epidemiology | ( closed )

_{[ You could say he went into this event haphazardly, slicing away at fire sprites and rescuing others. Since he had no long range weapon or powers, the only thing he was left to do was to use his seemingly indestructible bokken. Although it seems to be made out of wood, it merely just looks charred with a few fissures in the body of it— he may need to request another one from ALASTAIR soon.

Gintoki cannot really hear Olivia because.. he's asleep. Sadaharu doesn't seem to be anywhere around, and he's merely resting within the jungle of Pu’ulai near some of the villages with his back against the trunk of a tree.

His arms are resting by his sides, multiple burns seen primarily along his arms, typically shiny silver hair appearing ashy and dirty. There are a few blisters on his face as well. His yukata is held at his hips, as it was easier to fight without the sleeves getting in the way, but parts of it look burned up and torn. He should probably request another one of those too.

He smacks his lips, brows furrowing as he just kind of bats at Olivia's hand. Must be a fly or something. ]}

Edited 2016-04-25 16:45 (UTC)

[ his idle batting does nothing to dissuade olivia's concern; in fact, it only makes her that much more determined to wake him. ]

Gintoki, [ she says, with a bit more force this time. she drops a hand to give his shoulder a shake. when that doesn't really do much, she takes to lightly slapping his cheek, leaning in close to make sure he's breathing properly. ]

Gintoki, wake up!

_{[ The slapping does, in fact, do wonders in stirring him from his sleep, and in almost an instant he jolts, bracing himself as if he is about to attack. His hand even shifts to the hilt of his bokken, but that's about it.

Oh. It's just her.

His posture relaxes against the tree again and he looks more agitated than anything now. ]}

What happened to wakey wakey eggs and bakey.
_{[ I mean, of you're going to wake him up, there better be free food, not this rudeness. ]}

Better yet.. wakey wakey.. parfaits and cakey.
_{[ Gin. ]}

Only people who don't look like death get cake, [ olivia responds, perhaps a bit too coldly for someone who had just been worried sick a few moments ago.

or perhaps it's because of that. here gintoki is, acting like nothing is wrong... how frustrating. ]

Do you hurt anywhere else apart from your burns?

_{[ Does he hurt anywhere else? Sure. His mind hurt where unpleasant memories lie; his heart hurt from breaking over people he cared about, but these were just things he kept to himself and dealt with on a daily basis.

He was able to do that with the strong soul he had, and although it didn't always shine silver, when it did, it could illuminate an entire room.
Physically, though. His legs and feet ached, but the main problem was the burning sensation that pulsated over his skin where blisters were forming, bits of his skin peeled off.

As much as Gintoki preferred to be left alone, he actually liked people fussing over his state of being even if he didn't actually show it.
What a big baby. ]}

—What are you gonna do? Kiss it and make it all better?
_{[ Gin. Stop flirting. It isn't fair for you to do this when you're trying to distance yourself. ]}

What 'bout you? I bet you hurt too.
_{[ don't flip this on her like that. ]}

[ it really isn't fair at all, but fortunately olivia has enough of a one-track mind in this moment not to think much of it. surely, it makes her expression a little tighter, and though her cheeks burn out of reflex, it's clear she's more annoyed than flustered that he would choose a time like this to joke around.

(because surely it's just a joke. it has to be.) ]

I'm faring a lot better than certain men who think they're more shield and weapon than human.

[ she remembers the way you allowed yourself to be stabbed in order to get closer to her while she'd been possessed, gintoki. she has no doubt that that was a singular event.

she turns her attention to his more glaring wounds, along his arms and where parts of his clothing have burned off. as carefully as she can, she tries to tear through them without disturbing his wounds much, just so she can get a better look. all the while, she prays she has enough magic left to heal them... she's not really sure what she'd do if she didn't. ]

Edited 2016-04-29 15:25 (UTC)

_{[ Luckily for Olivia, he wears one yukata sleeve off and a shirt under the yukata. So, up to his right bicep she is able to see. Most of his wounds are towards his wrists and hands, but there are a few places of injury higher up his arm. The other sleeve of the yukata can be brushed off of his body at the shoulder without tearing, but he won't put up a fight if she wants to tear his sleeve instead.

The shirt under his yukata just has a few small holes in it near the chest area, but he seems to have a pretty good burn peeking from where his collarbone is where a large part of flame hit him there.

Anyway, he doesn't like this serious tone to the situation— since the attention is focused on him— and so he tries joking again: ]}

You sure you won't burn me even more?
_{[ you know.. with how hot you are.........
it's a lame joke..... probably why he doesn't finish it. ]}

[ don't pretend the lameness of the joke stops you...

but anyway, yes, let's say instead of tearing she is simply... unbuttoning (??) the top part of his shirt open so she can get a better look at the wound on his chest. probably best to address that first, since it's near some pretty vital stuff. ]

If that's what you're into, Mr. Gintoki, we can discuss it another time.

[ ????/??/?????? guess gintoki isn't the only one feeling comfortable with the other around here...

ANYWAY she'll hover a hand over his exposed chest now, letting her eyes fall shut as she concentrates. ]

_{[ She's unzipping it, if she can figure it out. The burn is there, nestled between two large but aged scars.
This is.. nice. I mean, as much as he is usually favoring being left alone, he really does enjoy positive attention and the fact he won't be burning anymore. It is annoying to feel.

Gintoki watches her, not wanting to disrupt her. He almost reaches up to push some hair behind her ear— something nice and sweet— just to reciprocate the touch.

He doesn't, though. ]}

Nurse, nurse. Do I get a lollipop for good behavior after this?

[ what even are zippers, man. she winds up unzipping it, but only by accident. in that she attempted to tear the shirt open and wound up just forcing it to unzip instead.

but she appreciates his silence, for however long it lasts. these days, it takes a lot more concentration and energy to heal even a basic cut. so for something as extensive as these burns, she's pouring a lot more of herself into this than she would have normally had to.

by the time the skin itself starts to look a little better, she's already got a sheen of sweat on her brow. ]

I'm not sure how enticing fish-flavored lollipop would be...

_{[ Gintoki is on his best behavior— he probably only checked her out once this entire time she's been close to him. His eyes close, a low hum vibrating in his throat as he feels the burn and pain slowly fade away, a soothing, cool feeling flourishing over his injury.

He never understood why people like Olivia wanted to pour all of their effort and energy into him, as he (frustratingly) never gave himself enough credit for the things he did and the people he cared about. Gintoki understands why he does good, but why do others do good? Why did Olivia do such good for him?

Silly man.

His red eyes crack open once its finished, a lopsided smirk teasing on the corner of his lips: ]}

Ah. The second time you've saved my life. You're turning out to be a real doctor, aren't you? Only not the scary kind that want to stick needles up your ass and take your money for it.

_{[ Look how useful you are. He'd be miserable without you. ]}

[ she leans back with a sigh, the hand she'd used to heal gintoki now rising up to wipe the sweat off her brow. her skin feels hot beneath her hand, but she isn't sure if that's from any oncoming fever or the fact they're not too far from where the magma has settled.

the healing was a sloppy job, all things considered. if she was at her usual capacity, she's sure it would have been faster, smoother, and would not have left behind such an ugly scar. as it is, the skin has healed over, but the mark will likely remain — not that his chest is in want of any more scars as it is.

the other burns she will have to tend to after a moment's break; the urge to see to them now is strong, but she recalls sieglinde's voice in the back of her head, warning her against over-exerting herself. indeed, she'd rather not pass out over any stairways again.

so for now she simply sits, and breathes, letting her hands steady her on the ground. her fingers bump against his, and (rather mindfully) they curl in to inch away after a second thought. ]

Your money wouldn't mean much in this world, anyway, [ she responds rather flatly, but the humor is there, even if it's taking some effort out of her to maintain it. he's trying to keep things light, after all. she supposes she can respect that.

she glances around. ]

Where is Sadaharu...?

_{[ Of course he's trying to keep things light— this is a situation involving him, after all. Even though he enjoys attention, he doesn't try to actively seek it like, say, Katsura tries to do.

Gintoki moves, shifting his hand that was bumped to put it right up his nose. Yep. Definitely keeping things light... for now. ]}

Takin' a dump somewhere. I dunno. I don't like looking at that. They're not small, cute, doggy-dumps either. You know, it's a big mess what he does.
_{[ ... Olivia probably doesn't want to think about it.
Gintoki isn't sure, though, where Sadaharu is at or what he is doing— but maybe saying something like this will leave Olivia less worried.

He successfully picks something out of his nose and prompts for flicking it far away from them both before turning his head to look at her. ]}

.. Do you mind?
_{[ wait.. do you mind what.. exactly? He doesn't go further. ]}

[ despite his attempts at levity, there's really no fooling olivia when she's got her attention on you. she can see it in the way everything about his gestures seem forced — like a conscious effort to fall back on old habits, perhaps for the sake of seeking out something familiar.

she frowns, but she decides not to push the matter. she decides to trust that if there were really, really something to worry about here... that maybe they were close enough friends at this point that he'd tell her.

or at the very least not blatantly lie about it. ]

Mind what?

[ she glances towards the distance where he'd flung that booger. ]

Giant doggy poop? [ she knows that's probably not what he means. ] I'd think anyone with a nose would.

Edited 2016-05-05 13:29 (UTC)

_{[ Wow. She really is beginning to think like some people back from his home would.
Gintoki was actually referring to something else. Something else such as: "you don't mind still talking to me even though I rejected you and even though I said getting closer wouldn't be the best idea because I would corrupt you" which might very well would have shifted the conversation on a much heavier scale and even prompt him to sincerely apologize.

For everything.
For being an emotional burden, for being closed up, for being probably a huge problem.

Though, what is said is said, so what does Gintoki do now? He stares at her for a moment, a bit amazed he is having a conversation about Sadaharu's feces with the person who is healing his injuries.

It causes him to smile. Not across the lips, but in his eyes.

He leans back even more against the tree he is sitting under. ]}

Yeah, exactly. I end up having to be the one to take him out, you know. Kagura-chan won't even though he is her's. It's a pain in the ass.

_{[ Gintoki will get to the apology, though. But this moment is too pleasant for him because it reminds him of home. ]}

Edited 2016-05-05 18:59 (UTC)

[ there are a lot of things being unsaid here, but for once olivia is not sure if it is entirely a bad thing. where she would have otherwise insisted on truth or sincerity, in this moment she finds the levity... not quite refreshing — perhaps more necessary.

her body aches from exertion, and her mind is still spinning from the dizzy fear that had overwhelmed her upon seeing his prone body, thinking the worst.

besides... olivia had always been very good at pretending. ]

Isn't it more of a pain for Sadaharu? [ in the ass, that is... ]

He's the one that has to push it all out.

Ah, it's usually kind of mushy. I'm not sure how it'll be since he's here and will be eating.. _{[ man, what will Sadaharu be eating? Usually they just give him dog feed like a normal dog, but.. ]} whatever is easy to come by.

Don't really wanna think about it. Guess I don't have to clean up after him since no loud neighbors are around. _{[ Everybody lives so close together back in Edo. ]}

_{[ He looks over at Olivia, taking in a small note of the bead of sweat on her brow and how tired she looks. She could probably be healing other people who need it; not him. ]}

Take it easy.

[ her gaze flickers back towards him at his last words, the mild surprise evident in the slight widening of her eyes. the sweat remains, but at least her breathing has calmed into something more manageable, not quite so heavy in the steady rise and fall of her chest.

it really is unfair, she thinks. how kind he still is. ]

...I will when you do.

[ she drops her gaze again, giving the burns on his arms a pointed look. another few minutes, she thinks. another few minutes, and then she can heal them, too. ]

Ugh.

_{[ Did you hear that, Olivia? That's the exasperated sound of an exhausted, grown man-child. He scratches his head, ruffling up his silver hair. The irritated noises proceed: ]}
Gyaa, gyaa, gyaa, gyaa.. I guess we've cornered each other, haven't we? Tch. It's really irritating. Has anybody told you how irritating you can be?
_{[ Though, before she can really retort with anything: ]}

It's a lot like me. _{[ We are both caring for others, but in a different way. ]}
Guess we have no other option here. Either we both exert ourselves or we both watch ourselves. Which will it be?
_{[ With that, he extends his pinky to her. Doesn't this seem familiar? Though, his pinky curls tightly, as if he is having a second thought: ]}

That is.. if you think you are willing to make another promise with me. I'm willing to make one with you.
_{[ read: are you strong enough to make another promise to him? Doesn't this mean they're getting even closer? And if so, isn't that a bit dangerous for two people who probably shouldn't get closer to one another?

Choices, Olivia. ]}

Edited 2016-05-07 03:05 (UTC)

[ it is quite exasperating, isn't it, gintoki? to care so much for someone who doesn't seem willing to extend that same kind of care for themselves.

it's with an air of smugness that she glances away when he calls her irritating, the feeling of it just pulling lightly at the corner of her lips. where she normally would have withered at hearing such a thing come from him, now she can only find pride in having evoked such a reaction. now you see, she thinks. now it's fair.

but he pulls her gaze and attention back to him as easily as the moon controls the waves, and before she knows it, she is left staring at a raised pinky, feeling an awful sense of deja vu.

she feels a little like laughing.

when made to choose between her mind and her heart, it wasn't really a choice at all.

she lifts up her own pinky, resolutely locking it with his.

in the end, she will always go with her heart. ]

Do you even have to ask...

[ for better or for worse. ]

_{[ Gintoki's eyes grow fond at how easily she twists her pinky with his, then speaks softly: ]}
If you exert yourself, I'll exert yourself.
If you watch yourself, I'll watch myself.
Don't let anything like me, or yourself, prevent you from touching the heavens.

_{[ He's not going to worry about you worrying about him, and he hopes you feel the same way. You do what you have to do, and he'll do what he has to do.

His hand drops and he rolls his palms upward, revealing the burns on his arms again. ]}

Doctor, I'll be ready for this whenever you are.
_{[ okay so he's a little bit demanding. ]}

[ and what if, asks her heart, what if that thing preventing me if the very heavens itself.

silly girl, her mind rebuts, you have no business dancing in the skies anyway. ]

I didn't realize I was promoted, [ she says around a swallowed sigh. light, airy. back to before.

quietly, she passes a hand over the wounds, turning her attention to the present once more.

you do what you have to do. he'll do what he has to do. ]

'Course you got promoted. You did such a great job.
_{[ Gintoki, that's not how you become a doctor. YOU DON'T GET PROMOTED.. well, whatever.
As she heals up the burns on his arms, he allows her to do so in silence. Gintoki isn't sure what goes into healing somebody's injuries, but he's certain that him talking isn't going to really help.

His skin cools, slowly, gradually— the injury fading, but not quite disappearing. When he feels like it's fine for him to speak, he does, though his voice is hushed. ]}

—Sorry.

_{[ You should know what he's apologizing for. Even now, this entire scenario is making his stomach twist. He doesn't like communication, his mind often distant when it comes to his own feelings and emotions.. probably because they are too busy being tuned in with everyone else.
He didn't have an upbringing where he could invest in much intimacy with people until the war where he made a close-knit of friends.

He was quite the mess when it came to actually talking about how he felt about things, so he hopes just a simple sorry is fine, sorry Olivia. ]}

[ for better or for worse, she perfectly understands what he means this time. maybe it's the way he says it now, or the way he'd grown still and silent (quite unlike him) right before it. maybe it's her own hopeful heart, projecting and wishing. maybe it's just been a long time coming.

her hands still over him, as does her breath. she doesn't look back up at him, because she knows she can't, that if she does she'll lose any resolve she's slowly trying to gather up.

it isn't fair, she thinks. that he should make it so hard for her to let go.

but it isn't any fairer, she knows, to hold him back with her weight. ]

...Me too.

[ for not listening to him. for holding on when she shouldn't have. for thinking things could change and making him feel guilty when they don't.

for everything they could have had and could have been.

for ruining a friendship with all her silly what ifs.

she doesn't cry, but only because she knows it would make him uncomfortable if she did.

instead, she gives his healed arms a gentle pat, and musters up what strength she has left in her smile. ]

There you are. All better.

_{[ It's an odd feeling process. Gintoki has never had something like this happen to him before. Usually he took the pain with him and recovered on his own— it took people to sometimes guard him to make sure he wasn't going to get out and get himself hurt again. A perfect example of that is when Kagura and Shinpachi were trying to finish a job for him, hunting for an assassin and a deadly blade. They knew he would try to protect them when he was in no condition to, and so Shinpachi's sister had to sit by his side.

He doesn't know what to do when something like this happens. Do you still rest? Is your injury okay to touch now? Do you say thank you? He doesn't know.
Though, he guesses that thank you would be the right thing to do. It's so hard to not cross the stupid boundary he set up between them— so very hard. Gintoki cares so much, but doesn't like people to know that. After all they've been through, though, he should.

—cross that boundary.
Will it hurt in the end?

Gintoki makes some sound of discontentment, obviously torn about the thoughts flowing in his mind. It's brief, though. Olivia may only see it if she pays close attention to him. Despite this, though, his rough hands slide around her as he pulls her into an embrace, one palm lifting to cup the back of her head.

Was it too much? Should he stop overthinking all of this? Why was it so important to keep distant? Did it have to be that way?
It didn't, but if it didn't, that could risk her getting hurt, which would break his promise.

What a mess.
They should really open up and talk about this, but.. how? Did he have to? Ugh.

Even so, his firm hold tightens. Gintoki could hug and hold, but it was very seldom that he expressed it. ]}

It's your turn to take it easy, now.
_{[ He's been sitting here, relaxing, while you exert yourself. Take it easy— it's okay to take it easy in his arms if you'll allow it. ]}

[ she doesn't fight the pull, even though she knows she should. all too easily, her body leans in, folds against his newly-healed chest and lays there, pliant and unmoving.

it's a little funny; she hadn't been the one near the fire, yet it still feels like she got burned.

back and forth, back and forth. push and pull, push and pull. no and yes, yes and no, and maybe.

she stifles a sigh against his chest, eyes drawn shut, and yet it wasn't the strain of the magic that's suddenly got her very, very tired. ]

...Good night, Mr. Fruit.

[ will it hurt in the end?

silly boy — it already does. ]

_{[ Well. Healing must take a toll on a person in order to make Olivia collapse like that. He stays where he is, a little embarrassed to be in such a situation, but he's too lazy to move himself.

So he stays beneath her.

Though, it begins to rain, so all that Gintoki can do is to scoop Olivia up in his arms and find some kind of refuge. The best he can do is to go back towards the inn on Komo and give his bed up to Olivia so she can rest well. It's a bit dark, and so, after he places Olivia on top of his bed (which was too small for people of average size— these short deer people) he attempts to light a candle. Gintoki wasn't planning on staying very long, but he would hate to just leave Olivia in an unfamiliar place in the dark.

If the cursing under Gintoki's breath as he tries to light a fire doesn't wake her, maybe when he decides to yell fuck when he breaks one of the sticks he was using will.

Matches? Who needs matches? That's what the fire gifters were for. Unfortunately, they were out of commission right now. ]}

[ it is indeed the swearing that rouses her. for a brief, wild second, olivia imagines she'd woken up back home, amidst the shepherds, with vaike or gaius uttering swear words beneath his breath, frustrated over a weapon that won't function properly, or a candy that won't unwrap.

it's a strange feeling, to be so overcome with a memory from her home; it's been weeks since she's felt such a pang of nostalgia, and for a few moments she can only lay immobile at the wake of it.

eventually, finally, she is brought back down, and eventually, finally, she sees gintoki there, his back hunched and turned towards her. slowly, she rises from the bed, one hand coming up to press against a warm brow. how long had she been out...? ]

_{[ It hadn't been too long, but he didn't want either of them to be out in the rainy weather and catch an illness or anything like that. By the time she has stood up, he has gotten the candlelit and he turns to take his leave, only to freeze upon seeing her.

Ah..
He's surprised for a moment, but then his eyes fall halfway open. ]}

Ah? Going to save some other damsels in distress like you did me?

[ she stays on her feet for four whole seconds — during which she'd done nothing but look at him; thanks to the darkness of the evening and the faint golden glow of the candlelight, most of her expression remains unreadable.

but eventually she sinks back down unto the edge of the bed, her hands finding root along the edge to grip. she looks away again, at her knees, knocking together awkwardly. ]

...no. [ she probably should, says the little, guilty voice in the back of her mind. but there are other voices back there too, one youthful and pleading, the other older and curt. ]

I promised someone I wouldn't push myself so hard. [ her knuckles turn white from her grip; it's clearly taking a lot out of her to just stay still. ]

_{[ Good. Good.
But you know what, he approaches her and also sits on the edge of the very tiny, little deer-sized bed.
Shouldn't he be out saving people like he usually does? Granted, things had simmered down, but Gintoki is certain he could probably find something to do.

He's not going to if Olivia is going to relax.
Isn't that kinda what they said?

Though, this is putting him in an uncomfortable position— right here— in a private and quiet setting with Olivia.
There's really a lot he should say, but he didn't grow up around girls; he doesn't know how to treat them, sometimes.

So he opts for silence, merely watching the candle flicker. ]}

Edited 2016-05-19 14:16 (UTC)

[ olivia, in turn, keeps her eyes downcast, intimately aware of the heat coming from both the candle and his body. several inches separate them on this tiny bed, and though it would only take minimum effort to reach out to touch him, it feels like a vast expanse now as the silence drags on.

she knows he's struggling for something to say, knows he probably thinks he owes her that much.

but, really — what else is there left? he apologized. so did she. he knows where she stands and where she wants to go, but so, too, does she know where he stands, and where he feels he must stay. they are, in every sense of the word, at a standstill.

and neither of them have been very good at keeping still, have they? ]

...you've been a very good friend to me, Gintoki.

[ she's tired of hurting. but she's also tired of hurting him.

she turns to him then, knees bumping faintly, brave smile plastered on, and a hand held out in offering.

starting over. ]

Please let me be a good friend to you, too.

[ it's time, she thinks. time to stop wishing for what they could be, and start relishing in what they are.

good people. good friends. striving to do the best for each other in the only ways they know how. ]

_{[ Gintoki has been an awful friend to her, of course, with his self destructive personality. That is the way he sees it. He is afraid that if there isn't any definite closure that this strange hurt they are feeling will just continue on and on and on.

He can only stare at her hand, not willing to shake it just yet. She should know by now, by the times he had shared small spurts of intimacy with her that he likes her, but in doing so, it's hurting her. ]}

Olivia.
You know I'll be your friend.
But I'm not right for you.

_{[ He means romantically and hopefully she understands that part without him actually saying it. ]}

You need and deserve somebody who loves themselves first.
_{[ now who is the person with the low esteem?
He's fraying away their first promise and feels terrible for it. ]}

[ her hand hangs cold and empty between them, but she cannot yet find the strength to pull it back.

a moment of silence to process his words, and then another moment to close her eyes and sigh around it.

she doesn't know how many times she's heard him say such words, or something to their effect, but she hopes to whatever diety is listening that this may be the last. ]

...I know that.

[ she knows it in the way she knows each step of each dance she's ever seen. she knows it in her heart and in her soul and in the way the candlelight curves over every contour of his face now, on that expression she knows to mean he has so much to say, but never quite knows how to say it.

he's a man of action. as a dancer, she can appreciate that. that's why she appreciates so much that he's gracing her with words now.

she opens her eyes again and meets his; they remain dry, but shimmering with renewed intensity. ]

Just like I know you could, one day. [ love himself. forgive himself. allow himself the happiness he could have, if he could only ever believe he deserved it.

she thinks, with time, he could.

she thinks, with time, he could be right for her. just like she wants to be right for him. ]

If or when you ever want to.

[ she isn't saying she'll wait, just like he isn't asking her to. there is no pressure here, no guilt to be had, no obligation to pursue. it is merely a statement of facts, of what she believes in her heart to be true.

it is merely another promise, to add to their long list of promises, to be here. that though it hurts to be so close to him, yet not be close to him, olivia also knows that she would not be half of what she is now if it hadn't been for him lifting her up every step of the way here.

isn't it about time she did some lifting of her own?

he hasn't taken her hand, but that's okay. she sets it now on top of one of his own, squeezing gently. ]

Don't let anything like me, or yourself, prevent you from touching the heavens.

_{[ She and anyone else can say and believe that he'll accept happiness until the cows come home, but in the end, it's his choice to go through the healing process.
Sometimes, he thought it was his fault for their loss. It was his blade that swiped his neck, after all. There was really nothing else to do, though. It was either do that and keep his promise or allow his friends to die.

It still hurt.

Though, a little smile plays on his lips at her words and he turns to face her. His eyes, though, look rather sad instead of empty. They were full of words that he couldn't speak and a history he didn't want others to know of.

If things were different in his life, maybe he wouldn't be broken.
Olivia only deserves the best— somebody who isn't so damaged.

His hand, at least, turns upward to grip hers in reciprocation. ]}

—You'll go high.
_{[ without him in the way.
With that, he releases her hand and rises from his seat, putting his back to her. ]}

—So will you, [ come her words, perhaps useless and ineffectual when thrown at his back like this.

but she still wanted to say it, because she believes he needs to hear it. of course he'd go and make this all about her, even after all her efforts to finally turn the attention on him. ]

Whether you choose to do it alone, or with someone, or with a group of people — I know one day you will too.

[ when he's ready. when he lets himself.

in any case... she's taken up enough of his time. ]

You should stay. This is your room, isn't it? I'll go.

Edited (...bc i realized i wasn't sure if we were ending this yet or not lkasdjalks) 2016-05-23 11:41 (UTC)

_{[ He's gone high, already, and has achieved great accomplishments through the years. Olivia doesn't know his role back home— a protector of Edo, but neither the government or the police force. Just a man who needs something to protect. It isn't a big deal for him like it may be for some people. It's just something he feels like he has to do more so than what he wants to do.

In the moments he was able to "go high," it was never because of just him. It was because of them.
His "family."

Maybe he just felt like it wasn't high enough.

He makes a mumbled noise, rubbing the back of his head before sitting back down on the bed. Sure. She can go. He needs a nap anyway.
Softly, he speaks, though a tone of his voice sounds sad: ]}

—Thanks.
For believing in me.

[ she would not be surprised to hear that he has already ascended to that height. less so to know that he had done so with the help of others. for how else does one climb to that level without the solid mountain beneath your feet, or the strong wind beneath your wings?

it simply her hope that he will come to acknowledge and accept that in his heart — that he needn't be quite as alone as he thinks he should be.

no, she knows he has achieved much. especially because he hasn't spoken about it. it's just the kind of person he is, really — he reveals so much more the less he actually speaks. ]

Isn't that my line?

[ she does not laugh, but the levity is there in her tone. coming forward, she leans down to press a soft, fleeting kiss along the apple of his cheek. a touch of her hand lingers against the other, even when she straightens up again, but eventually that too is drawn away. ]

Good night, Mr. Fruit. Sweet dreams.

_{[ Gintoki breath catches in his throat when she says that. Ugh. This was so disgusting— opening up like this, talking things through. To top it all off, she's being affectionate again.

That's it. It's fine.
Gintoki cares for people quickly, so it's not a surprise he cares so much for her.

He doesn't scoff, or huff, or make a usual response when people give him affection. In fact, he relishes in it, cause he isn't sure if anything like this is going to happen again.

He says nothing, watching her wordlessly until she leaves the room and he kicks back, stretching as much as he can against the bed. Gazing at the ceiling, he mutters: ]}

Yeah.
I believe in you.
I always will, idiot.

( closed )

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gently matches icons because i'm trash

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a few hours later....

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