how he keeps from making an excuse anyway. His mouth opens and closes again.]

Will you enter?

[Another moment is little consequence at this point. She waits. Pointlessly adjusts the hide at her waist until he opens the door, and she finds herself looking down at him- the first time in... it seems a very long time. Since they had reunited in Azeria.

But the missions always did seem a long time, no matter the truth passage of days.]

... That is why I came.

[It had taken her time as well... but perhaps not as long as him. Enough that she had noticed his sequestering. But while she would have respected it, kept her distance if this were months ago...

She cannot do that any longer. (Rather. Does not want to.)]

Will you let me in?

Of course. There is... much to say. [He's speaking entirely for himself and the magnitude of the truths he's been shown.]

Please, be welcome. [Her company in his room has become familiar enough that suddenly feeling awkward is a very strange feeling. He does not like it, and it prompts him to speak as soon as the door is closed.] You cannot have missed that I have been avoiding you.

[She realizes when she enters that she does not know where to go. She has not come here on four hooves before, and for a moment she stands bereft, tail swishing somewhat awkwardly before she finds herself almost relieved that he speaks so bluntly.

It means she can remain unseated, turning back to regard him somewhat... even she isn't sure. Not in the wake of her own revelation. Not reluctant as she is to assign reason to others' actions these days.]

... it seemed you have avoided us all.

[Or she would take a bit more personal level of offense.]

You are not the only one.

[But she can guess the reason. Gram.]

Edited 2018-06-09 11:44 (UTC)

[It shouldn't be a surprise to discover she'd had her own revelations. It should be unpleasant to realise he hasn't thought of anyone but himself these past few days... but it's a relief instead-]

You also...? [Hopefully she won't take offense at his half-surprised, half-relieved tone.]

[Her expression will reveal the answer before she can find the words. The way she looks away a moment, down, in shame. In recollection of the words the truth spell had dredged up in her, echoing in her memory just barely audible over the roar of a waterfall.

Don't you want to live in a world where it's alright to be happy about that?

She did. She did, and yet to say it out loud, to admit such weakness and try to forge it into strength-]

... I also.

[Her hooves seem too loud in her ears when she turns back to face him properly, to search his face for her answers, not yet reaching for him.]

If you would not have me ask, nor have me here yet, you must say so now.

[Her respect for privacy was strong yet. He had only one more out, if he desired it.]

No- [It's out almost before she's finished speaking. He's more tempted by the offer than he thought he'd have been, but it would shame not only him but all his ancestors to back away now.]

Hiding from the truth will not make it vanish. I have hidden long enough.... and you must agree, or you'd not be here. [They've faced physical danger together, among other things. Surely this is just as achievable.]

[He answers quickly. Perhaps quicker than she'd thought, but who is she to guess such a thing? Speaking... it has never been her strong point, and though he had claimed to her to be no wordsmith... in comparison she has always found him skilled. Or perhaps... just more honest. More clear.

At first, she can only nod. Swallow.]

I came to see if you were alright.

[But she knows that sounds again like an excuse, another deflection, and she forces herself to rephrase it.]

... and to speak.

[Accepting it, he nods.] Will you sit?

[His rooms aren't exactly build for hosting other humans, but he hopes she'll feel at ease to make herself as comfortable as she'd like to be. For himself, a chair will do.]

Had I some mead, I'd make the offer. [But he's drunk it all. Don't judge him for being a terrible host, please.]

I will hold you to the offer later.

[Maybe they'd need it.

It seems strange to her, to sit. Each time she has been here since that first visit had been... far more lying than sitting, and to take a space across from him, as if she were discussing battle strategy with her instructor or fletching arrows across from another armed jinba seems... strange. But she waits for him to sit, and only then circles a spot on the floor before she bends a knee and lowers herself, human palms touching the floor a moment as she adjusts and gets her back hooves under her belly before they find a resting place on her forelegs instead. With her height, and him sitting... laying down she is more at his height. Can easier look him in the eye.]

You may have my ear, regardless.

[After all... she cannot refuse that now. Not after she had finally put word to what they might be. Not after she had listened to part of the story... that she wonders she might hear more of now.]

[It's nice to be at equal heights when they sit.]

I did... promise to tell you the rest of my story.

[So it would be the story.

The story of Thor, that sometimes felt as if he spoke of a different person, when she had always known him as Odinson. But... no. They were the same.]

... Some day. Yes.

[But maybe that's this day. Maybe today was the day she also had to tell a story. The truth.

Her fingers tighten just slightly on her fore knees. It takes courage, for her to honest. She assumed, for him as well. So to listen... it was a duty she would undertake.]

It is- the truth bomb my brother created. What it revealed to me had to do with how I became unworthy... what it means. [He had avoided this, when they last spoke. Perhaps now, with this new revelation, he has the strength.]

I've not spoken to you of Gorr, the God Butcher, have I?

[Just like she had been, that day in Drakstaden tangled up in the sheets, Hayame is seized with the desire to refute him. To, even if it were just a murmur, a whisper, insist that he was not unworthy.

Not to her.

But just as she had kept quiet then, knowing that such a thing might sound ignorant or foolish to his ears, when she doesn't even know the whole tale... she manages to keep quiet again. For now.]

You have not.

Then, I will begin.

[It is a long story, but he keeps it as short as he can. As he speaks he'll answer any questions she has.

It involves a alien being named Gorr who felt his gods had abandoned him. He therefore decided to kill all gods- believing that the universe would be better without them. Mortals should focus on improving their lives instead of praying for help, he believed. And so he slaughtered his way through the cosmos, murdering and enslaving gods until he had created a bomb which would end all deities forever.

Three Thors stood against him: a young, not yet worthy, Thor, an old Thor, the last Asgardian alive in a future where Earth and all life on it were dead, and Thor as he was now, hero to Earth and the cosmos. It took all three of them to defeat Gorr, but it was Thor- this Thor- who struck the final blow. The gods were saved, peace restored, and the universe knew the name of Thor.]

But I did not have peace. [His voice is heavy, continuing after a pause.] I feared that Gorr was right. That the gods were unnecessary, a burden even. That the universe would be better without them. I know enough of my own kind to see that most do not care for mortals. So I devoted myself to proving him wrong. To show that there was one god in all the realms who could be called on for aid.

[There are no tears in his eyes, but his voice catches as he speaks. Oh, what a hero he had been.] Thor, son of Odin, was known across the universe as a hero of those who called to him. With Mjolnir at his side, there was no foe he could not defeat.

Until I learned that Gorr had been right. [Even now it weighs him down to say.]

[Like many of his stories... it is beyond what her imagination had been able to handle, not one year past. Now, she can hear it without thinking herself mad. Now, after all she has seen, she can believe it.

But it is still fantastical. Still something she can't even come up with questions for, because... what can she even ask? It is all she can do to follow the story. Three Thors, and a being who spat upon the gods...

It isn't that, though, that makes her fingers curl impotently on her knees in desire to reach for him. It's the emotion in his voice that tells her she can't doubt a single detail of the tale.

She thinks of her own world. Of the way the humans prayed to the gods in the shrine and in the temples. Of the sutra she'd instructed one of her party to read above the corpse of the hunter they'd found along the way to Tsurugi. She had never placed her faith in gods, but...]

I do not understand.

[Hayame hates to admit it. But she can here, in this room, with only him.]

Who is this Gorr to say so? And even if they do not help humans... surely they do not hurt any more than a flood, or a plague-

[So why?]

[ it was, in the long run, Loki's idea; which made all the consequences somehow Loki's fault.

he did it fully knowing what it may mean for Ophelia; he did it knowing what it would mean for both him and Thor. the regret doesn't extend far, and even if Thor thought it was a poor idea, he would've driven forward with the self-sacrifice regardless of naysayers.

where he could not stay close to his brother during the wave (the curse, the horror), he arrives now. the sword is in his hand, held loosely between dark fingernails. gravity drags on his face, turning down his usually scheming features and rearranging them into something akin to exhaustion. ]

Thor.

[ his finger wipes the corner of his mouth, his voice breathless. ]

[Thor- Odinson- (and wasn't the truth of that clear to him now) has taken to the roof. It's raining, because while he has no choice in facing these truths he can choose where and how he does face them.]

Brother. [It's a moment before he lifts his gaze up, takes in the outcome of HATHAWAY's mission.

It's your fault, he thinks almost bitterly as his eyes drop to the sword. He doesn't say it. It's his own fault for not facing these truths sooner.]

[ the sword weighs in his hand, and then he twists it until the blade is drawn down. it's offered out freely this time, rather than as a weapon. ]

Shatter it; its time is over.

[ the rain weighs him down, but the exhaustion doesn't slow his resolve. ]

It should've stayed that way. It was born of a curse, and the curse needs to end.

Edited 2018-06-10 04:48 (UTC)

Bad day? [It's a poor joke made with no attempt at humour.

All the same he takes the sword, feeling his own anger in Loki's words. Time to end it- How easy would that be. He tests it in his hands, it wouldn't take much effort at all to unmake it.

And yet he doesn't break it yet.]

You succeeded?

[ it feels like a relief leaving his hand. ]

To the extent that you would call it a success, then yes, I suppose it was. Among many other things, of course.

[ bright eyes go to Thor, examining him as if he can pinpoint what discomfort hounded him during the wave of truth. ]

Aye. And what comes of it we cannot yet know. [He means the attempt to win the city back from the corrupt government, but his eyes are on the sword.

Breaking it now won't undo what's been done; he sets it aside. Then he adds, half to himself:] The second time was no kinder than the first.

No.

[ he admits, pausing for a moment. he realizes that Thor doesn't know, but there's quite a lot that he hasn't told him. ]

The second time is never any easier. The sword itself doesn't get easier.

[ Thor's eyes are the only ones on the blade. ]

The truth always comes with a price. Perhaps this place can't bear it.

[The city may not be the only one, the thinks.

What does he expect to find when he looks up at his brother? He's not sure.] And you- are you bearing it? You look terrible. [Not that Odinson looks any better.]

[ tired—he looks tired. reliving his crimes isn't his greatest idea, but reliving his crimes so he could help to save Drakenstad was another story. he had told Thor that he would continue changing, that it was what he wanted, and he had stayed true to that.

he was not the child Thor left behind, but nor is he the old, evil Loki that had claimed the body of his fallen self.

perhaps he had become something else entirely. ]

Yes, well, I'm not very good at telling the truth. Especially not to myself.

[ kind of a joke. ]

[Loki isn't within reach or he'd receive a hug of some kind.]

You are better at it than you were. [Which may not be saying much, but Odinson feels there has been a change. For the better.]

[ Thor gets a flash of a very tired, but trying, smile. ]

The path between lies and truth is a very long, very foggy one, brother.

[ there's a sight that comes out from between his lips as he rolls his shoulders back. ]

Well? You're not just going to stare at it, are you? It was created by and old Loki as a curse, and its existence an anomaly. It can do all the good it can, with or without consequence.

There are always consequences when confronted with the truth- [He falters, words failing him. That whisper, that Gorr was right. It might have been true, but that didn't mean all the things he'd believed were a lie.]

It's done some good. [He looks back down at the blade. Last time he'd broken it in anger, a furious rage not at the sword but at his brother. At the truth.]

You really think it for the best?

[ so many whispers, and so many truths that had haunted them. this wasn't the crux of the decision, but the consequence. the truth didn't have him begging for forgiveness this time, it didn't have him on his knees, but offered a far more harrowing reality. ]

Any remnants of King Loki need to be removed. He's still out there, Thor, even if I may not become him, he still is bent on destruction. Where it's useful to me it's also useful to him.

[ and, more importantly: ]

I don't need anything that he constructed.

[Taking up the sword again, a long moment passes where he simply looks down at it. He could say something, he thinks. Let Loki know that he's aware of the difference between now and the last time it had been broken.

In the end it takes only a twist of his wrists. There's a snap, a release of noise and energy and magic- Thor is leaning against a wall, or he'd have been pushed over- but when the light fades he has two pieces of the sword in his hands.]

There. It is done.

[ perhaps it's why he offered it.

it's not just King Loki's looming influence that's driving his decision. it's an offer of trust, a knowledge that even in anger when Thor had shattered the sword, that his decision had been sound. it's a quiet, meaningful thing.

as Thor puts stress on the blade, Loki holds his breath. the curse washes over him, makes demands, and dissipates like so many other things. as it goes, Loki's eyes wander with it, and then return to Thor.

a few strides are taken toward him, and then he offers a hand. ]

As it's meant to be.

[Its been a rough few days, but Kylo Ren is glad to be back on Headquarters and mellowing out to the best of his ability. Thanks to Loki's tip, he had been largely unaffected by the uncomfortable truth that hit everyone. That doesn't mean he's rushing out to see people -- but it does mean that he appears to be no worse off than he'd been when they'd left Drakstaden.

They'd completed the mission, even if the result had been a shitshow. He'd warned everyone, after all -- it was almost nice to be right.

He's spending a lot of his free time in the gym. He's in the middle of putting some weights back when he catches Odinson's eye. He's got the look of someone who has also been having a rough few days. He hesitates and glances down at the weight in his hand.]

...did you want these?

[Awkward. But he's done for the day. He could use a meal, and a drink or ten.]

[Even the gym hasn't helped Odinson work through the deeper revelations of the truth bomb. That hasn't stopped him from working himself hard, occupying himself with mindless exercise in the hopes of achieving brief reprieve.

Catching Kylo Ren's eye is another good distraction. He's an uncertain factor here, one Odinson still isn't sure about. It had been good to learn more about him from Loki- but still...]

No. I am done.

[He goes to turn his back on the man and leave, but pauses.] Have you eaten? Will you join me for a meal?

[Kylo Ren is content to leave their interaction there. After all, he might feel a little bit better about Odinson after their stint in prison, but that wasn’t much of an improvement. Fortunately, Kylo Ren’s pathetic prison beard has been removed — it was one of the first things he’d done when they had reached Headquarters.

He hangs the weights up and turns to leave as well, stopping when the question is posed to him. His instinct is to refuse, especially given the fact that he is still struggling to get a grip on the fact that he has managed to alienate himself from the only familiar thing on the ship.]

I suppose.

[He sounds a little confused when he says it, like he is trying to shove down the idea that this might be a trick of some sort.]

I would know you better, Kylo Ren. [It's not a complete explanation- that would involve revealing he's discussed the man with others, but it's a step in answering the confusion he hears in the man's voice.]

We did not have a pleasant introduction.

[He was never very good at holding back his instinctintual reply. He's gotten better, but he's not that good. So, Kylo Ren makes a face.]

...why?

["We did not have a pleasant introduction" does not seem to be reason enough. He rarely ever had a pleasant introduction. He almost voices that much, but decides that it gives an even worse impression of him.

But within that confusion is genuine curiosity. What did he possibly have to offer Odinson?]

I hunger. I assume you hunger as well. [Being deliberately obtuse is one of Odinson's strongest qualities. Easier to give this answer first and see how much Kylo Ren pushes.]

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Stay on these roads

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Moping.

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herp derp

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wildcard

omg put that icon away

never

rude

it was a gift

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