( closed )

[winces]

CHARACTERS: olivia (winces) & sakata gintoki (naturallywavy)
DATE: some time after the demolition?
WARNINGS: burn injuries? gintoki's mind/mouth?
SUMMARY: someone's in need of some healing

[ not long after things turned south for them (again), olivia has taken to wandering the supposed "scene of the crime." she hadn't been very involved in the fighting, this time around, and for good reason, really, given how drastic things had turned... and so she thought to make up for that by seeking avenues she could help, as much as she could with what minimal abilities she had left.

it's saffron, though, that finds him. the lion cub's head had turned up, nose sniffing at the air as something familiar catches his attention. olivia only had time to glance at him curiously before the lion cub was off, dashing through the rocks and rubble. she calls out after him, careful not to trip or fall over the molten rocks as she struggles to follow after and keep up.

by the time she happens upon them both — gintoki, his body prone and covered in burns, and saffron, sniffing curiously at his toes in an obvious attempt to gauge whether or not this burnt human was food or not — she has only enough breath left to gasp sharply, one hand flying up to cover her gaping mouth. ]

S-Saffron! Shoo!

[ she waves the cub away, who obeys rather reluctantly, and quickly comes up to gintoki's side, one hand carefully pushing back some white curls form his forehead. ]

Mr. Gintoki...? Gintoki, are you okay? Can you hear me?

Comments

a few hours later....

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ Well. Healing must take a toll on a person in order to make Olivia collapse like that. He stays where he is, a little embarrassed to be in such a situation, but he's too lazy to move himself.

So he stays beneath her.

Though, it begins to rain, so all that Gintoki can do is to scoop Olivia up in his arms and find some kind of refuge. The best he can do is to go back towards the inn on Komo and give his bed up to Olivia so she can rest well. It's a bit dark, and so, after he places Olivia on top of his bed (which was too small for people of average size— these short deer people) he attempts to light a candle. Gintoki wasn't planning on staying very long, but he would hate to just leave Olivia in an unfamiliar place in the dark.

If the cursing under Gintoki's breath as he tries to light a fire doesn't wake her, maybe when he decides to yell fuck when he breaks one of the sticks he was using will.

Matches? Who needs matches? That's what the fire gifters were for. Unfortunately, they were out of commission right now. ]</sub>

[winces]

[ it is indeed the swearing that rouses her. for a brief, wild second, olivia imagines she'd woken up back home, amidst the shepherds, with vaike or gaius uttering swear words beneath his breath, frustrated over a weapon that won't function properly, or a candy that won't unwrap.

it's a strange feeling, to be so overcome with a memory from her home; it's been weeks since she's felt such a pang of nostalgia, and for a few moments she can only lay immobile at the wake of it.

eventually, finally, she is brought back down, and eventually, finally, she sees gintoki there, his back hunched and turned towards her. slowly, she rises from the bed, one hand coming up to press against a warm brow. how long had she been out...? ]

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ It hadn't been too long, but he didn't want either of them to be out in the rainy weather and catch an illness or anything like that. By the time she has stood up, he has gotten the candlelit and he turns to take his leave, only to freeze upon seeing her.

Ah..
He's surprised for a moment, but then his eyes fall halfway open. ]</sub>

Ah? Going to save some other damsels in distress like you did me?

[winces]

[ she stays on her feet for four whole seconds — during which she'd done nothing but look at him; thanks to the darkness of the evening and the faint golden glow of the candlelight, most of her expression remains unreadable.

but eventually she sinks back down unto the edge of the bed, her hands finding root along the edge to grip. she looks away again, at her knees, knocking together awkwardly. ]

...no. [ she probably should, says the little, guilty voice in the back of her mind. but there are other voices back there too, one youthful and pleading, the other older and curt. ]

I promised someone I wouldn't push myself so hard. [ her knuckles turn white from her grip; it's clearly taking a lot out of her to just stay still. ]

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ Good. Good.
But you know what, he approaches her and also sits on the edge of the very tiny, little deer-sized bed.
Shouldn't he be out saving people like he usually does? Granted, things had simmered down, but Gintoki is certain he could probably find something to do.

He's not going to if Olivia is going to relax.
Isn't that kinda what they said?

Though, this is putting him in an uncomfortable position— right here— in a private and quiet setting with Olivia.
There's really a lot he should say, but he didn't grow up around girls; he doesn't know how to treat them, sometimes.

So he opts for silence, merely watching the candle flicker. ]</sub>

[winces]

[ olivia, in turn, keeps her eyes downcast, intimately aware of the heat coming from both the candle and his body. several inches separate them on this tiny bed, and though it would only take minimum effort to reach out to touch him, it feels like a vast expanse now as the silence drags on.

she knows he's struggling for something to say, knows he probably thinks he owes her that much.

but, really — what else is there left? he apologized. so did she. he knows where she stands and where she wants to go, but so, too, does she know where he stands, and where he feels he must stay. they are, in every sense of the word, at a standstill.

and neither of them have been very good at keeping still, have they? ]

...you've been a very good friend to me, Gintoki.

[ she's tired of hurting. but she's also tired of hurting him.

she turns to him then, knees bumping faintly, brave smile plastered on, and a hand held out in offering.

starting over. ]

Please let me be a good friend to you, too.

[ it's time, she thinks. time to stop wishing for what they could be, and start relishing in what they are.

good people. good friends. striving to do the best for each other in the only ways they know how. ]

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ Gintoki has been an awful friend to her, of course, with his self destructive personality. That is the way he sees it. He is afraid that if there isn't any definite closure that this strange hurt they are feeling will just continue on and on and on.

He can only stare at her hand, not willing to shake it just yet. She should know by now, by the times he had shared small spurts of intimacy with her that he likes her, but in doing so, it's hurting her. ]</sub>

Olivia.
You know I'll be your friend.
But I'm not right for you.

_{[ He means romantically and hopefully she understands that part without him actually saying it. ]}

You need and deserve somebody who loves themselves first.
_{[ now who is the person with the low esteem?
He's fraying away their first promise and feels terrible for it. ]}

[winces]

[ her hand hangs cold and empty between them, but she cannot yet find the strength to pull it back.

a moment of silence to process his words, and then another moment to close her eyes and sigh around it.

she doesn't know how many times she's heard him say such words, or something to their effect, but she hopes to whatever diety is listening that this may be the last. ]

...I know that.

[ she knows it in the way she knows each step of each dance she's ever seen. she knows it in her heart and in her soul and in the way the candlelight curves over every contour of his face now, on that expression she knows to mean he has so much to say, but never quite knows how to say it.

he's a man of action. as a dancer, she can appreciate that. that's why she appreciates so much that he's gracing her with words now.

she opens her eyes again and meets his; they remain dry, but shimmering with renewed intensity. ]

Just like I know you could, one day. [ love himself. forgive himself. allow himself the happiness he could have, if he could only ever believe he deserved it.

she thinks, with time, he could.

she thinks, with time, he could be right for her. just like she wants to be right for him. ]

If or when you ever want to.

[ she isn't saying she'll wait, just like he isn't asking her to. there is no pressure here, no guilt to be had, no obligation to pursue. it is merely a statement of facts, of what she believes in her heart to be true.

it is merely another promise, to add to their long list of promises, to be here. that though it hurts to be so close to him, yet not be close to him, olivia also knows that she would not be half of what she is now if it hadn't been for him lifting her up every step of the way here.

isn't it about time she did some lifting of her own?

he hasn't taken her hand, but that's okay. she sets it now on top of one of his own, squeezing gently. ]

Don't let anything like me, or yourself, prevent you from touching the heavens.

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ She and anyone else can say and believe that he'll accept happiness until the cows come home, but in the end, it's his choice to go through the healing process.
Sometimes, he thought it was his fault for their loss. It was his blade that swiped his neck, after all. There was really nothing else to do, though. It was either do that and keep his promise or allow his friends to die.

It still hurt.

Though, a little smile plays on his lips at her words and he turns to face her. His eyes, though, look rather sad instead of empty. They were full of words that he couldn't speak and a history he didn't want others to know of.

If things were different in his life, maybe he wouldn't be broken.
Olivia only deserves the best— somebody who isn't so damaged.

His hand, at least, turns upward to grip hers in reciprocation. ]</sub>

—You'll go high.
_{[ without him in the way.
With that, he releases her hand and rises from his seat, putting his back to her. ]}

[winces]

—So will you, [ come her words, perhaps useless and ineffectual when thrown at his back like this.

but she still wanted to say it, because she believes he needs to hear it. of course he'd go and make this all about her, even after all her efforts to finally turn the attention on him. ]

Whether you choose to do it alone, or with someone, or with a group of people — I know one day you will too.

[ when he's ready. when he lets himself.

in any case... she's taken up enough of his time. ]

You should stay. This is your room, isn't it? I'll go.

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ He's gone high, already, and has achieved great accomplishments through the years. Olivia doesn't know his role back home— a protector of Edo, but neither the government or the police force. Just a man who needs something to protect. It isn't a big deal for him like it may be for some people. It's just something he feels like he has to do more so than what he wants to do.

In the moments he was able to "go high," it was never because of just him. It was because of them.
His "family."

Maybe he just felt like it wasn't high enough.

He makes a mumbled noise, rubbing the back of his head before sitting back down on the bed. Sure. She can go. He needs a nap anyway.
Softly, he speaks, though a tone of his voice sounds sad: ]</sub>

—Thanks.
For believing in me.

[winces]

[ she would not be surprised to hear that he has already ascended to that height. less so to know that he had done so with the help of others. for how else does one climb to that level without the solid mountain beneath your feet, or the strong wind beneath your wings?

it simply her hope that he will come to acknowledge and accept that in his heart — that he needn't be quite as alone as he thinks he should be.

no, she knows he has achieved much. especially because he hasn't spoken about it. it's just the kind of person he is, really — he reveals so much more the less he actually speaks. ]

Isn't that my line?

[ she does not laugh, but the levity is there in her tone. coming forward, she leans down to press a soft, fleeting kiss along the apple of his cheek. a touch of her hand lingers against the other, even when she straightens up again, but eventually that too is drawn away. ]

Good night, Mr. Fruit. Sweet dreams.

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ Gintoki breath catches in his throat when she says that. Ugh. This was so disgusting— opening up like this, talking things through. To top it all off, she's being affectionate again.

That's it. It's fine.
Gintoki cares for people quickly, so it's not a surprise he cares so much for her.

He doesn't scoff, or huff, or make a usual response when people give him affection. In fact, he relishes in it, cause he isn't sure if anything like this is going to happen again.

He says nothing, watching her wordlessly until she leaves the room and he kicks back, stretching as much as he can against the bed. Gazing at the ceiling, he mutters: ]</sub>

Yeah.
I believe in you.
I always will, idiot.