epidemiology | EVENT ▸ RETURN TO HQ

EVENT ▸ RETURN TO HQ

RETURN TO HQ

After a tough mission, it's time to return to Headquarters for a well-earned rest. Hathaway's medics and healers are there to patch up any lingering injuries (as are any teammates with healing abilities!), everyone's room is tidied up for them, and the entirety of Hathaway HQ is ripe for exploring. Take your time -- you earned it.

Also sharing downtime at HQ are Guilds Horatio, Montague, and Watchman, composed of humanoids of various shapes and sizes. Temporary pop-up shops down in the promenade include a spa where one can get a manicure, pedicure, or other beautifying procedures; a yoga studio; and an imported salt cave for meditation.

After a few days of silent relaxation, members of Guild Ophelia will all receive a text message on their magitek from Imogen -- their Guild Master, if they don't remember. Imogen, while not directly involved in any world-saving affairs, has a rather sizable amount of inheritance that she puts towards the Hathaway cause. Specifically, she uses it to finance Ophelia's endeavors. This sort of makes her in charge, or as much in charge of this rag-tag team as any one person can be.

Hello, Ophelia!

Once again, allow me to congratulate you on your successful mission in Hanabira. I hear the wedding went smashingly. Hathaway's analysts should rift down someone to check in on your success in several years, but the mathematicians are confident your solution has brought peace to the region.

One should never rest on their laurels, however. From what I've seen in magitek messages, this guild is sorely lacking in the ability to work together and trust all guildmates, regardless of who they are. I've spotted more than a few barbs exchanged. Hanabira will be only an exception if you continue to behave this way.

We'll be conducting guild bonding exercises today. While they are not mandatory, I assure you I've procured incentive for you all to participate. It isn't cheap to finance your exploits, and I won't spend my resources on a group of ruffians slinging insults at each other.

Meet by the memorial fountain in one hour, and do try to bring a positive attitude.

Your Guild Master,
Imogen

Those who choose to participate will find Imogen, a very prim and graceful elf dressed in elaborately embroidered robes, standing near the fountain. She greets everyone by name -- "nice to see you" and "glad you could make it" -- before directing them to the training rooms on the upper deck.

The training rooms include run-of-the-mill exercise equipment and the training simulation room, both of which are free to use by participants and non-participants alike. A tall, strong-looking man whom some may recognize as their recruiter is making use of the equipment. His name is Khalef, and he is happy to answer questions about the training facilities or anything else about Hathaway.

Between exercises, Imogen is available at the memorial fountain to chat but she's otherwise busy with paperwork.

▸ SECRETS

Two partners sit in a room furnished only with two (very comfy, if it matters) chairs and a table between them. On the table sits -- floats, really -- a colorful orb, softly glowing. It is comfortably warm to the touch.

The instructions automatically flash across the participants' magitek, thanking them for participating and asking them both to answer the following questions with complete honesty to gain the most from this exercise. Then, the first question pops up: What is something you like about your exercise partner?

It seems simple enough. If a participant tells the truth, they will notice the orb's glow brightening, almost as if it is starting to flame. If a participant lies, they will notice the orb's glow dimming. Otherwise, there is no penalty for lying.

The questions slowly get more personal, with the aim of getting the two partners to open up to each other:

If a crystal ball could tell you the future, what would you want to know?

What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself?

What are you most proud of accomplishing?

What do you think existed before the universe was created?

What do you think is the worst crime a human could commit?

Do you think jealousy has value in driving people to improve themselves, or is it a purely negative emotion?

If you could start your life over, what would you do differently?

If you were given only one week to live, how would you spend it?

Who had the greatest impact on your life? What was it?

What’s the difference between justice and revenge?

Is it possible to live a normal life and not ever tell a lie?

Do the ends justify the means?

Are some people’s lives worth more than others? Why or why not?

Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

If a loved one died, but someone created a perfect copy, would they be the same person and would you love them just as much?

If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

( Mod note: the above are just ideas! You can pick and choose, or come up with your own. Whatever is most fun for you! )

If the two partners truthfully answer their questions, the orb will eventually catch fire, although it will curiously still remain only pleasantly warm if anyone attempts to touch it. It will blaze until it burns out, leaving two small marble replicas in its place. When one of the partners grasps it in their hand, they will be able to see through the other partner's eyes for one minute (although they will not be aware of their own surroundings, so you might want to be in a safe area). The other partner will be aware of this and able to sever the link by removing the marble from their person. These items are bound to their owners and cannot be used by others.

If one or both partners lie, the orb will eventually fizzle out entirely, and the magitek will inform them that the exercise was failed due to deceit.

▸ RIFTING

Next, guild members are directed to the rifting pad located on the upper deck. Technicians scurry about in the rifting area, spinning dials and taking readings, as volunteers are directed to stand on the rifting pad and wait. It's just like rifting to a different universe for a mission -- the world goes bright and then, in a flash, you're standing somewhere else -- except the technicians emphatically explain this is not a mission. It's still part of the training exercise, you see!

Participants have been rifted to an unpopulated garden planet, in the middle of a forest clearing. The grass is tall -- nearly 150 cm in height -- and is surrounded on all sides by forest. A notice pops up on your magitek that informs you there is no aggressive local wildlife, but there are aggressive plants: including, unfortunately, your goal for this part of the exercise.

Spread throughout the forest are aggressive willow trees, sentient flora that will lash out with sharp, clawlike branches at anyone who comes too close. The branches have incredible reach, but the trees have no other defense, and are rooted to the spot so they are also unable to maneuver. The goal of the exercise is to gather as many willow seeds as possible, ostensibly without hurting the trees themselves. Willow seeds are around the size of a small marble and have a fluffy attachment that will allow them to blow away on the wind; you can scour the forest in search of them, of course, but the highest concentration is below the willows themselves.

Once participants feel they have gathered enough seeds -- or if they simply want to give up -- they need only speak to the rift technicians via magitek and they will return back to Headquarters immediately.

The participants will each receive a pot of soil and a seed to plant within it. The plant that sprouts from it will be no ordinary plant; it will require no water to sustain itself, but it will require something else: friendship. As the relationship between the two participants strengthens, the plant will grow, its appearance representing how the other participant feels about the plant owner -- pink and red blooms may represent romantic love, whereas bright, multi-colored petals may simply represent a strong friendship or budding blooms may represent... well, a budding friendship. (Of course, there's no "flower guide", so it's up to them to decide how to interpret this.) As the relationship weakens, the plant will wilt and, if the relationship turns sour enough, die. So take care of your relationship and take care of your plant!

▸ COMPOSURE

This exercise completed, participants are free to return to the first deck and go about their business. But on the elevator back down from the rifting pad, the elevator suddenly jerks violently and then stalls. You're stuck! The emergency button doesn't seem to be working, no matter how many times you press it. And for that matter, no messages seem to be going through the magitek, either. You're effectively trapped in here with whomever you stepped aboard -- a friend, an acquaintance, or even a stranger.

But don't panic -- surely Hathaway hired you for your ingenuity and not just your pretty face, right?

The elevator can be broken out of in a number of ways:

If you brute strength the doors open, you'll find that the elevator is stuck halfway between floors. This means that you must either climb up or down to escape the narrow opening, and, if your partner isn't the athletic type, help them out as well.
If you hack the elevator's control panel (prying the panel door off first, obviously), you may be able to guide it up and down the shaft. Depending on your expertise in this sort of thing, the ride may be jerky and uncomfortable, and there's always a risk of the elevator plummeting down to the bottom if you lose control -- although strangely, there's never any impact if this happens, only the elevator springing back up the shaft after the fall. Either way, you should be able to figure out how to get the doors open.
If you open the access hatch at the top of the elevator, you'll be granted access to the elevator shaft. It's a dimly lit tunnel of cables and wires, and unless you're lucky enough to find a service ladder in the midst of all of it, you'll have to use the cables to climb. It's dangerous -- you could lose your footing at any moment and slam back down onto the elevator below -- but you should be able to find a door eventually. And then it's only a matter of figuring out how to get it open.
Or you could try a combination of these, or something entirely different!

No matter what method you choose, once you find your way onto solid ground, your magitek will light up:

Congratulations! You passed the final exercise. Rest assured, you were never in any real danger, I promise!

Your Guild Master,
Imogen

Indeed, if you found yourself falling too far down the shaft, you would have found yourself instantly buffeted by invisible winds to keep your landing soft -- and if you found yourself unable to find a way to escape within two hours, the elevator would automatically start up again.

Those who succeed will receive a flashlight that does not seem to work at first; however, it is capable of taking and storing light from its immediate surroundings, which it can then release into similar light sources or, in the absence of those, floating orbs of light. It is incapable of taking light out of an entire building, for an example, but can darken a room.

▸ OOC NOTES

If you have questions about this log, please direct them to this comment on the plotting post. Questions about the game in general can be directed to the FAQ.

▸ Up now:

Hanabira Bounty Board is still open! Bounties must be turned in by the start of the next mission on 15 April.
Congratulations, Guild Ophelia now has an official uniform! The uniforms may be modified in any way characters like. The FAQ and Headquarters pages have been updated to include the uniform information.

▸ Coming next:

25 March: Mandatory How's My Driving meme. Participation is required to pass March AC.
28 March: April calendar, including news about apps.
01 April: March AC begins, ending on 5 April 23:59 UTC.

▸ Plotting ▸ Hathaway Headquarters ▸ Hanabira Bounty Board ▸ March Calendar

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Rhys is very excited to take Fiona for a spa~~ghetti~~ day, as she is a dumpster baby and has never experienced the finer things in life like vagina steaming and cactus massage; he is also somewhat nervous, because she's a dumpster baby. Don't embarrass him. It's going to be fun, though! Probably. Either way, they're both going to come out of it looking fresh to DEATH. ]

Okay, so, [ he says as he steers her towards the pop-up spa, ] if they give you cucumbers, do not eat them. They go on your eyes. [ She's probably seen this on TV and he's just being insulting. ] I'm kind of an expert about this stuff.

Edited 2018-03-18 04:56 (UTC)

[Yeah, she's going to ask them what their spaghetti policy is and everything, get ready to get mega embarrassed. Actually, she is kind of mulling over the idea of acting like a backwoods hick just to annoy Rhys; it's about a 50/50 chance right now. Slowly rising if he keeps patronizing her like this.]

Really. An expert. I never would have guessed. [Just kidding, it's very obvious he's a spa connoisseur. A spannoisseur.] So what are we doing today, are we going to bathe in mud... clay?

We can, orrr...

[ He starts counting off on his fingers, as if he has a mental list to go down. Maybe he does. ]

We could get massages. Or go to the sauna. Orrr get facials— [ He turns to her with a pointed finger. ] They're totally manly, Businessman Monthly said so.

[Ha ha, facials. Fiona is 12 so she makes a little face, though she doesn't comment. Or at least not specifically on that.]

But I'm not manly, we need a gender neutral activity. [She starts counting off her fingers, too.] I already give you perfectly serviceable massages, so no to that.

Um, yeah, sure.

[ "Perfectly serviceable" isn't SPA-WORTHY, first of all, and Fiona expects reciprocation and horrible things like that. Masseuses never go, "Okay, my turn" when it's clearly still your turn. Just saying.

(Also, she's kind of manly. Just saying x2.) ]

Okay, you pick the activity. You're the country mouse who's getting a taste of big city living.

[I mean, she's manlier than him, but that's not saying much. ZING!]

Oh, my god. You know Hollow Point is a city, right. [A garbage city, but still. She's a garbage mouse, not a country mouse.

She stops as they come up to the spa, tapping her lower lip and studying the... menu? The offered services.]

There are so many waxes. [She thinks about telling Rhys to get a full-body wax to fulfill her ""dream"" of a naked mole rat for a boyfriend, but then she sees "hot stone massage" and gets all excited, pointing.] I've seen this one on the ECHOnet, let's do this one.

[ ok i guess they spaghetti dayed and rhys probably got a manzilian i don't know how to do a proper timeskip i'm not fucking george r.r. martin or anything, pretend a spa montage happened here ]

Soooo, did you like it.

[ Not that it's important, but it's important for her to like his lame squishy hobbies, they can't go to a deathmatch every weekend or whatever regular Pandoran hobbies are. ]

[well i just had to google exactly what a manzilian is, so neither of us got out of this unscathed tbh.

Fiona adjusts her hat as they leave the spa, needing to look her best now that her pores have been cleansed and her vagina steamed or whatever.] Haha, I don't know. They took my makeup off. [HER MAKEUP!!!

She holds her hand out toward Rhys, wiggling her fingers.] Feel my skin, did it do anything? Am I one of your Helios girls now.

[ She's obviously hideous now without her cakeface, he can't look at her. Is there a vagina-steaming for her FACE??? He feels her hand mostly for show; he's not going to be like, oh, no, it did nothing, you still have the calloused skin of a railway worker. ]

Oh, my god, is that even your skin I'm touching? Did you pull a fast one on me and switch your hand out with a baby's butt?

[ Hey, girl. You have baby butt hands. ]

You don't want to be a Helios girl. Yooouuuu are better than a Helios girl. You don't know what happened at the office Mercenary Day party of '73. And you never will.

[Baby butt hands, the hot new rejuvenation technique made famous by Spollywood (Space Hollywood).

His dumb compliment -- about being better than a Helios girl, not about having baby butt hands -- makes her laugh stupidly, and she slaps weakly at his hand.] Stop. [But don't stop.

It feels awkward to be like I LOVED THIS STUPID PAMPERING EXPERIENCE, YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG, so she still doesn't say anything about it, though the way she's all relaxed and happy should make it pretty clear anyway. She even slips her arm behind his back, look at this dangereux PDA.]

You're better than a Pandoran guy. In case you were wondering. You don't want to know what they do for Mercenary Day parties.

[ So much PDA, if she's not careful people might think she knows him! He lets his arm hang off her shoulder, because his limbs are gargantuan. He is always comfortable with PDA, though, because he isn't a weirdo who hates things like happiness and love, so this isn't some shocking movement. He's usually just scared that she'll get mad at him if he tries to initiate PDA and, god forbid, call him tacky, so he waits until she does. ]

Ummm, judging by my intimate knowledge of Pandoran culture, I'm assuming people die. Just an educated guess.

[PDA really embarrasses her, okay, love is fine! Love is just fine. But she's getting better at it all the time; she held his hand on cat planet and kissed him at the empresses' wedding. Pretty soon she'll say she loves him outside their quarters and everything, stop the presses.]

Wow, so you already knew. Egg on my face.

[She actually is really into this arms on each other thing, and she leans against him a little as she steers them toward the elevator to the residential level.]

What about... Helios weddings? Did anyone even get married up there?

[ It was a fucking wedding, literally a celebration of romantic love, how brave she is for kissing him. He makes a face, scrunching up his nose. ]

Uh, well, people could leave sometimes, you know. Like, you didn't have to make every single event an office party. ...I mean, you had to make most of them office parties, the vacation plan was— haha, it was probably a human rights violation or something.

[ Everything about working for Hyperion was a human rights violation, even the orgies. Especially the orgies because he never got invited and that's discrimination tbh. ]

But people had regular weddings, too. Regular regular, not Pandoran regular. [ Because his normal is the real normal, not hers, sorry!!! ] Like, crappy destination weddings or ones with really cliche themes. [ How to put this in terms she'll understand... ] You know, like the ones you see on the ECHOnet.

Oh, my god, [she says, brightening because she can share a destination wedding story instead of scowling at how rude he's being,] I once saw one where a couple made their entire family go to Aquator. They were from Isolus or something ridiculous. [Look, it's still rude he thinks her entire knowledge of life outside Pandora comes from ECHOnet shows. Even if it's true.]

Whaaat... kind of wedding do you want? I assume you've had wedding dreams since you were a little boy. [Rhys meticulously planning Barbie wedding seating arrangements.] Exactly how many glitter cannons?

Oh, my god, shut up. None.

[ Glitter cannons are so last year. She's so rude, insinuating he planned his little Barbie weddings — he planned Barbie board meeting seating arrangements, thank you very much. That's way less embarrassing, obviously. ]

I was too busy having wildly successful C.E.O. dreams to plan my wedding to the most popular girl in fourth grade. But I can say with 99 percent confidence that none of my dreams involve glitter cannons.

Ha. Fine, I toootally believe you. [She doesn't. In case that wasn't clear.

She lets go of him once they reach the elevator, because while she can tolerate walking while hanging all over each other, just standing there like that is too fucking embarrassing.]

So you never thought about a wedding? No glitterless plans? [she says, stepping inside the elevator and holding the door for him because she's a gentleman like that.]

[ Are you fucking kidding, he can't deal with her PDAphobia. But whatever, at least she's being polite enough to not let his limbs get chopped off by the elevator or whatever. That makes up for about 25 percent of it. ]

I mean. In the sense that I thought I'd probably have one someday. [ And that Handsome Jack would be there. As the groom. Just kidding. Maybe. He had a weird dream once. ] I'm not secretly married, if that's why you're grilling me. I would totally be bragging right now if I were secretly married.

[Look, nothing is stopping him from holding her hand or whatever, he can just reach out and do it! She won't slap him away or anything, plus she might laugh stupidly, which he goes gaga for, don't even try to deny it.

She leans all caszhj against the wall, though it's not like it's a super long ride upstairs or anything. But ABP, always be posing.]

Oh, my god. No. [She'd punch him if he were secretly married. Even more if he bragged about it!] I'm curious, okay, we just came from a very magical wedding. It's topical. Plus, I never really imagined I'd have one, so... I dunno. Just... yeah, just curious.

[ Stupid laughing is his Thing, don't judge him. He's not leaning caszhj-ly against the wall because he's not a cool kid, but when he sees her do it, he automatically mirrors her; forever copying Fiona, this is his life. ]

Oh, my god, come on. You never thought you'd be Mrs. Psycho? There's so many eligible bachelors on Pandora.

[ Just being CASUALLY PLANETIST, you know how it is. ]

[This copycat, this imitator. This plagiarist. She doesn't mind, though; it's cute.

She does mind a little how disparaging he is being about her home planet, though. Only she is allowed to do that, he's not from there. He doesn't get the privilege.]

You realize I'm from Pandora. Are you saying I'm not marriage material?

[ Oop. He wants to insult her (all the time, obviously, it's a compulsion, an illness) but not that much. Fun insults only. Funsults, patent pending.

He shrinks a little, holding his hands up. He's so sweet and innocent, leave him alone. ]

I said bachelors, don't hurt me.

[YEAH, AND FIONA IS A BACHELOR!! Because she's so manly, get it.

She looks at him in silence for a second, eyebrows raised, then pushes off the wall to stand straight. It's at this time that the elevator doors open -- she timed it, she's lame, don't judge her -- so she steps out, holding her hand behind her and just assuming he'll take it and follow.]

No promises.

[ Fiona's cool girl elevator routine, timed down to the second. He snatches up her hand immediately, pathetic little Fionaphile that he is; he loves to hold her dumb hand, it's so dumb. ]

If you kill me, I'm pretty sure they'll kick you out of Hathaway. That seems like a thing. Not killing your coworkers. [ It wasn't at Hyperion, obviously, but APPARENTLY that's not normal!!! ]

[He's very predictable, but it's sweet; she loves when he follows her like a lovesick little puppy, it's a big part of why she likes him so much. WORSHIP HER.

Squeezing his hand, she glances back over her shoulder.] I didn't say I'll kill you. I might just hurt you a little. [u know. smexily.] They can't fire me for that.

[ don't ever type smexily ever again i'll report you to the authorities ]

You really don't know how jobs work, huh. [ It's cute, she's so unemployed. She's never worked in an office, it's like she's a unicorn or something. ] Technically, you're not supposed to beat anyone up. Uuuunless you don't get caught, then anything's fair game. I guess they don't teach you that in con artist school.

FIONA | closed

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