(open-ish) the damage is already done

[1300yen]

CHARACTERS: Everyone who stayed behind on Nalawi
DATE: 06/12... technically..... but covering the three months the recruits stayed behind
WARNINGS: None, probably. Will edit if something comes up!
SUMMARY: A catch-all log for the characters who stayed behind on Nalawi!

Just what it says! For the characters who stayed behind, feel free to make top levels or prompts of what they're doing to further help out the locals.

Comments

[ex_adept136]

[It gave her pause, and that was something. Haise knew he couldn't presume to dictate to her what the right way to approach creating a new life was, no matter how strongly he felt about it. But being a product of love would, he could imagine, mean something to that child one day.

In fact, he hoped that his own parents felt strongly for each other, but he hadn't a way of knowing. As much as the phantom of his past self haunted him, he was always left with more questions than answers.

But maybe with time to evaluate, Sieglinde might reconsider her stance, at least somewhat. Then one day, hopefully a good number of years hence, her child wouldn't have to wonder]

I'd imagine it would, at the least... Although I have no experience in that area, I do think there are a lot of considerations to be made. So thinking it over, and having the time, doesn't strike me as a bad idea.

[grunehexe]

[Did such things matter to children? Sieglinde had little experience in what "normal" children wished for. She thought perhaps when she'd been younger she'd daydreamed about what her father might have been like. What her mother would have been like if she hadn't died in childbirth. If she would have been proud of her.

Silly things like that. If you kept a child occupied, wouldn't they not care about such things? She'd mostly stopped.]

I am not planning on conceiving my heir now. I cannot yet anyway- but these things need planning in general, I am sure you understand.

[Because menstruation was totally a thing you could discuss with other people, why not? She was just... planning in advance.]

[ex_adept136]

Ah, I wouldn't have assumed you meant now...

[Actually the thought was more than a little alarming. Sieglinde was surely young, with quite a bit of her life ahead of her. Having a child was a responsibility unlike any other, Haise could well imagine. He'd been saddled with a handful jokingly called his own, though he was only a scant few years older than his squad.

Being responsible for helping others to mature and grow gave him some small idea of what it could be like, though he was sure it was far more complicated with infants and small children than those in their late teens]

But if you would...please consider who they are as well, even if you ultimately deem it unimportant.

[grunehexe]

You seem quite fixated on this topic...

[Says the girl who was quite serious about this topic. Fixing him with a sort of up and down look, Sieglinde finally nodded in appraisal.]

Are you trying to... throw your hat in the ring, so to speak?

[ex_adept136]

[Fortunately Haise was literate enough to have come across that phrase before, but even so, he couldn't imagine Sieglinde was suggesting what it sounded like...]

...Pardon?

[Surely he'd misunderstood]

[grunehexe]

[Ah... did he not understand that phrase?]

Are you attempting to woo me with... kindness?

[ex_adept136]

[And there the mental gears came to a grinding halt, and Haise could do nothing but stare for a good long moment. After this brief struggle with how to respond, he let out a small, airy laugh]

You really shouldn't tease me so.

[Clearly when in doubt, take it as humor]

Surely anyone would be kind to you - I haven't known you to be any less to others.

[grunehexe]

Are you not the one teasing?

[WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?]

Why ask so if you are not interested?

[ex_adept136]

[HE'S NOT EVEN SURE ANYMORE]

Not that I wouldn't be flattered- [And concerned] but wouldn't I be a little old for you?

[Surely...surely logic wins the day...]

I asked because I care about you.

[grunehexe]

[She hadn't... thought to ask that. Sieglinde pursed her lips, looking him over critically.]

- How old are you?

[Obviously the more important issue, here.]

[ex_adept136]

I'm twenty-three as of April.

[Or...that's the birthday he was given. It wasn't a real one, and he knew that, but the CCG had information on Ken Kaneki, he was sure they did - and so, they probably had what year he was born right.

And twenty-three was surely far too old for Sieglinde. Would remain too old by the time she was old enough to concern herself with the matter of actually having children.

Hopefully with someone who loved and appreciated her]

[grunehexe]

That is only ten years older than me, you know.

[Sieglinde wasn't quite sure why a ten year age gap would be the dealbreaker of all things that could possibly disqualify a person, but.

That was the results of an upbringing that modeled itself after 15th century morals.]

[ex_adept136]

...Only.

[He repeated the word, unable to fend off his own incredulity. Not scoffing by any means, but certainly wonderment.

They all came from very different worlds, but-]

Wouldn't you prefer someone your own age?

[grunehexe]

And what experiences and wealth will they bring to this match?

[As much as she considered herself an adult, despite her age...

She was at least possessed of enough awareness to know that most people her age weren't at quite the same... level.]

[ex_adept136]

Wouldn't that remain to be seen, when you were both older and so more established?

[Most thirteen-year-olds hadn't yet had the opportunity to fully form into the people they'd someday be. Haise had no recollection, but he was sure that he'd had to have grown a great deal by the time he was Sieglinde's age.

Though with his memory issues in mind...it was hard to say whether that progression was a part of his present self]

They could be a great many things, by that time, whoever they are.

[grunehexe]

And add even more time to this whole thing waiting to find out what they might be like after a bit of maturing?

[She certainly didn't see the wisdom in doing that when you could just take your pick of those who'd already done their growing up.]

[ex_adept136]

You'd have that time regardless, wouldn't you?

[Sieglinde had granted that she had the time to pick and choose.

Surely it naturally followed that she also had time to choose other prospects that might arise]

[grunehexe]

But I can minimize the time it takes if I have prospects picked out by the time I flower.

[Considering the fact that she'd have to factor in the time it took to actually conceive, account for potential miscarriages, the nine months of pregnancy...

It added up.]

[ex_adept136]

It might be worth your while though. What if you passed up something better than you can imagine?

[That was of course an abstract appeal...

But it was better than trying to explain how he was not making passes at his associate. His associate ten years his junior, who happened to be thirteen]

[grunehexe]

[For a moment, Sieglinde didn't actually say anything, just staring up at Haise with an arched brow, blinking somewhat slowly...

Before she sort of realized they weren't going to see eye to eye on this one. Perhaps that was fine- people without the burdens of heir production probably never had to consider it...

Maybe that was for the best.]

... Perhaps it is best you concentrate on locating your own lover, for now.

[Who was there who would match up with this fellow... Olivia?]

There are many lovely ladies in ALASTAIR's employ near your age, if that is what you value.

[ex_adept136]

[And deflected. He could only hope that she might consider what he'd said, with time and age. For now, perhaps it was for the best that he not belabor the point. He'd told her his thoughts and all he could do was quietly encourage her to seek her own happiness.

Hopefully, someday...she'd do that. Heirs and genetics might be important to her, but surely there was more than simply that.

Of course, the change of subject was enough to make him sit up a little straighter, clearing his throat with a given awkwardness]

That's ah... I think I'm better off focusing on other pursuits.

[It wouldn't be appropriate with an associate, not to mention...]

Besides, one day we'll have to return home. It seems selfish, the idea of doing that to someone.

[Forming a relationship that could never last, for more reason than the one he felt able to voice]

[grunehexe]

... If we ever return home, you mean.

[Corrected, with a slightly reluctant tone, gaze settled somewhere vaguely in the tidepool water. It wasn't something she ever put into words, but there was another reason Sieglinde was so concerned with the matter of her heir.

If she never managed to make it back to her world... perhaps at least a child of hers might one day be able to, to take back the cure she hoped to find.]

It is not a guarantee.

[ex_adept136]

Maybe not, but...I've been given reason to think it's quite possible.

[Haise didn't doubt that Sorey had been honest in his account. And were that the case, it could be as though they have never left to begin with. He hoped they remembered, at least. That they kept the things that mattered.

But as someone whose hold on so many things was tenuous at best, he wasn't certain of that]

Gambling with someone else's feelings wouldn't be fair. Besides, I- [He cut himself off abruptly, biting his lip] ...there are some things others need not deal with.

[grunehexe]

[There was a moment when Sieglinde almost asked. Anyone would be curious- "some things others need not deal with" was a rather vague and mysterious sounding statement, after all.

Implying something not good.

... But it wasn't her intent to make him feel bad, or dredge up things he would rather not talk about. Instead, she turned to her list in the sand and erased it with an easy flick of her wrist.

They could talk about something else. They had three months, after all.]