wardance: now she wants me to be honest and reconnect with my son. (♯i'm dating this Christian girl right)
『伊達政宗』 ᴅᴀᴛᴇ "LET ME DO IT KOJURO" ᴍᴀsᴀᴍᴜɴᴇ ([personal profile] wardance) wrote in [community profile] epidemiology2016-06-12 11:45 pm

• closed • the truth of letting go lies in the answer

who Masamune [personal profile] wardance & Sieglinde [personal profile] grunehexe
what serious life changing decisions and requests are being made.
when forward dated to after the Recollection Festivities have concluded.
where In Residence (Oska)
warnings bad mothers mentioned and some squicky bone breaking of a 12-year-old's feet ;;




[ Although he has spent plenty of time socializing already, Masamune has also spent more time than what most here who know him to have ever done silent and by himself. The library has been an unlikely background to see the young warlord in, but following the end of the end of the recollection ceremony, Masamune has spent a lot of his time flipping through bound pages.

Now, back in his room, he has brought that atmosphere with him to a chair, wearing more modern casual attire, a white dog loyally resting by his feet. For Sieglinde, the door is always unlocked and doesn't require or expect a knock (although manners would help....). He glances up over his the top of his book curiously when he hears it open, the white dog's ears twitching curiously as it raises its head to greet the newest company to join them, tail already wagging.
]
grunehexe: (bad feeling)

[personal profile] grunehexe 2016-06-18 12:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[She has her own things to tend to when he leaves the room. Undoing the bandages wrapped loosely around her legs and feet, baring the things that she'd once been so proud of and now could only view as her punishment and her cross.

They weren't pretty, those feet. For all that such small and delicate steps and shoes had been admired and judged to be desirable, no one desired to actually see what was underneath the bandages- the misshapen, unnatural bend and arch of broken and molded limbs, toes that had been bent under and nails removed, arches broken and shoved up towards the heel.

She didn't even feel the prick of the needle when it went in, injecting herself with something to dull the pain. It wouldn't take away even half of it, perhaps, but it should take the edge off... help her remain a bit better focused on directing the task at hand.

But then he's back, and she takes the cloth he offers, holding it tightly in her hands as she leaned back in his chair, offering her feet up to his hands, breathing deeply.]


... you should start with the arch, then the toes. It's alright if you can't align the bones properly... once they've been softened again, I can... fix it myself later...

[Swallowed, clutching the cloth tighter.]

If I should lose consciousness, do not continue until I can continue to supervise the procedure...

[Had she been this nervous when she was younger, before the initiation? She can't remember any longer.]
grunehexe: (scream)

[personal profile] grunehexe 2016-06-19 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
... Alright.

[Even though she hadn't wanted anyone else besides Masamune here for this, seeing her like this, she knew it wasn't a poor proposal to have someone else look over the work... especially when she might be. Slightly compromised.

Her stomach was roiling, heart pounding, but there was nothing to do but wait. She remembered the first time in bits and pieces of snapshot memory- she remembered the speech the elder had given, remembered the nervous look on Wolfram's face, the tight grip her handmaidens had kept on her hands, the sound of the bones snapping, and the scream.

She bit down on the corner of the cloth, fingers dug into the arms of the chair as she looked down at his hands on her foot, ascertaining that he seemed poised to break the correct point. But maybe- Maybe she shouldn't do this. Maybe she didn't deserve it-

The shock made her wince, accidentally mistaking it for him beginning... but that was his point. It was a small distraction, put her off guard and less rigid for the-

Scream, muffled by her tight bite on the cloth in her mouth, but a scream of pain nonetheless, eyes squeezing shut despite her attempts to keep an eye on him, spine arching, knees pressing tightly together and instinctively jerking away in pain, mind searing white and forgetting momentarily how to breathe.]
grunehexe: (wince)

[personal profile] grunehexe 2016-06-19 10:06 am (UTC)(link)
[By the time he gets to the toes on the second foot, Sieglinde finally stops screaming. Her throat is too tight for it any longer, everything in her body on razor's edge, fingers digging in harsh and white knuckled at the arms of the chair, hips practically out of the seat, knees grinding together and struggling to keep from instinctively flinching away and jerking her feet from Masamune's hands. Nerve damage may have robbed her of most pain when her feet had been in their bound state, but now that they were being undone... There were new nerves to be found to be in pain.

There was only so much you could shave pain off of having the bones of your feet methodically broken piece by piece and rearranged, even if the shape they were beginning to retake was their natural one. Not near perfectly done yet, but a far more natural silhouette than they'd held not minutes earlier.

The tears are hot on her cheeks, teetering on the edge of hyperventilation and whimpering wretchedly around the cloth she'd bit down on, struggling to remain conscious, not to vomit, not to do anything but sit and let him finish the initial breaks. She tried to think about other things, tried to concentrate on the formula for the painkiller she'd prepared earlier that day...

But nothing would stay in her head, body drained of color and cheeks taking on a sick pallor as she cracked open an eye, tried to check on his progress in what seemed like it might be a lull, panting shallowly in between thick swallows. Don't vomit, don't vomit-]
grunehexe: (jawbreaker)

[personal profile] grunehexe 2016-06-19 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[There's a part of her that felt unfair, asking Masamune to be the one to do this. Even though she'd done it because he was the one she trusted most, the only one she felt even remotely comfortable with seeing her like this, which could be taken somewhat as an honorable role...

She knew it wasn't a pleasant task. She'd seen how perturbed Wolfram had been, taking her feet in his hands before the ritual. How he sometimes had looked still, when he changed the bandages and bathed her misshapen feet. She hadn't meant to saddle him with that responsibility... nor had she wanted to do the same to Masamune, even if she hoped that such feelings wouldn't linger, seeing as in this instance... it was supposed to help, in the long run.

But even though she had so many now that she cared about... she couldn't ask them.

Sieglinde bit down harder on the cloth, slowly regaining a bit of sense, a bit of control, as the pain shifted gradually from the sharp pains of actual breaking to the sicker yet slightly lesser pains of moving said broken bones about within her feet. She pressed the back of her skull into the chair cushions, sweat sticking her hair to the back of her neck, forcing herself to open her eyes and watch, trying to make sure the shape was at least vaguely correct for the initial work even though her vision was hazy along the edges, threatening to waver into whiteout-

Until her eyes shut tight again, the sound of her nails digging into the chair arms almost audible, sucking in air and biting back a little cry, shaking her head as she tried to find words... she was supposed to be supervising, so-

A word that might have been "tight" was barely audible around the cloth in her mouth, but she tried to get it out anyway, not contributing it to a slip on his part due to distraction so much as just inexperience with bandaging, which she didn't blame him for... she was grateful, but. It might be difficult to tell.]
grunehexe: (disappear)

[personal profile] grunehexe 2016-06-20 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
[It seemed like it took forever, but she knew it could only be a matter of minutes. She knew that- knew why it was even that she felt that strange expansion of time... but that didn't change how long it felt to be, feeling as if she could feel each and every shift of bone, scraping, aligning, burning.

That couldn't be true. She knew that, too, but still... It suddenly ends. At least, the pressure and movement ceases, her feet tightly supported by splints and bandage, leaving only the throbbing pain to remain, pounding in time with her haphazard heartbeat, which she tried to steady along with her breathing, nodding to try and acknowledge Masamune's work, the movement from chair to bed, trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks with fingers still harshly curled as if they still gripped the chair arm, joints too tightly locked.

Her eyes closed again briefly, as he brushes the hair from her face, speaks, gathering herself and her thoughts.]


I asked you to... It is fine...

[She didn't think of any additions to her pain as his fault, because it would be painful beyond normal imagining either way... What would be a little more that might come from asking for assistance from someone based only on trust and physical capabilities rather than experienced medical knowledge?

She had that, at least, and as her thoughts slowly returned she gathered them up, trying to force her fingers to straighten, keep her legs ramrod straight, not to shift at all. There'd be swelling, surely infection, she'd need-]


Can you bring me my bag... And a drink, please...
grunehexe: (pained)

[personal profile] grunehexe 2016-06-23 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
[Anticipating the toll the rebreaking would have on her, Sieglinde had prepared everything she would need beforehand. Painkillers, herbs to reduce inflammation, and teas for sleep. In between his first and second trip she weakly rummages in her satchel and pulls out the appropriate capsules and satchets, waiting for the drink he offered upon his return. The satchets went into the drink to diffuse, and the small pressed powders she swallows whole, only to be confronted with... A stuffed toy.]

I have not had such a thing since I was a girl...

[She almost laughs but it's too difficult for her. (And another reminder, that to her, girlhood was already a thing left far behind.) She could remember it, she thought- a black cat, soft and warm, that she had named Eben, a name only a three year old could convince of as brilliant.

But when she reached for it the lightning crackles in his hand and she's momentarily fascinated even through the pain, not even broken bones enough to stop her desire to learn and observe. Her watery emerald gaze followed it until it faded from sight, a hand weakly trying to feel around for it to see if it was invisible or actually dematerialized.]


What will it do...
grunehexe: (gentleness)

[personal profile] grunehexe 2016-06-24 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
Mmm... And you said you could not do magic...

[Her attempt at a tease failed just as much as her laugh had, the consequence of pain that had rendered her near mute and without humor, but at least she tried, placing the dragon she'd been given by her pillow, adjusting it weakly,

Sieglinde had always failed to come up with the proper name for what Masamune was to her. It did not feel as if he was her "friend"... Not in the way Sakura was... And he wasn't someone she considered one of her "disciples", like Olivia or Graham... She had wondered for a time, in Chantes, when she'd lied and claimed to be his sister, if that's what this was supposedly like. Siblings? But in the end, she had always been an only child, and knew precious little of how a normal familiar relationship was supposed to be like.

Masamune was just... Important. Enough that she'd forgive him even for thing she hated most.]


Thank you.

[And she did mean it, because he was the only one she could trust to do this, and he had, and it was done. For better or for worse.]

grunehexe: (pained)

[personal profile] grunehexe 2016-06-25 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[Face the future to change the past. Rebreak her feet to return them to how they once were. Make herself less of a burden on her team by making her an even worse burden for a few weeks.

Sieglinde nodded weakly, wanting to believe in those words, hoping that they would be enough to change her own mind and erase the doubt she had, lingering even then as she drained her tea, forcing herself to do it all at once in order to avoid prolonging the foul taste.

Only then did she let herself lay down properly again, nuzzling into the pillow and curling up slightly into the fetal position, pulling the dragon she'd been handed into her arms.

Tried to smile at Masamune, to assure him that she'd sleep. (And she would, because she was good at making potions and powders, and she wasn't scrimping on her own dose, not now.)]


Good night.

[It would be hours before they'd wear off, but at least she'd have that long to rest first.]