Sans (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
skelepun) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
epidemiology2017-03-23 10:27 am
skelepun) wrote in epidemiology2017-03-23 10:27 am
we bought a zoo (semi-open? ish? i think?)
CHARACTERS: Sans, Papyrus, Mettaton, Undyne, + whoever they bring into their den of monstrous iniquity.
DATE: March 13th-March 23rd
WARNINGS: Fun kidnapping and Mettaton's here so who knows honestly
SUMMARY: Sans and Mettaton stole a kid, so now they have one of those. Don't worry, it's chill.
General prompt log for Monsterhaus shenanigans. Feel free to jump on any of them and thread it out w/anybody!
march 13th; yeah this is still happening.
DATE: March 13th-March 23rd
WARNINGS: Fun kidnapping and Mettaton's here so who knows honestly
SUMMARY: Sans and Mettaton stole a kid, so now they have one of those. Don't worry, it's chill.
General prompt log for Monsterhaus shenanigans. Feel free to jump on any of them and thread it out w/anybody!
march 13th; yeah this is still happening.
Since Sans formally settled in to their temporary apartment, the tide of mess was inevitable. It started with socks, graduating slowly to bowls of half finished cereal, advancing to a literally nest of sheets and blankets swathing over the entire couch.march 18th; run childcare.exe.
To say nothing of the seven year old child inside those sheets and blankets, watching a grainy VHS version of The Little Mollusk for what must've been the twentieth time in two days. Who is she? Where'd she come from? If Sans and Mettaton aren't around to explain, don't worry. Sans left a post-it note, helpfully attached to the side of the little girl's head.
don't worry about it.
She doesn't seem to mind.
What do a group of adult monsters know best? Entertaining human children, that's what.march wheneverth; wildcard.
Suffice to say, the boredom-induced damage on their apartment was mounting steadily by the day. A grape juice stain from several days prior is all but encrusted into the couch (apparently it looked enough like Undyne for Sans to sharpie and eye patch over it), fruit rollup wrappers are everywhere, and the girl herself is starting to smell.
Whether the strategy is amusing her, teaching her, feeding her properly, or simply hosing her off in the courtyard, someone's going to have to step up to make sure this kid doesn't die of boredom and an overdose of high-fructose corn syrup.
(( Whatever you wanna do! Cooking lessons? Simply hanging out in the house, no kid whatsoever? Consider it a catchall, friends. And lemme know if you want me to write you a custom Sans starter.))
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[He pushes up his glasses with a scowl, though instantly, that scowl turns upside down when he addresses the girl.]
Not a detective, either, sweetheart. I'm a journalist. [And then back to grumpy with Mettaton.] You didn't enable this whole thing, did you?
i thought of your MOM
[What the hell is this? What is that- What is that thing Keats is doing with his mouth?? Is that a...? No. That can't be.
Is that a smile? That isn't completely out of spite or due to a drunken stupor? What is...
There's a tug on his wrist. It's Charlie, staring up at him with her big eyes.]
"What are you looking at, Uncle Tonton?"
A miracle. It's fine. [Ahem.]
No. I didn't. I told Sans--
[Charlie's bouncing towards Keats, excitedly grabbing at his coat and pointing at Mettaton.]
"He's a robot!!"
[...SIGH.]
WOW
[He glances back at Mettaton, his voice normal:] Well, someone is going to have quite the story when they're reunited with their parents.
don't just text me "mom" upside-down, you monster
"He does! He makes a smoke-cloud and then POOF!! He's a big, scary robot on one wheel and big, metal hands!!! But I'm a better singer than him, so I defeated him and now I get to keep his room!" [Her eyes somehow light up even more before she runs back to the couch, digging back through her pile of sheets and pulls out...
Oh. Oh no.
Mettaton already has his face in his hands when Charlie waves the ice sculpture of him at Keats.]
"He looks like this!! See??"
the cyber harrassment will continue until morale improves
[Now he's just staring straight at Mettaton with a look that really, clearly says "WE WILL DEFINITELY DISCUSS THIS LATER, YOU IMBECILE".]
[He's about to continue talking, though when Charlie brings out the ice sculpture, the one that he came here to get, he's speechless for a moment.]
That's a funny-looking thing. [Ha ha ha...] By the way...Charlie, was it? I do believe that doesn't belong to you. It was a gift for someone.
!!
Whether he means that as "don't argue with me while Papyrus is here" or "blame a skeleton," the intention behind the motion never becomes clear. Charlie has made it her duty to be the biggest distraction in the room right now.
She gapes up at Keats, clutching the statue to her chest.]
"I found it in his room! He said it was my room, so it's mine! Right, Uncle Tonton? I won it!"
Ah... About that, sweetheart...
[He's never seen her look this angry and affronted before.] "But you said I won it!! No one's gonna believe me if I don't show them!"
[Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh...
...Hm.
Ha. Hahahahaha...]
Here's an idea! How about another game? If you win, the statue is yours. If Keats wins, then it belongs to him. Is that fair?
no subject
[He looks down at the girl, who seems very adamant that the sculpture is hers. He glances back at Mettaton. He could very well be rude and just ask her to give it to him, but...he can't.]
[He just can't.]
Fine. [Sometimes he hates having a soft spot, he does. It's annoying.] What is it?
no subject
Well, since you're the challenger, darling, I think it's only fair that you suggest the game.
[Charlie stomps her foot in agreement, grinning widely.]
"Don't pick singing. I'll smoke you!"
no subject
[Okay, what games can he play with a child? Chess? No, that's out. Hide and seek? No, the apartment is too small...]
[He suddenly snaps his fingers. Yes, this could work:]
Have you ever played 20 Questions?
no subject
She points directly at Keats' face.]
"Is it a bread box?!"
no subject
[He shakes his head.]
You have to ask me questions. 20 of them, to be exact. If you don't guess what I'm thinking about, then I get the statue. If you do, you get to keep it.
no subject
Hah... Mettaton decides to get out of the way and take this to the sidelines. He pulls himself onto the back of the couch, propping his chin in his hands.
Charlie crosses her arms, but a petulant grin spreads over her face as she finally decides to properly play along.]
"Is it an animal?"