(open-ish) the damage is already done

[1300yen]

CHARACTERS: Everyone who stayed behind on Nalawi
DATE: 06/12... technically..... but covering the three months the recruits stayed behind
WARNINGS: None, probably. Will edit if something comes up!
SUMMARY: A catch-all log for the characters who stayed behind on Nalawi!

Just what it says! For the characters who stayed behind, feel free to make top levels or prompts of what they're doing to further help out the locals.

Comments

[grunehexe]

Some are a bit cagey, of course, it cannot be helped...

[After all, she was hardly in a position to claim she was forthcoming with everything about her own world and the nature of her abilities.

Still.]

Most are willing to answer whether they were gifted or stumbled upon their abilities as opposed to being born with them.

[ex_adept136]

In that case...what do you rank highest, after magical aptitude?

[A thing with which Haise didn't have much of any familiarity, as magic didn't really exist where he came from. But surely there were other things that Siegline was looking for. Traits that weren't just about biology and inheritance.

Even if she claimed that love wasn't important to the equation...surely there had to be something?]

[grunehexe]

Hmm... Proof of virility I suppose?

[Yet another thing said with a completely straight face, tapping a finger now to her chin in thought. The wag he was asking made it seem as if he had quite a different idea of things, so she looked him over a moment before asking,]

Yourself?

[ex_adept136]

[That was...certainly not what Haise might've expected as a response. Less of a personal quality and more of a physiological function. If she was concerned with children he supposed that it made sense to make such a thing a priority, but one of the top two...

But once it was his turn to answer a question, he sat up a little straighter, wide-eyed curiosity dashing across his features for a beat]

Myself...?

[Was she asking what he would prioritize?]

I...haven't been in a position to consider that sort of thing. But I suppose...kindness and intelligence would be some traits I'd appreciate.

[grunehexe]

[It was likely a weird thing to understand, a leftover from her thinking as if she still lived in the Witch Forest, still would likely only meet a man if he were a traveler stumbling through the woods lost... And men were not permitted to stay. That was a rather narrow timeframe in which to ensure a pregnancy, so virility was quite important... Maybe not so much here.]

An, intelligence is another good trait... Good point...

[She nodded along as if impressed with a wise answer, though... "Kindness" was notably absent from her praise.]

[ex_adept136]

[Haise at least knew himself well enough to know that he'd prefer being able to engage intellectually with a partner...if ever he were to have one. Of course it naturally fell under the category of things he felt safest not to consider, because while such attachments would surely have a warmth of their own, he had the tacit acceptance that such things were not for him.

Not when his existence relied so heavily upon whether he proved himself useful, and not when he might die trying to prove why he should be allowed to live.

Here, circumstances were different, but this wasn't forever]

I think...while genetics may be a concern for you...temperament would still be important. Kids can take after their parents in that way, can't they? So, someone you could relate with might be best.

[And thus he could try to nudge in the direction of actual chemistry rather than simple baby-making. That sort of mindset struck him as incredibly lonely in its way]

[grunehexe]

[It was something she'd considered, of course... temperament. People bred dogs and the like for temperament, did they not? But.]

Thoughts are divided on such things... nature versus nurture, all that. I'm quite sure if the father is not in the picture his personality will be of little consequence...

[She hummed a bit assuredly to herself, nodding along, before giving Haise a bit of a concession (in her mind) for his part in things.]

You may wish to consider temperament, however, I suppose.

[After all, he seemed the marrying type to her.]

[ex_adept136]

If I were in that position, I probably would.

[Haise didn't mind admitting that, though he believed there were certain aspects of one's nature that were surely intrinsic. It didn't seem that Sieglinde necessarily thought the same thing, and it wasn't something that he could prove.

Even now he had no idea whether any part of himself was like Ken Kaneki, only knew him as the infamous eye-patch ghoul. Other ghouls had feared him, when he wore a mask they appeared to recognize.

How much of a person was decided by what was around them...?

Such ruminations were, of course, best left for another time]

...If you don't mind my asking... If you were to find someone who fit the physical and magical qualifications, but you felt nothing for them, or even hated them, would the genetics be all that mattered?

[grunehexe]

[She's not sure if anyone has actually asked her that before. Not so directly, at any rate. She opened her mouth to reply, to answer that of course it would be all that mattered...

But a part of her knew it was easier to say that when she'd lived in Wolfsschlucht. When she'd known that likely any man she met would be gone within days. It had seemed very simple, in that way, no complications or hang ups.

What about here? Now?]

... Well. Hate would make copulation a bit difficult, I imagine.

[She imagined.]

[ex_adept136]

[It gave her pause, and that was something. Haise knew he couldn't presume to dictate to her what the right way to approach creating a new life was, no matter how strongly he felt about it. But being a product of love would, he could imagine, mean something to that child one day.

In fact, he hoped that his own parents felt strongly for each other, but he hadn't a way of knowing. As much as the phantom of his past self haunted him, he was always left with more questions than answers.

But maybe with time to evaluate, Sieglinde might reconsider her stance, at least somewhat. Then one day, hopefully a good number of years hence, her child wouldn't have to wonder]

I'd imagine it would, at the least... Although I have no experience in that area, I do think there are a lot of considerations to be made. So thinking it over, and having the time, doesn't strike me as a bad idea.

[grunehexe]

[Did such things matter to children? Sieglinde had little experience in what "normal" children wished for. She thought perhaps when she'd been younger she'd daydreamed about what her father might have been like. What her mother would have been like if she hadn't died in childbirth. If she would have been proud of her.

Silly things like that. If you kept a child occupied, wouldn't they not care about such things? She'd mostly stopped.]

I am not planning on conceiving my heir now. I cannot yet anyway- but these things need planning in general, I am sure you understand.

[Because menstruation was totally a thing you could discuss with other people, why not? She was just... planning in advance.]

[ex_adept136]

Ah, I wouldn't have assumed you meant now...

[Actually the thought was more than a little alarming. Sieglinde was surely young, with quite a bit of her life ahead of her. Having a child was a responsibility unlike any other, Haise could well imagine. He'd been saddled with a handful jokingly called his own, though he was only a scant few years older than his squad.

Being responsible for helping others to mature and grow gave him some small idea of what it could be like, though he was sure it was far more complicated with infants and small children than those in their late teens]

But if you would...please consider who they are as well, even if you ultimately deem it unimportant.

[grunehexe]

You seem quite fixated on this topic...

[Says the girl who was quite serious about this topic. Fixing him with a sort of up and down look, Sieglinde finally nodded in appraisal.]

Are you trying to... throw your hat in the ring, so to speak?

[ex_adept136]

[Fortunately Haise was literate enough to have come across that phrase before, but even so, he couldn't imagine Sieglinde was suggesting what it sounded like...]

...Pardon?

[Surely he'd misunderstood]

[grunehexe]

[Ah... did he not understand that phrase?]

Are you attempting to woo me with... kindness?

[ex_adept136]

[And there the mental gears came to a grinding halt, and Haise could do nothing but stare for a good long moment. After this brief struggle with how to respond, he let out a small, airy laugh]

You really shouldn't tease me so.

[Clearly when in doubt, take it as humor]

Surely anyone would be kind to you - I haven't known you to be any less to others.

[grunehexe]

Are you not the one teasing?

[WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?]

Why ask so if you are not interested?

[ex_adept136]

[HE'S NOT EVEN SURE ANYMORE]

Not that I wouldn't be flattered- [And concerned] but wouldn't I be a little old for you?

[Surely...surely logic wins the day...]

I asked because I care about you.

[grunehexe]

[She hadn't... thought to ask that. Sieglinde pursed her lips, looking him over critically.]

- How old are you?

[Obviously the more important issue, here.]

[ex_adept136]

I'm twenty-three as of April.

[Or...that's the birthday he was given. It wasn't a real one, and he knew that, but the CCG had information on Ken Kaneki, he was sure they did - and so, they probably had what year he was born right.

And twenty-three was surely far too old for Sieglinde. Would remain too old by the time she was old enough to concern herself with the matter of actually having children.

Hopefully with someone who loved and appreciated her]

[grunehexe]

That is only ten years older than me, you know.

[Sieglinde wasn't quite sure why a ten year age gap would be the dealbreaker of all things that could possibly disqualify a person, but.

That was the results of an upbringing that modeled itself after 15th century morals.]

[ex_adept136]

...Only.

[He repeated the word, unable to fend off his own incredulity. Not scoffing by any means, but certainly wonderment.

They all came from very different worlds, but-]

Wouldn't you prefer someone your own age?

[grunehexe]

And what experiences and wealth will they bring to this match?

[As much as she considered herself an adult, despite her age...

She was at least possessed of enough awareness to know that most people her age weren't at quite the same... level.]

[ex_adept136]

Wouldn't that remain to be seen, when you were both older and so more established?

[Most thirteen-year-olds hadn't yet had the opportunity to fully form into the people they'd someday be. Haise had no recollection, but he was sure that he'd had to have grown a great deal by the time he was Sieglinde's age.

Though with his memory issues in mind...it was hard to say whether that progression was a part of his present self]

They could be a great many things, by that time, whoever they are.

[grunehexe]

And add even more time to this whole thing waiting to find out what they might be like after a bit of maturing?

[She certainly didn't see the wisdom in doing that when you could just take your pick of those who'd already done their growing up.]